#GBE2: Bedtime Story

Okay kiddies, get comfortable because to satisfy this week's GBE2 challenge, I'm going to tell you a bedtime story about a brat named Goldilocks.

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I made a special batch of porridge, or as most of you call it, oatmeal. With a picky eater like Baby Bear, I added a few drops of Tabasco Sauce to spice things up. It tasted good, but Papa said, "This porridge is too hot," and he stormed out the door.

He can be a bear when things don't go his way. Naturally, Baby Bear and I followed and the next thing you know, we're taking a stroll through the forest. Finally, I convinced Papa to try the oatmeal again by promising to water it down with apple juice. Things would have been fine except when we got home, a bratty girl had broken into our house and messed with our stuff!

Goldilocks. She put her slobber on our breakfast and ate all of Baby Bear's food. At least someone likes Tabasco Sauce on oatmeal.

We headed past the breakfast table only to discover that the same twirp had broken Baby Bear's favorite chair, a wooden rocker that used to be a family heirloom; now, it's firewood.

To top things off, we found Goldilocks drooling lumps of porridge onto the kid's pillow. Can you believe she had the nerve to crawl into Baby's bed and throw up?

When Papa saw her asleep in Baby Bear's bed, he was ticked. He roared his most powerful roar, woke her up, and ate her.

Wordless Wednesday: The Suit

Mitchell's Bar Mitzvah suit, April, 1972.

Don't you wish you could look snazzy?

"And You Are. . . ?" Blog Hop

I'm participating in the "And You Are...?" Blog Hop on Emily R. King's site. You may join the "And You Are . . .?" Blog Hop by clicking the link (or David Spade's picture) and answering the questions below. So hop on by, link up, and be eligible for prizes.

1. How many speeding tickets have you gotten?

I'm married to a lawyer; so if I happen to get a ticket, someone knows how to fight them. I've had a few, but I don't have any points.

2. Can you pitch a tent?

Absolutely! I spent a lot of summers camping in the Colorado Rockies. We also used to go camping as a family. I even made tents by tossing blankets over chairs as a kid. When it comes to tent pitching, I'm a pro. . .  that is as long as my husband helps me.

3. What was your worst vacation ever?

We never had a totally horrible vacation, but we did have some bad situations within great vacations. Like the time both Daniel and Judy threw up on Erica in the backseat of a rental car.

4. What was the last thing you bought over $100?

We bought a Volt, which costs a little more than one-hundred dollars, but we have yet to spend a penny on gasoline.

5. We're handing you the keys to what?

I'll take the keys to health, happiness, and a good life.

6. What was the last meal you cooked that made even you sick?

My meals don't make people sick.

7. Fill in the blank: Oh my gosh! Becky, look at her butt! It is so big. She looks like  ____?

she needs a stair master for Christmas. Please, Santa. Help her out because I'm sure she's a good person who just has a problem with her butt. Nice enough for the good list?

8. What was your first car?

Technically my first car was a Chevy Chevette, but in reality I drove a rental car because the Chevette never worked. Once while driving a rental car, I got caught in a vicious hale storm. Giant ice rocks made the rental car look like it had chicken pocks. Having the car in the shop all the time had a plus that day.

9. Your best friend falls and gets hurt. Do you ask if he/she's okay or laugh first?

Ask if she is okay, of course.

10. What's the worst song ever?

There is nothing worse than "I Know a Song That Gets on Everybody's Nerves." You may listen to it, but I guarantee it won't be for long.

Silly Sunday: Dinner

My daughter received a text message asking her to eat out. Please read her response.

#GBE2: One Syllable Challenge

Beth gave us a job to write with short words. I could do this but yawn. I like short and long words, not just these. This needs to be worth a read as well as a skill. The joy of a good read is to choose the best words. When all of these have to be short, one can't read great work. This prompt has made me write a drab post.

Just face it, this post is . . .

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

It means "something to say when you have nothing to say." That fits.

