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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
Showing posts with label binge shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label binge shopping. Show all posts

Friday, September 9, 2011

Writer's Post: It's About Time

Many folks fuss about how they never have enough time; and if they only had more, they'd _(fill in the blank)_. But in reality, we've met people who have plenty of time, and here's a break down of who they are.

The Hypochondriac

With massive amounts of time, this person frequently visits Dr. Google to learn about obscure illnesses they'll never getNext, they pop pills and revisit Dr. Google to figure out how to treat these diseases. Who needs real doctors to tell you you're well when you have Dr. Google around?

The Binger

When faced with nothing better to do, one will snack until the body looks like the hippo at the zoo. Then they'll find themselves running behind the fit runners just like a character from the stampede scene in "Jumanji."

The Shopper

When my mother–of blessed memory–grew old, she'd fill her time cruising the shopping malls only to return her purchases the next day. Hey! It gave her something to do.

The Pest

When busy, we don't notice little annoyances or choose not to address them because we don't have time; but in reality, most of these "problems" don't need attention. However, children certainly need an adult to hover over them and make sure they grow up  right. After all, why should they be left to solve their own problems when they have a perfectly bored mother? Mrs. Fix It will lend an overbearing hand to help everyone with their problems.

So in conclusion, I have all the time I need. With more, I'm sure I'd be 100% annoying instead of mildly obnoxious.

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Beyond the Limits of My Fridge

This week's Writer's Post Blog Hop #11 
Beyond the Limits

It's soooo big, it takes a moving van to bring it home.

My mind probably isn't going where Jenn intended, but why should this week be different than any other?

I just got back from Costco's where I was supposed to do two things: (1) Take back the pants in the backseat of my car that are too big and (2) Buy candy for my class. Of course I did neither. I remembered the pants while strolling out the door, but with Memphis' 91* weather, I decided my fudge bars wouldn't appreciate alone time in the trunk.

The infamous "they" say to never shop when hungry, and Mr. They is right! I bought strawberries, blueberries, a massive package of pizza rolls all because I was hungry and it looked good . . . even though these things go "beyond the limits" of what my fridge holds. 

To make room, I could throw out the moldy something in the back, a jar of pickle relish (everyone here hates sweet pickles), or the half-eaten yogurt that's probably reproduced since it contains "Live Cultures." What does live cultures mean anyway? 

The item that really goes beyond our limits is the big a$$ pizza I bought--pesto, tomatoes, chunks of whitish-yellow cheese, and green leafy things. Yum! Never mind the fact that our household is down to two. It looked good, and repeat after me: I was hungry.

This Costco pizza is sooooo huge, it goes beyond the limits of my fridge and must move directly from car to oven; but, Houston we have a problem. When I tried to lift it into the oven, it cracked on the side and rained chunks of cheese, tomatoes, and those leafy green things onto the rack and beyond. So here I was, scooping up sizzling ingredients off the bottom of the oven. No doubt, it will stick, burn, and make a horrid mess. 

Will I buy it again? Probably. 
Why? Because One day I'll be hungry! 

Thanks for stopping by. Please leave a comment, (((hugs))), and a click on the picket fence. And if you're in town, stop by for some pizza . . . unless, burp! Maybe I should keep the pants that are too big.