#AtoZ: L is For Lansky

I married a Lansky–Mitchell Lansky–and today is his birthday; however, I decided I should write with caution or next year I could be advertising a new wife for him. Besides, his grandfather's name was Meyer. When in college, a professor asked Mitchell if he was related to Meyer Lansky, the infamous gangster of Mafia fame. Mitchell said, "Do you want to make something of it?" This shut the professor up.

Of course, Meyer was the grandfather on his mother's side, who was not the infamous Meyer Lansky. As far as I know, there is no relation.

Happy birthday to my wonderful husband who puts up with me!

#AtoZ: K - Kids And A Lockdown - Not Funny

I failed the lockdown at school last week. This drill is meant to teach us what to do if a gunman enters the building. While I flushed a toilet, someone said, "Lockdown," over the intercom. All doors slammed shut and locked to keep intruders out. Of course, I didn't hear the announcement and wandered carefree down the quiet hall. When I saw my administrator, I said, "Oh. I see you changed shoes," because earlier that day, she wore adorable, yellow duck shoes for the rainy bus duty.

She said, "You know we're in a lockdown?"

I said, "No."

Next, I tore down the hall looking for a place to hide. Finally, I knocked on the nurse's door. Allison wondered if this was a test, but opened anyway and let me in. We had a delightful visit while waiting for the drill to end.

After the lockdown, several staff members and I chatted in the office. My administrator asked what I did. When I told her, she said, "You are casualty number one, and Allison is casualty number two." Then she spilled out the gruesome truth about school shootings. Apparently, crazies will grab a kid and have him or her knock on doors.  

"Let me in! Let me in!" 

It is our job to ignore the frightened child in order to save the class. How does one ignore a scared voice? Dear God, I pray I am never in that situation.

#AtoZ: J - Jewish Holidays

Here's my Reader's Digest breakdown of Jewish holidays.

Shabbat - We survived week without being killed. Let's eat.

Sukkot - Egyptians tried to kill us. We wandered in desert for forty years. We survived. Let's eat in cute, little huts in our backyards.

Simchat Torah - We finished reading stories about people trying to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Chanukah - Assyrians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Purim - Persians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat.

Passover - Egyptians tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat tasteless food that causes gas.

Rosh Hashona - We survived year without being killed. Let's eat.

Yom Kippur - We've committed sins, such as gluttony. We won't eat all day. Let's eat at sundown.

There are a multitude of days that are 

too horrible to joke about or even to eat, 

but we will always remember.