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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Silly Sunday: Vending Machines

Here's a link if you want to join Rhonda's Silly Sunday: Laugh Quotes

A Texas salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan ..

Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00'.

'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.


The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'

The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off..

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit........ which now had a button sewn neatly on the end..

Friday, September 16, 2011

Writer's Post: Serenity


For this week's Writer's Post, Jenn has posted the above picture and asked us to use the word "serenity" in our blogs.

Serenity - The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

This is just the case for bikes! Just ask my brother and sister about French Lick, Indiana, and they'll tell you how serene bike riding is. Unfortunately, they veered onto the rocky horse trail instead of the bike path, which was fine until a rider yelled, "Giddy Up." A broken collar bone for bro and cast-covered leg for sis, and we were headed home. Daggumit! They cut our vacation short. So in their honor, here's their favorite song–NOT.



A few years later, I learned how to ride a bike and almost lost my life too. Remember, bike riding equals serenity. While zooming down a hill, I peddled at high speed. Upon reaching bottom, I found myself rolling head first into a car. Right when I was ready to collide (without a helmet since we didn't know any better back then), some invisible person grabbed my bike handles and steered me out of the way. I guess I wasn't meant to die at age seven.

As an adult, I bought a ten-speed racing bike and rode back into the serene experience of bike riding. I even competed in several triathelons. After all, there is nothing like the serene feel of skirting past traffic on busy streets. Not to mention the butt aches.

Recently, the only thing serene is the bike itself. It's gathering dust in our garage. Perhaps it's time to dust off the bike, fill the tires, and go for a "serene" bike ride.

If you like, please click the fence. Thanks!