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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts

Thursday, November 20, 2014

A Letter to Santa

                                                                                                                         November 20, 2014

Dear Santa,

            I know it’s usually kids who write to you, so I hope you don’t mind getting a letter from me. I just have a few things to talk to you about. First off, I have a question about your reindeers. Are reindeers natural flyers or do you do something magical to make them fly? If it’s a magic something, could you do it to other animals, like dogs? I think it would be pretty cool if you could make my dogs fly because when I let them out to pee, they end up digging in the dirt and tracking mud into the house.  If I could fly my dogs outside, they could pee from the air? I wonder if they’d still squat. But, I digress.
            Santa, I’m missing my fifth graders from last year. They were so much fun, and they knew how to sit still. The kids I have this year are WILD, especially the younger kids. Although it's not their fault, second grade has been a challenge because I have fourteen kids in a room that’s not much larger than those chimneys you slide down. Okay, I exaggerate, unless we’re talking about the fireplaces in Beverly Hills. Anyway, these sweet kids constantly wiggle in such a way that you’d think the room was filled with mice from the squeaking chairs. Someone is always humming, muttering, or tilting.
            One week, two kids who were “sitting” in their chairs bumped heads. Today, when gathered on the carpet, a kid started crying and his nose was bleeding. In trying to figure out what had happened, we discovered that he accidentally kneed himself in the nose. To make matters worse, a little coal gatherer secretly made fun of him by pretending to whack himself in the nose with his knee. As the teacher, I firmly told him to stop. But I confess, I then did everything I could to keep from bursting out laughing. Success!

            So Santa, for Christmas, I was wondering if you could help me to calm the kids down by supplying Ritalin licks on the playground. Not that I want to drug my kids, but maybe they could just get a shot of something to settle down. Okay. I guess that might be a bad idea, so instead maybe you could get something to help me to calm down?
            Have a very Merry Christmas and hug all your elves for me.


P.S. Don't forget to enter my contest to win a free watch. I know you need to keep track of time. The link is at the top of the blog.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Ghost Stories: The Plaid Shirt

This week's theme for The Writer's Post Thursday Blog Hop #85 is Ghost Stories. You may post about any weird or fun adventure that you or a friend experienced. Or if you'd like, make one up. When finished, please link your post back here at Catch My Words and link up on the Writer's Post Facebook page. Happy haunting! 

After back surgery, the simple act of rolling over was a painful feat. However a ghostly friend chose to help. As I faced sideways, an image
of an almost bald man, with a pleasant smile and a red plaid shirt, floated next to my bed. Without moving his lips, he asked me if I wanted to roll over. I telepathically told him, "Yes." He then floated downward until he disappeared. Once he was gone, I easily rolled to my other side.

The next day, I told my sister about my ghostly visitor. She too had seen this dude in her room one night. Doo doo doo. Was I dreaming? Maybe, but how did I easily turn over? Why had my sister seen the same man? Perhaps he was a ghost from a past life we shared or maybe I'm just crazy.