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Thursday, April 11, 2013

#AtoZ: J - Jewish Holidays

Here's my Reader's Digest breakdown of Jewish holidays.

Shabbat - We survived week without being killed. Let's eat.

Sukkot - Egyptians tried to kill us. We wandered in desert for forty years. We survived. Let's eat in cute, little huts in our backyards.

Simchat Torah - We finished reading stories about people trying to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Chanukah - Assyrians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Purim - Persians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Passover - Egyptians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat tasteless food that causes gas.

Rosh Hashona - We survived year without being killed. Let's eat.

Yom Kippur - We've committed sins, such as gluttony. We won't eat all day. Let's eat at sundown.


There are a multitude of days that are 
too horrible to joke about or even to eat, 
but we will always remember.


29 comments:

Grace Grits and Gardening said...

Great review for a Methodist like me. Now I'm hungry!

Jenn said...

Joyce-- I see a running theme here... :) LOL!

LA Nickers said...

That's hilarious.
Visiting from GBE 2: Blog On group.

Unknown said...

Sounds like a lot of celebrating for survival and lots of reason to eat!

Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

Theresa Mahoney said...

When's Dinner?

mail4rosey said...

LOL! So as long as we bring food, we're good. :)

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I loved this...let's eat!! :)

Anonymous said...

Very funny description of the Jewish holidays--should help me to remember them! LOL Irwin--nice name....

Helen Baggott said...

Clever post - very entertaining and then you pull at the heart with your final sentence.

Amy Morgan said...

My family is not Jewish, yet the similarity is that there is ALWAYS occasion to eat, so it all seems vaguely familiar.

Susan Scott said...

Very funny thank you! Eating solves everything didn't you know? Your Mama, grandma, greatgrandma must have told you and you know that mothers are ALWAYS RIGHT?
Susan Scott's Soul Stuff

Unknown said...

Very cute and funny! Nice contrast to the touching quote at the end.

Cattitude and Gratitude

Unknown said...

It does seem strange that we eat as a way to celebrate. Thanks for sharing this interesting post.

Unknown said...

Great post! Hilarious as ever :)

Lorinda J Taylor said...

For about three months a few years back I immersed myself in a study of Judaism, so I really appreciate this. I just want to say, it's the survival that really matters and that fills me with admiration. Also the humor!
Not long ago, a piece in our newspaper featured the Purim festival. One picture showed the local Rabbi dressed up in a Superman costume, wearing his kippah and eating pizza! Loved it!

Anonymous said...

This run down of Jewish holidays was amazing! There is an annual Jewish festival in Carmel Valley. I think I'll go next year and eat! My father-in-law is Jewish, so I have made Matzo Ball soup, latkes and cabbage rolls. Yummy!

Kitties Blue said...

I shared this with my (Jewish) husband of 40 years. We both were LOL. That's for sharing. Janet

Cova said...

Love it! :)

Cerrillos Sandy said...

Love this, Joyce! In the Baptist church . . . we eat, too!! Thanks for your comment on my post today. I love being blogger friends with you!

NanaHood said...

Joyce, this is great! I think all religions revolve around food, don't they? Thanks for linking up at NanaHood! You rock!

DL Hammons said...

If I convert, can we eat? :)

Anonymous said...

Surviving is reason to celebrate, and what is a celebration without food? Personally, I require copious amounts of sugar as a part of all holidays.

(I came by way of Nanahood.)

Binky said...

I approve of eating holidays!

Bob Sanchez said...

Thank you for your explanation of Jewish holidays. Surviving and eating are two of my fondest pleasures.

P.S. Yes, your dog is much cuter than a javelina. Tell it I said "woof."

Cynthia said...

Hello from A to Z...I'd be curious to know what you'd eat for each of those holidays!

stevebethere said...

LOL that was amusing but I will give you a small tip Joyce you should cut down on the eating it's not good for you :mrgreen:

Have a brilliant weekend and don't forget my tip :-)

Now let's eat

Catch My Words said...

Shabbat - nice family dinner (meat or chicken)
Sukkot - festive family dinner outside each meal - honey cake
Simchat Torah - same
Chanukkah - family dinner with latkes (potato pancakes)
Purim - same with hamantoshin (fruit filled pastries), wine. One is supposed to get so drunk you don't know Haman (villain) from King Ahausuarus. (Good guy)
Passover - Festive meal, matza, parsley, matza ball soup, gefilte fish, chopped eggs, charosis (apples, nuts, wine, honey), four cups of wine
Rosh Hashona - same with apples & honey
Yom Kippur - fast day, we break it with breakfast foods, egg casseroles, fish, cheese, blintzes, noodle keugel

Plus, all those recipes grandma used to make.

Rhonda Albom said...

Funny and so true. Love your added comment just above. Makes me hungry, let's eat.

The Semi Madman! said...

Food and Religion. You can't have one without the other!