Silly Sunday: Terrorist Plot Revealed

On my way to the mailbox, I found a note in my yard and KNOW I've uncovered a secret terrorist plot. The plan will be orchestrated by three men code named "Hot Dogs, Beer, and Yazoo." These chicken-hearted thugs are planning an offensive against farms in Avocado Heights, California. To prepare for the assault, they've worked their buns off earning bread. They've also found secret contacts in bars. Pease take heed to this dangerous message before we roast in hot soup. 

Upon further inspection, I discovered that these bad guys lure dogs into the mission through treats such as pies made with pot. Before you water down the seriousness of my find, be aware of their use of a dangerous chemical code named "Diet Coke." They've tried to smooth over the hard results of this mission by sending the Arabic greeting of peace, "Salaam." Furthermore, the Swiss have funded their attack through the sale of candy. I need to contact the FBI to inform them of how I chipped away this cheesy plan all from a note in my yard. 

So here's the note. Do you think I'm on to something?

Writer's Post: Mister Hats

If you're up at three a.m., you might catch a TV ad from the best hat shop in Memphis, Mister Hats. With its wide selection of quality products, it's easy to find what you want. The owner has even made sales from people who reach his store by dialing the wrong number. That is after a thirty minute chat!

However, what happens at Mister Hats typically stays at Mister Hats, so here's a rare peek into the hat business.

A customer asked, "What do you have here that’s on sale?"

"Everything is for sale!" Mr. Hats said. And it is. I bet he'd even sell his dictionary since he said, "This book's got a lot of words but no plot." 

On another occasion, a gentleman with a southern drawl asked for a hat with a confederate flag on it. He needed one because a police officer had taken his last one.

I wonder if losing his hat had any similarities to the customer who apologized for not being in for awhile due to having been incarcerated. He repeated his jail comment multiple times and then got excited when he saw cologne. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm not going to steal it."

  Check out Mister Hats!

 

113 S Highland St, Memphis, TN 38111
(901) 452-2099

Wordless Wednesday: School Pictures

I've torn my house apart trying to find that one preschool picture that best fits my humor blog, but it is lost. Judy was proud of her new pair of underwear; so, when the camera flashed, she flashed too. I guess posting that photo would not go with my blog's clean image anyway.

Here are a few goofy school pictures of my kids and me.

Erica is never fully dressed without a hat to show coolness.

They retook Judy's picture but gave us the original

I trimmed Daniel's mullet and put this photo in the paper.

My school picture from kindergarten.