Seven Wonders

Week #8—What are your 7 Wonders?

This week, the Writer's Post group has asked me to blog about "My Seven Wonders of the World." Long ago I wrote posts on the The Eighth Wonder of My World and Nudity and the Ninth Wonder of My World, since the seven wonders were already known. Please check these out if you get a chance.

Keeping with the assignment, here are my wonders from the serious to the silly.

Far from home. :(

1.) Where has time gone?

 My summer vacation is over, my youngest child leaves for college on Saturday, and I'll be fifty in December. Holy crap! Seems like yesterday I was riding my bike and getting in trouble for talking too much in school.

2.) Why do people allow themselves to be fooled by idiot politicians?

I remember a story from the Onion years back where they interviewed indigent people waiting in line to cast votes. The quote went something like this:

I ain't got no health care nor dental insurance, but it's gonna be alright because we have a God fearing man as president.

Our Lovable Rescue Rat

3.) How can some people not like dogs?
No one in the world gives me the unconditional love of my furry friends. Nor do people try to lick my face, Thank God.

4.) Why do people make fun of nerds?

As I've told my daughters, if you want a good life, marry a nerd. They are smart, kind, and will never let you down. I have a special love for the nerdy little kids in my gifted program, but believe it or not, true nerds are rare.

 In the spirit of Emma Lazarus, 

here is my adaptation of her poem:

"Give me your nerdy, your social inept,
Your huddled dorks yearning to excel,
The social refuse from cool kids.
Send these, the smart, tempest-tost gamers to me,
I lift my arms beside the classroom door!"

Although I posted the link below not long ago, it's a fave so here it goes again for those who missed it the first time.

Comedy Cental Hoodwinker

iris

5.) What's with the irises in my yard?

Last year they didn't bloom at all, while the year before they were splendid. Maybe they're tied to my mood or God-forbid the economy . . . which means I might not see them for thirty years--which bites because I'll be dead by then.

6.) Why do my feet dry out?

I'm forever saturating my piggies with lotions and lubricants, but danggummit, them scales keep comin'.


7.) Why do some people (not to mention names - Mitchell Lansky) put toilet paper rolls in backwards? The paper should come from the top! Enough said.

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Dating Nerds

Revenge of the Nerds

Do you remember the poster, are you a nerd? Arrows pointed to different spots of the nerd photograph making sure to point out the pocket protector, tape on glasses, high-water pants, etc., etc. Way back when, I went out with this guy. It was a blind date, but unfortunately I wasn't blind. The nerd kept trying to put his awkward little arm around my shoulders and a car load of "cool" guys even drove by pointing and laughing.

The clincher at the end of the evening was the dead fly in his ear. No, I didn't make this up. After we got our food (he ordered peaches and cottage cheese), I noticed the little insect that lay on its wings with bent legs folded up into his greasy ear canal. I lost my appetite. 

Who knows? He may be the CEO of some multi-million dollar corporation right now, but it's not worth it. Gross! Here's a link to one of my favorite nerd videos staring Dimitri Martin. It's great so check it out!

Comedy Central - Hoodwinkers

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