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Saturday, August 2, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors 8/3


Weekend Writing Warriors / #8 Sunday
08/03/14






Richard Peck said that he likes to end a novel where he started. Although I didn't quite do that, this passage is close to the end of my YA manuscript. Ben finds himself back in class talking about the robber barons, just like the very first sentence of BEING BENITO CARLEFFA, which I posted last week. Although this is not eight lines, some of the sentences are short and quick, so I decided to include the entire scene. 

Although just about every hand in the room is up, except Ben's, the teacher calls on him and asks, "Who were the robber barons?"



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     “Famous dead guys who ripped dudes off to get rich,” I said, but then blurted, “No. They aren’t all dead.”

     “Who are you talking about, Ben? Are we turning class into a political discussion?” Ms. Link smiled as if she were waiting for her compare and contrast moment. She’d always said, “History repeats itself” and now she was hoping I’d prove it true. 

     I shook my head, but she refused to move to another student. 

     “Can I use the bathroom?”

     “You may after you answer my question.”

     I stood and dragged my feet to the door. Before heading out, I grit my teeth and said, “My father.” 


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19 comments:

Binky said...

That sounds like a satisfying conclusion. I read a few of Richard Pecks books long ago.

Veronica Scott said...

Ooh, interesting development. I'm sure he'll be called upon to explain more of that remark. Intriguing snippet!

Frank C. Etier said...

Is that a cliff hanger ending or will there be more before "The End?"

Hmmm...wonder if he's in line to inherit the family business?

Will history repeat, again, and will he resist the lure of becoming a robber baron himself?

Great scene!

bethmatthewsbooks said...

Ooh. What an interesting character.

alexisduranblog.com said...

Great snippet. You've really got me curious about his father and their relationship.

Evelyn Jules said...

Now that is a great final line! Excellent dialogue, Joyce. Really enjoyed this excerpt! :)

Elaine Cantrell said...

Oh, now that's a place to stop. You've piqued my interest.

Teresa Cypher said...

Wonderful last sentence--and a nice build up to it. It sure wasn't what I expected! :-)

messymimi said...

You've got me wanting the rest of the story, and i'll bet the teacher does, too.

Martha J. M. Orlando said...

Ooh!!! You've got me totally intrigued, Joyce! Can't wait to read the entire book. :)
Blessings!

Victoria Davenport said...

Very interesting ending! A little bit of a cliffhanger :) Definitely makes me want to know about the father and their relationship. Great snippet!

caitlinsternwrites said...

The whole 'can versus may' correction seems unnecessary to me. There's no need to be mean.

homecomingbook said...

If this is near the end, I bet he's been exposed to his father in action.

Millie Burns said...

Grr, those pesky teachers ; ) Wow, what kind of man must his father be...

J. Lenni Dorner said...

Oooh, I like that.
I don't really know what's going on, but I like it!

ElaineLK said...

Ooh, very interesting! Great last line. Now I'm wondering about his father.

yawattahosby said...

Interesting dialogue! I think it's funny how the teacher is picking on the student. My favorite teachers back in the day had senses of humor.

Keep smiling,
Yawatta

stephscottwrites said...

Wow, what a great way to end! Sort of a cliff-hanger, but enough of a conclusion. I want more! Great snippet!

Kathy Combs said...

Great ending and snippet. Makes me want to read more. ♥