Happy Birthday to Me

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na.

Today's my birthday.

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na.

Happy birthday to me.

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na.

Getting old feels like crap.

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na.

But it's better than a dirt nap.

Bwa, Bwa, Bwa, Bwa, Bwa, Bwaaa

And if I close my eyes and make a wish, will we get to start the weekend early?
Yes we do! School has been canceled today due to inclement weather (that hasn't hit us, yet). 

Don't I look great for eighty-two?

Wordless Wednesday: Sleeping Babies

My Sleeping Babies

 

Wordless Wednesday: What's Different?

♭♬♩ One of these things is not like the others. ♫♪♩

 

Wordless Wednesday: The Dancing Hot Dog

I don't know why this dude shows up at all the foot races wearing a hot dog suit, but he also came to the MRTC party dressed like this:

Blair Parker - Photographer

I was ready to credit Blair with taking this photo too, but that's him over the hot dog's left shoulder.

Silly Sunday: Five Seconds of Fun

My niece's goofy husband brought a fun, free app to our Thanksgiving week-end and here are the results. No one was safe around Josh and everyone else who went for the download.

Taking a nap had it's consequences.

Sitting at a Thanksgiving dinner table can also be dangerous.

I wasn't even safe visiting with my family.

In case you're wondering, the app is called "Action Movie" and is available for free at the Apple App store.

Theme Thursday: Sunshine

In honor of the theme "Sunshine" I'm sitting in my den during a vicious night time rainstorm, while hoping our power doesn't go out again. Here are some ridiculous songs that sing about the impossible and expect us not to question it.

 

She sings about walking on sunshine and asks, "Don't it feel good?" Actually, it would hurt. One would burn the heal and toe. How can one walk on sunshine?

 

This actress sings about having a pocketful of sunshine, but I say, "No FREAKING way!" Sunshine would burn a hole right through a pocket and that would never work.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone? Really? One chick leaving is going to make the sun go away? Like that would happen! Of course, "ain't no" is a double negative which means the sun still shines, so I guess this one might work.

Wow! These songwriters must really think we're stupid to believe all that!

 

Which reminds me of one of my favorite movie quotes from Zoolander... 

Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?                                                                Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...                                                                          Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!  

Wordless Wednesday: No Solicitors

Thanks to the creative and talented Jerold Rabushka for sharing this jewel of a photo.

Yes! The red sign reads, "Absolutely NO SOLICITING"

#GBE2: Behind

Behind, bottom, bum, buttocks, backside, breech and all the other words that Beth had no intention of us using for this topic.

Everyone who visits my blog deserves a visit back, but I'm so behind and only get further so each day.

H iny--that thing we want to be tiny. Kids laugh when one says words that depict this part of the anatomy. If you laughed too, don't admit it... or better yet, you might like the kidlit that I write. :)

I would love to have the time to post stupid stuff everyday, but there is too much to do, and I'm behind!

N ot sure why the red only covered half of the letter. At least the letter is covered on the bottom. Ah, ha, ha, ha!

D errier is the French word for... well, just guess. I am so BEHIND in all I have to do that it's amazing I got a post up tonight!

I hope this isn't too lame.

Wordless Wednesday: Tom Hanks

Did you know there is a site totally devoted to turning Tom Hanks into animals? I couldn't make this stuff up! 

http://tomhanksimals.tumblr.com/

Here are some samples from this site.

Maybe it's best not to be a celebrity!

Silly Sunday: The Blonde Mortician

 

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.  She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.  She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and she says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the wake.  To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.  How much did you spend?"  To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her
with the blank check.

  "There's no charge," she says.

  "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the blonde says, "it cost nothing.  You see a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."

  "So I just switched the heads."

#GBE2: The Beautiful Legs Contest

Is this a good one?

As a mere elementary student, I was chosen from the audience at a high school carnival to decide which guy had the most beautiful legs. A paper screen covered their faces and torsos while I walked across the stage looking for a great pair of legs. To be honest, I didn't have a clue. What are good legs supposed to look like to someone with an age still in the single digits? Finally, I pressed my finger against some guy's knee and he reveled in his victory.

Today, I'm still not sure what makes a great pair of guy legs. I'm more of a face girl, maybe one who takes notice of a cute butt, but legs never did anything for me. So at a young age I learned that the secret to judging is to set a criteria. I still don't have one, so I'm asking for your help in case anyone else ever asks me to judge beautiful legs.

What makes male legs beautiful?

I'm leaving you with a funny leg clip because nothing is beautiful about a possessed leg!

I don't know why I still ask people to push the Picket Fence button, but go ahead if you want to.

V is for Vic #AtoZ

Vic, my husband's goofy friend, is always good for a laugh (but usually they're of the dirty variety). His  poor wife has been trying to lose 170 pounds for years, but he still hangs around. He'd drive me to drink, but this woman is a saint through all his "take my wife, please take my wife jokes." If she didn't laugh along, she'd probably slug him.

On New Year's Eve, Vic reported that 30% of New Year's Eve accidents involve alcohol. If that's the case, 70% do not involve liquor, so we have a better chance of getting home safely if we drink. Most recently he told my husband that our daughter didn't need to bring her checkbook with her to Prague. After all, there are plenty of Cheks there. Pretty funny, Vic.

The most outrageous Vic-ism happened on his fiftieth birthday party. He had it at McDonalds! Each of us received a Happy Meal complete with a toy of the boy or girl variety. He had balloons, streamers, and even a clown performing magic tricks. Although it's been a few years since his party, I still remember the double takes from those passing by. I could actually read their minds. They'd pass by, spot the balloon, think it was a five at first, then double take when they realized it said, "Fifty." Only Vic!

D is for DOGS -What else? #AtoZ

Being that I have multiple dogs sniffing all over my site, I had to take advantage of the D day. Let me introduce you to the crew.

The Swaz

Alpha Dog is The Swaz. He's an old, white-faced retriever who likes to spread his enormous body across the entry ways of dark rooms. I've almost ended my life by tripping over him quite a few times. Swaz has never been what one would call an active dog. When I throw the ball, he knows I'm not going anywhere, so what's the rush to get it back? He'll simply stroll to the ball, place it in his enormous jaws, and eventually I may see it again. He's a love but at 12½, I worry about him.

Millie & Erica

Millie the Rescue Dog: She's a Terrier Mix who probably hasn't seen a pedigree in the family for many years. Her tongue is too big for the mouth, so it sticks out but dries quickly. She hops into bed between my husband and me every night and makes odd groaning noises. My kids enjoy her squeaky toy gadget. Touch her belly and she grunts.

Goofy Ruby

Ruby the goofy grand dog: No longer my problem! I say that because the son took her back to Charleston after she chewed up every pair of my daughter's underwear. When we go to see her, she lets us know she still loves us by peeing on the floor or taking a flying leap to give us a sloppy kiss. She's a Dino dog (Flintstones) for sure.

I do not know the cute puppies on my site; however, if Erica has her way, we just might. Catch my words tomorrow when I explore the Empty Nest with Letter E.