 

Theme Thursday: Whispers

When it comes to scents, there are those that whisper while others shout––and there are even shouts that come in whispers. If you're tilting your head and wrinkling your brow trying to determine how a shouting scent whispers, let me clarify. A person, who I will not name to save public humiliation, has taken to whispering, "I farted" whenever he passes gas in my presence. Embarrass him? Probably not because some folks of the male species take pride in the bad ones.

Since this post is called "Whispers", not shouts, let me mention a wonderful whispering scent. My daughter sells BeautiControl, and I love the fragrance in the air after she demonstrates her products. The Dark Brown Sugar holiday scent is amazing!

When the family got together for Thanksgiving, Judy gave her aunts and me a special spa session, complete with the Tight Firm and Fill Instant Face Lift cream. I wish I'd taken a picture of my wrinkle-faced sister before and after. With one treatment, her frown lines practically disappeared. I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. As a result, I bought some BeautiControl.

It's almost December, so please visit Judy's website for your holiday shopping. You've got to buy gifts anyway, so you might as well get them from a 22 year-old who's trying to save money to visit her long distance boyfriend. Pleeeeease. She'll be miserable if she doesn't make enough money for a plane ticket.

You may order from Judy by visiting her website at www.beautipage.com/judylansky.  Anyone who makes a purchase from Judy ROCKS!

Wordless Wednesday: Breast Fed Baby

"Ba Ba." Someone is hungry.

Silly Sunday: Five Seconds of Fun

My niece's goofy husband brought a fun, free app to our Thanksgiving week-end and here are the results. No one was safe around Josh and everyone else who went for the download.

Taking a nap had it's consequences.

Sitting at a Thanksgiving dinner table can also be dangerous.

I wasn't even safe visiting with my family.

In case you're wondering, the app is called "Action Movie" and is available for free at the Apple App store.

Theme Thursday: Togetherness with Glasses

 

Here it is another year of Thanksgiving family togetherness and stories of do you remember when? Being the youngest in my family, it’s quite possible that there are more stories about me than anyone else. It’s not that I caused the most mischief, but rather, there were more sibs around to catch me at it. Not to mention that someone was always ready to set up the gullible little sister to carry out evil plans.

I grew up in a small St. Louis neighborhood with Leonard Slatkin, the famous symphony conductor, right next door. When his face appeared on the cover of our new phone book, he-who-must-not-be-named sent me on a mission to get Mr. Slatkin’s autograph. How was I  to know the great conductor would open his door with only a towel around his waist? Furthermore, I was too young to realize how gauche it was to ask him for his autograph in that situation. Being a good sport, Mr. Slatkin autographed my phone book and off I went only to be reminded of my faux pas at Thanksgiving get togethers forty years later.

I didn’t need eyeglasses to see the obvious during my childhood. Each member of my family wore a pair of specs while I enjoyed perfect vision. Not anymore. I blame it on childbirth because that’s when my vision went south. This Thanksgiving when my sister brings her new boyfriend to the family meal, I need either glasses or contacts to inspect him clearly. It's even better to find cheap eyeglasses that can be ordered here.

If you’re one of those people, like me, who needs a pair of glasses to see your family for the holidays, you’re in luck. GlassesUSA.com offers high quality optical products at affordable prices and in the fastest time span possible – all across the world. Their lenses not only exceed FDA requirements but they pass their “5-stripe” process prior to shipment. GlassesUSA offer a variety of shipping methods that best suits your needs. Please visit the premier place to buy prescription eyeglasses online.

 Besides their high quality frames and lenses, they offer a 110% lowest price guarantee and a 100% satisfaction guarantee along with a generous refer-a-friend program. Additionally, you can stay up-to-date on all GlassesUSA happenings through their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/glassesusa) and their Twitter feed (@GlassesUSA).  

