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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life & Teaching"
Showing posts with label Shabbat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shabbat. Show all posts

Thursday, April 11, 2013

#AtoZ: J - Jewish Holidays

Here's my Reader's Digest breakdown of Jewish holidays.

Shabbat - We survived week without being killed. Let's eat.

Sukkot - Egyptians tried to kill us. We wandered in desert for forty years. We survived. Let's eat in cute, little huts in our backyards.

Simchat Torah - We finished reading stories about people trying to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Chanukah - Assyrians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Purim - Persians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Passover - Egyptians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat tasteless food that causes gas.

Rosh Hashona - We survived year without being killed. Let's eat.

Yom Kippur - We've committed sins, such as gluttony. We won't eat all day. Let's eat at sundown.


There are a multitude of days that are 
too horrible to joke about or even to eat, 
but we will always remember.


Saturday, April 14, 2012

#AtoZ : Melting

I grew up in a Reform Jewish family in a secular community of St. Louis, yet someone near and dear to me has made the shift to Orthodoxy. During his transition to the religious life style, I flew into an airport on a Friday night, which is our Sabbath. He who shall not be named drove his car to the airport and picked me up. When we reached our destination, an ice cream cake was waiting for the birthday boy who had just driven a car. He refused to blow out the candles on his cake because it was the Sabbath, so we watched the cake melt all over the table.



To make matters worse, I'm posting about this on a Saturday, our Sabbath. If you don't see my post on Monday, you can assume God struck me dead from  a bolt of lightning.

I close with a re-post of one of my faves.