School Projects

Mustachio Bashio

After raising three kids, we experienced many years of school projects. The dogs and I are grateful to be past those days, since the poor pooches often became the victims subjects of study and I struggled to help kids pull these together. Once, Daniel shaved his hair and the dog's to see whose mane would grow back the quickest?

Answer: The dog's, of course; however, fourteen years later, the kid has plenty of hair.

Then there's the time I found a patch of fur missing from the golden retriever's tail.

"What happened to the dog's tail?" I asked.

"I needed fur for the fox on my poster, so I cut it."

Poor silly looking animal! Good thing Erica didn't need something that doesn't grow back.

RIP - You were a perfect subject!

Through the dog's participation, sometimes with free treats, we became better educated. We now know not to buy bottled water for our dogs. We get their water from the good old faucet, even though that's not the favored drink. Serving muddy rain water is the best way to please your pup.

We also learned not to stare at wild horses. You may think you know when someone is looking at you, but you don't. For a third grade science fair project, Judy stared at people for a set amount of time and recorded how many individuals realized she was looking at them. Most humans did not notice; however, animals always knew they were being watched intensely. For a good time, stare at zoo creatures, especially the big baboon. HA!

Judy - Grade 3

Disclaimer: Staring at animals should be done at your own risk. I am not legally liable for broken glass on cages, refunding admission prices once you get kicked out of places, or removing tusks from your backsides as you run from irate zoo animals.

Silly Sunday: Message From Hillary

Hey, Readers!

I got an e-mail from Hillary Rodham Clinton... although I don't remember her grammar being so off.



Check this out:

I write to inform you that your fund valued at US$10, 500,000 have been release by Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS). An ATM card with the same value of fund have been uploaded to your name in an ATM card. You are advice to contact Mr. Leo Steve, with his email (#^$%^$GRR.com) or by phone: +############ for immediate delivery of your ATM card, you only need to pay for the delivery fee for the shipment. Contact him immediately with your contact address and the shipment fee for your ATM card delivery. Best Regards, Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton U.S. Secretary Of State. Sent By: "Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton"

Here's a hint: If you are going to impersonate someone as intelligent and sophisticated as Mrs. Clinton, you best make sure you SPEAKA DA ENGLISH!

Silly Sunday: The Monkey Whisperer

 

One of my fifth graders made me this delightful, little sign that proudly hangs in my classroom. Like everything else, there is a story behind it; and yes, it's silly enough for a Sunday.

I started this school year with a fabulous tale about how I spent my summer vacation. Okay, it wasn't really what I did over my months off because kids don't want to hear about their teacher laying around the house after surgery. Instead, I told a stunning lie about my trip to Africa with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 

To make my story believable, I began by showing the kids a picture of young Brad Pitt in my University of Missouri yearbook. Once I had the logical reason of how I know him, I spoke about how Brad and Angelina wanted a pet monkey for their many kids. Furthermore, since I speak to monkeys, they wanted my help with this endeavor. 

To add interest to the story, I did my monkey imitation, which is quite good if I do say so myself. "Hoo, ha, ha, ha, ha." After I talked a monkey out of attacking Angelina, she invited me to California to act in her movie, Jane's Journey, about Jane Goodall the monkey lady.

My great, great, great, great, great, great, great whatever

My students' mouths dropped as they said, "Really?"

I said, "No, but it was a fun story, wasn't it?" 

This led into a writing prompt about "the summer you wish you had," which is a lot better than the boring, "Write about your summer vacation."

In conclusion, the kids have dubbed me a monkey whisperer, and thus the sign. ☺

Silly Sunday: Knock Knock Jokes

Would you like a knock knock joke this week?

Okay.

You go first.

 

For more fun, click on the link to 

Knock Knock Jokes.