Musical Monday: The High Holidays

Happy New Year

5774

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#AtoZ: J - Jewish Holidays

Here's my Reader's Digest breakdown of Jewish holidays.

Shabbat - We survived week without being killed. Let's eat.

Sukkot - Egyptians tried to kill us. We wandered in desert for forty years. We survived. Let's eat in cute, little huts in our backyards.

Simchat Torah - We finished reading stories about people trying to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Chanukah - Assyrians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Purim - Persians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Passover - Egyptians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat tasteless food that causes gas.

Rosh Hashona - We survived year without being killed. Let's eat.

Yom Kippur - We've committed sins, such as gluttony. We won't eat all day. Let's eat at sundown.

There are a multitude of days that are 

too horrible to joke about or even to eat, 

but we will always remember.

Passover Quiz

It's almost Passover and to help celebrate, here is a quiz where you can test your knowledge about this  pain in the a$#  Jewish holiday.

1.) Which traditional food is on the seder plate

      A.)  Chinese egg rolls (like we eat on Christmas)                     

      B.)  Matzah balls

      C.)  Haroset

      D.)  Ham & cheese sandwiches                                                                                                                                  

2.)  How do Jews prepare for Passover?

     A.)  Clean ovens, refrigerators, and spray Windex on flies

     B.)  Ritual fast of the first borns (Ha, ha, he who must not be named)

     C.)  Lug Passover dishes and kitchen supplies out of the attic

     D.)  All of the above

3.)  Matzah is called the bread of affliction because

     A.)  It causes Jews intestinal discomfort after eating it all week

     B.)  Slaves did not have time to finish baking bread when they ran away

     C.)  To punish Jews for all sins committed throughout the past year

     D.)  It tastes bad

4.)  The four questions are read by

     A.) The kid who can drink a cup of wine the fastest

     B.) The first kid to grab the Haggadah

     C.) The oldest kid in the family

     D.) The youngest kid in the family

 

 The Dry Bones Haggadah

Answers: 1.) C  2.)  D  3.) B  4.)  D

If you got all four questions correct, you may be a member of the tribe. :)