Writer's Post: Censorship

In a previous post, I mentioned that I didn't want folks telling me what religion to follow. Along the same vein, don't tell me what books to read, what music to listen to, nor what shows to watch. Part of being an American is having the freedom not to have someone else censor my life.

But what's really wrong with censorship is the fact that your mind might fill in the blanks with a whole new meaning. Watch this censored version of The Count.

Or look at part of this speech that I've shortened and censored just for you.

You have been reading about a bad *%^ I got. I have been in *#% and have received #$* from @*&. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his life just to #$@ with *%^ for even one #$@?  

              Ooooo wouldn't you love to #$@ with #$@? Just ask Lou Gehrig.

I leave you with one more clip. Enjoy.

Hearing Loss Humor

Earlier this school year, I made the horrid mistake of allowing my boss to know that I hold a bachelor's degree in speech pathology/audiology. This is what I majored in way back when I was a dumb kid who hadn't a clue what to do with my life. With the discovery of my hidden degree, I was granted the job of giving hearing screenings to students in the kindergarten, second, and fourth grades.

Audiometer

The kids lined up outside my door, stepped inside, listened to tones, and moved on. In between classes, I decided to test the audiometer to see if it worked. That dang machine must have been broken because I couldn't hear a thing. Maybe it was related to my turning the TV up too loud (according to my husband) or blushing when someone said something benign like, "I need a Bic."

Needless to say, I set up an appointment with an ENT and had a hearing test. I'm not deaf enough to stick annoying plastic things in my ears, but I'm a bit at a loss. However, my hearing defect is atypical, and why wouldn't it be? Most people who lose hearing with age or rock music find the upper tones wiped out. My high and low tones are fine. I have a bilateral dip right in the middle--1,000 hertz. Of course, this is the pitch for speech. So I hear plenty, I just don't always understand.

The doctor said that this type of loss is hereditary. My daughter gave me a silent FU. That's okay, I couldn't hear her anyway.

Let me leave you with a fun clip about the Empty Nest and hearing loss. http://comedians.jokes.com/bill-engvall/videos/bill-engvall---empty-nest/