Good looking stranger in glasses. :)

Now for the best news of all. Readers of this blog may receive a discount for the purchase of eyeglasses. STOREWIDE OFFER - Take 15% off your entire order amount + FREE shipping (orders over $50). Code: FS15

Take 10% off any order of prescription glasses. Code: Blog10
And feel free to check out their Sales & Coupons page for any additional up-to-date deals!

Here is a fun way to try on glasses before buying. 
Virtual Mirror Feature

Wordless Wednesday: It's Electric

 

We've traveled over 1,080 miles

 and have paid NOTHING for gas.  

Silly Sunday: Remembering Uncle Bernard

Elvis with Uncle Bernard

This week brought the passing of my husband's uncle, who not only was the clothier of the king, but also funny enough to be memorialized on a silly Sunday. Uncle Bernard marched to the beat of his own band as he put on his relaxed accent. He could speak to the homeless man on the street or Katie Couric with equal comfort.

Bernard Lansky, a master sales person, once called his son and told him to come to the store because he'd just sold the son's car. In a New York restaurant, Bernard didn't see anything he liked on the menu, so he asked the waiter for a peanut butter sandwich. The waiter said, "We don't have any peanut butter."

In which Bernard replied, "Run down to the 7-Eleven and get some."

With mouth dropping the waiter said, "I could get fired.

Bernard pulled out a huge wad of cash, gave it to the waiter, and said, "You now work for me."

"Smooth or crunchy?" the waiter said.

Bernard Lansky will be missed!

Book Launch: Small Portions

 

Today marks the book launch of Small Portions by Dieter Moitzi. “Small Portions” is a story that comes in… small portions. In precisely 111 little parts – AND a recipe. To explore the many facets of modern life, the author has chosen the literary form of vignettes, those short impressionistic scenes that focus on one moment or give a trenchant impression about a character, idea, setting, object.

Dieter Moitzi tells his own story in poignant scenes that vary from a snapshot of his christening in the early 70s to his father’s death in a skiing accident at the beginning of the 2000s. It’s small things he talks about, those many small things that compose a life – his life. He recalls the painful process of coming out of the closet, relates in funny detail the first encounters and love stories of his happy-go-lucky twenties, delves with analytical distance into aspects and turning points of two long-time relationships. He takes you by the hand and guides you through the streets of Paris, the city he lives in. He writes about food and the internet and his travel experiences in Greece, Morocco, Vienna, Tunisia, London…

In just so many carefully chosen words, sometimes poetic, sometimes blunt, but always with a good deal of wry and self-deprecating humour, the author succeeds in creating little universes with each story. Each one stands alone, yet when you link them together, another story takes shape. The story of a life, the sketch of a person, the mirror of a time. Our time.

You can purchase the book on amazon.com –http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009ZTSJOQ  – and on your local amazon-online-store (e.g. amazon.co.uk, amazon.fr, amazon.de…) The Book Launch Promotional price is only for only $0.99 (price exluding tax) until the end of the year. The book is also available in a French version (“Petites portions” – http://www.amazon.fr/Petites-portions-ebook/dp/B00A08G48O/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1351933352&sr=8-6) and a German version (“Kleine Portionen” –http://www.amazon.de/Kleine-Portionen-ebook/dp/B009ZTSLJY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1351933449&sr=8-2)  for €0.99 (price excluding tax).

 

I met Dieter Moitzi in the Blogesphere, where he has been a frequent visitor to my blog.  Born in 1972 in Austria, Dieter Moitzi moved to Paris, France, in the early 1990s. He is working as a graphic designer and writing in his spare time, mainly in English. He loves to share his passion for words, which is the reason why he has launched a literature blog in 2010. Ever since, he has published a collection of poems (“and somewhere under”) as well as a collection of short stories (“Miss Otis regrets”), both available on amazon. Moreover, his poetry has been published in the “Vine Leaves Literary Journal” in 2012. He is currently working on two novels that he hopes to publish in 2013. Congrats to Dieter on his new book! You may visit him at http://dietermoitzi.blogspot.com/