100 Words on Saturday - Week 10

When one gets married, they think they know everything about the one across the aisle, but not necessarily. I'm participating in a prompt this week where I need to tell a dark secret in exactly 100 words. Oh, man. This one's baaaaaad!

 

Tim and I waited until marriage, so he didn’t know; however, I reminded myself of the date when he'd told me he's a butt man. Baby Got Back was written for him.

“I’m not normal,” I said, while he unzipped my gown. 

“Who is?” 

I slipped off my bra and revealed one bottom.

Tim scrunched his eyebrows. “If that’s your butt, what’s above your legs?”

Lowering my panties, I revealed the normal part. “In girls’ PE, I was nicknamed bi-ass for one on the chest and one below.”

“Alright!” Tim beamed. “If things get rough, I’ll turn the other cheek.”

Theme Thursday: Mysterious Pepper Fun

sweet male

While shopping at Kroger, I learned that peppers have sexes: four bumps on the bottom is a female pepper, which is firm and good for cooking, while the three bump variety means a sweet male. I never knew vegetables were sexual beings. Of course, the way they dance around the vine, it shouldn't surprise anyone to learn of magic in the field.

So the females have more bumps and curves. Hm? Furthermore, girl peppers carry more seeds that make her

bloated female

heavier, kinda like that time of the month, although they are permanently bloated.

I also have to wonder if sweet males like to hang on vines with other sweet male peppers or do all peppers have fun together? If the males and females hang together, is it like one big vegetable orgy?

Every time I think I've heard it all, I learn more. I guess some peppers grow red after hanging around with their bumpy bottoms showing. 

Woo baby! Wanna hang on my vine?

You'll never think of peppers the same way, will you?

Wordless Wednesday: My Freezer-The Post I Never Wrote