One can define kid speak with the help of Urban Dictionary. To tap into this wealth of information, just enter a word, and the definition pops up.
For example, neathage is the opposite of cleavage. I didn't even know there was a word for a woman's boob hanging out from the bottom of her shirt.
Or an Introdouche is someone who introduces himself by bragging about useless accomplishments. You can also achieve introdouche status by introducing your girlfriend as a "friend."
Furthermore, spend some time with Urban Dictionary, and you'll find gazillion different types of boogers: phantom, bloody, leaf, runaway, happy, ten dollar, ingrown, bat, or cape––the list goes on and on.
So whether you want to achieve coolness or to understand what your son means when he asks you to text poon to his friend, check out Urban Dictionary.