Motherly Advice Before Mother's Day

Baby Escapes Papoose for Dad Time!

I've always been told I'm a good mother. Of course that's not what my kids say. They think I'm embarrassing, but I'm just enjoying payback. How many times do or did your kids make you want to hide under a store clothing rack? Sometimes they'd humiliate me so much that I'd loudly announce, "Aunt Joyce is going to return you kids to your mama!"

Little did I predict, they now occasionally call me Aunt Joyce when in public.

Since my kids grew up to be fine adults, I'm allowed to give free parenting advice. First of all, the baby stage is the most important time for human development. Each day, I'd get up, get dressed, and strap my baby into a snuggle sack. I'd walk around all day with that baby attached to my chest like a papoose. While wearing my baby, I'd hug, kiss, and stroke a little back. This gave the young one security that let them know they were loved and cared for. That way, later on when I screwed up, they had the self esteem to handle it.

Later, I broke my back, probably from years of strain from constantly carrying babies, but I'd do the same thing all over again . . .  with regular visits to the chiropractor.

Another free tip: it is crucial for parents to be the adults in the family. I get so frustrated

Control your kids!

when I see moms or dads give in to whining or crying kids. For example, two years ago, a three or four year old ran onto a stage and disrupted a school talent show. The daddy chased that bad boy across the stage before catching him because the brat would not mind by coming when called. How appalling to be back stage and hear Dad repeatedly apologize to the kid because he couldn't be on stage! WTF? If he were my kid, he'd be in serious trouble for not listening. 

You're probably thinking I'd tear his butt up, but you're wrong. I never spanked or hit any of my kids. We used to press their noses against a wall for time out, take away toys or privileges, or worst of all, not let them brush their teeth! Actually, we only threatened to take away toothbrushing. That was scary enough to get the kids to do what we wanted without having to carry out the punishment.

These are only a few free tips, I have more, but posts should be short. So in conclusion, kiss those babies until their cheeks turn red, be the boss over your kids, and enjoying embarrassing your adult children. After twenty-one years of putting up with their crap, you'll have earned it.