GBE2: Pride Not - Pine Box, Please

I recently read an intriguing article Six Great Ways to Remind Yourself That You are Poor at http://www.cracked.com. The author, although a bit dirty, had some valid points about just how difficult it is for a young person to survive in this economy. His last point made me think about something that I believe my kids know, but I would like to reiterate this idea to them and the rest of the world. DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY GIVING ME AN EXPENSIVE FUNERAL!

If my loved ones were to dare bury me in the gold casket above or anything other than a plain pine box, my ghost would haunt them by screeching, "You stupid, @$$! Why did you throw money into the ground?" Let's take a step back and think about it. When one is in a state that needs a casket, do you really think the person cares what kind of box they are in? You're dead! You can't feel the cushions anyway. I want to be buried in a pine box. Then, dear children, take the money you saved from not buying a fancy, smancy funeral and enjoy a good party on me.

Money should be spent on the living, not the dead. I come by my thoughts from my dad, who was buried in a plain pine box. He used to tell us, when I kick the bucket get JC (the custodian at his store) to nail a few boards together. I feel sorry for folks who feel they have to prove to others that they loved their parents by buying the most expensive coffin at the mortuary. That's silly. Pine Box Only! That, dear children is not negotiable. It's my final wish.

 

Silly Sunday: My Living Will

Can't Stop Laughing!

My sister-in-law tells me she hardly ever goes on Facebook because she feels like it's junior high revisited. In some ways she's right, but at other times it makes me laugh hysterically. Maybe it's because I still have the maturity level of a middle schooler.  Today is one of those days as one funny events unfolded and a memory that made me laugh so hard my tummy hurt came back from something my sister posted.

Meet Kathy. She is one of my bloggy friends who hangs at The Giggling Trucker's Wife. She has a great sense of humor and writes interesting posts that always hold my attention. Truthfully with my ADD attention span, that's an accomplishment. Knowing Kathy through her site and our connections with GBE2, Writer's Post, and BBF, I've come to see her as a highly moral, respectable person. So I laughed hysterically when I visited her site to try to find her email address (which I still don't have, uh hm) and send her a private message. She's one of those people I haven't accepted as a Facebook friend because I've never actually met her, but oh, it gets harder and harder not to.

Anyway, when I didn't see her email, I clicked on her website. Wow, Kathy! I didn't know about your side business. From her porn site, she offers everything from... Oh, gosh, I can't even write the things she offers because it's too dang embarrassing. So, that's what you do when your husband's on his long trucking journeys out of town. See why I don't typically FB friend people I haven't met in person!

In Kathy's defense, she moved her blog and changed her blog's address; however, she failed to remove the domain change from her FB information page. I sure hope her mama, grandma, and dear Aunt Rosemary didn't visit her page! She'd have some explaining to do.

As for my sister, I don't know if you'd find this funny or not since it was one of those goofy kid private jokes that we probably haven't laughed about in over thirty years.

My sister posted that she's getting her first piano lesson tomorrow. Sounds innocent enough, right? I posted, "Next time I'm in Boca, I want a concert! You can play..." 

Now before I tell you what she can play, you need a little background information. In my odd but wonderful family, we had a unique word for a person's bottom. I never realized that the rest of the world did not call a butt a "tootsie." I even went to one of my favorite websites http://thesaurus.com to see if they recognized the word "tootsie" for buttocks. 

Main Entry:	buttocks [buht-uhk] /ˈbʌtək/ Show Spelled
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	rear
Synonyms:	back end, backside, behind, bottom, bum, butt, derriere, fanny, fundament, gluteus maximus, haunches, hindquarters, posterior, rear, rump, seat

Main Entry:	bottom
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	rear end
Synonyms:	backside, behind, breech, bum*, butt*, buttocks , derriere, fanny, fundament, posterior, rear, rump, seat, tail, tush

Next, I looked up "tootsie" in the Urban Dictionary. Nada! It means toes and some gross things, so I won't even supply you with a link.

So where the heck is "tootsie" in the dictionary? Doesn't anyone out their in bloggy world call a "bum" a "tootsie?" More curiously, why in the world did my family use that word for that term?


Anyhow, Barb was a flute player, and we (or I should say SHE) made up words to one of her concert pieces. It went Do do do do do do, my tootsie love you. My tootsie eats meat. And where in the world did we get meat from? I swear, we were totally innocent children singing this song and being silly. I figured you wouldn't find it funny, but thanks for sticking around anyway.