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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Motherly Advice Before Mother's Day

Baby Escapes Papoose for Dad Time!
I've always been told I'm a good mother. Of course that's not what my kids say. They think I'm embarrassing, but I'm just enjoying payback. How many times do or did your kids make you want to hide under a store clothing rack? Sometimes they'd humiliate me so much that I'd loudly announce, "Aunt Joyce is going to return you kids to your mama!"

Little did I predict, they now occasionally call me Aunt Joyce when in public.

Since my kids grew up to be fine adults, I'm allowed to give free parenting advice. First of all, the baby stage is the most important time for human development. Each day, I'd get up, get dressed, and strap my baby into a snuggle sack. I'd walk around all day with that baby attached to my chest like a papoose. While wearing my baby, I'd hug, kiss, and stroke a little back. This gave the young one security that let them know they were loved and cared for. That way, later on when I screwed up, they had the self esteem to handle it.

Later, I broke my back, probably from years of strain from constantly carrying babies, but I'd do the same thing all over again . . .  with regular visits to the chiropractor.

Another free tip: it is crucial for parents to be the adults in the family. I get so frustrated
Control your kids!
when I see moms or dads give in to whining or crying kids. For example, two years ago, a three or four year old ran onto a stage and disrupted a school talent show. The daddy chased that bad boy across the stage before catching him because the brat would not mind by coming when called. How appalling to be back stage and hear Dad repeatedly apologize to the kid because he couldn't be on stage! WTF? If he were my kid, he'd be in serious trouble for not listening. 

You're probably thinking I'd tear his butt up, but you're wrong. I never spanked or hit any of my kids. We used to press their noses against a wall for time out, take away toys or privileges, or worst of all, not let them brush their teeth! Actually, we only threatened to take away toothbrushing. That was scary enough to get the kids to do what we wanted without having to carry out the punishment.

These are only a few free tips, I have more, but posts should be short. So in conclusion, kiss those babies until their cheeks turn red, be the boss over your kids, and enjoying embarrassing your adult children. After twenty-one years of putting up with their crap, you'll have earned it.

12 comments:

Binky said...

You embarrass your parents when you're a kid, and your parents embarrass you when you're a teen. Seems like it's a pretty even game.

Adhi Das said...

Always very interesting to read ur posts..advanced happy mother's day to a good mother and teacher..God Bless u..Smiles:))

mail4rosey said...

All good tips. And yep, when you're kids are grown, happy, and well adjusted you're allowed to give out all of the advice you want. :) I'm half way there... two grown, two to go (the last one's gonna be awhile though). ;)

Talya Tate Boerner said...

Aunt Joyce - LOL!! I'm with you on the whiny kids and doormat parents. Ugh.

messymimi said...

My eldest is almost 23, and you are spot on!

mail4rosey said...

Back today to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. :)

Pat Hatt said...

haha embarrass them back indeed and yeah so many just give in to the whining

shelly said...

Not brush their teeth? LOL!

Angel The Alien said...

That is good advice! I get frustrated too when I see parents being like, "Johnny, sweetheart, come down off of this bookshelf, please. Could you please come down? Okay, then, be careful." I am a pretty mellow person and people often accuse me of not being strict enough with kids (the students I work with, I mean... I am not a parent as of yet) because a lot of things don't bother me. But there are two biggies I would never hesitate to enforce. 1. Safety (the child's, my own, and other people's or animal's.) 2. Respect/Kindness. If you keep yourself and others safe, and are kind and respectful to everyone around you, then I could care less if you do your worksheet standing up or walk backwards into the classroom (which are things I've been reprimanded about because I didn't reprimand the children for doing them!)

Rory Bore said...

gggrrr... you touched on one of my pet peeves. Be the parent - not their "buddy."
We actually heard one parent say, after watching their kid run amuck and basically be a chaotic, destructive little jerk, "he won't listen. whaddaya gonna do, right?"
Um, make him?
Just a thought.

I think I've jumped the gun on embarrassing them though - the oldest isn't even 10 years old yet and I've managed a few times.
haha

Sarah E. Albom said...

The embarrassing thing is a bit like a game- who can be humiliated this week? Nice post :)

Beate said...

What a great post! I don't have kids yet, but I'll keep your advice in mind, because I'm so annoyed by parents who are ruled by their kids all the time and I admire those who seem to have somewhat an idea of what they're doing. I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!