#GBE2: Mirror Report

Although mirrors have been around since about 400 BCE, the queen's magic mirror in the Snow White story is one of the most famous of all. In case you forgot, everyday the queen gazed into the mirror and asked who is the fairest one of all. Then that crazy lady would get upset because the mirror said, "Snow White is the fairest."

The Unfair Queen

Now come on! Let's think about this. She cheats at everything she does AND poisons an apple, yet she gets upset when the mirror says she's not fair? When has the queen ever been fair? And why would someone who cons people as much as her expect the mirror to say, "Yes. Your highness, you are the fairest one of all." I bet this lady even killed Snow White's real mom to marry the king. I can't prove it, but she's got those sneaky little eyes like someone who stacks extra aces in her bra every time she plays cards.

Now take Snow White. She's different from the queen. Sure, she broke into the short mens' home, but at least she cleaned up the place. Vacuumed, mopped the floor, cleaned the crumb caked dishes--heck. If someone wanted to break into my house to clean it, I wouldn't complain. Sounds fair to me. She even bakes pies.

However, there is nothing fair about her evil step mother! I bet she never baked a pie for anyone in her life. If she wanted to be called the fairest, all she had to do was–

WHAT? I'm sorry dear readers, but this lady who looks like Jane Curtain keeps interrupting me.

No. My name is not Roseanne Roseannadanna. I have dark frizzy hair, but I'm not her.

What do you mean the word "fairest" means beautiful?

Oh.

Hmm.

B*tch.

I miss you Gilda!

Silly Sunday: Death

Writer's Post: Internal Affairs

This picture plus the words "Internal Affairs" is the prompt for this week's writer's post.



After the trip down The Wizard of Oz's Yellow Brick Road, Tin Man had finally gotten a heart. Possession wasn't good enough because a heart belongs in the chest taking care of internal affairs while banging life throughout the body.

So, Tin Man opened wide and swallowed the heart charms. Unfortunately, it didn't attach to his chest nor stop between non-existent lungs. The charms tumbled to the floor of his bodily barrel and made horrendous rattles every time he moved. Plus, that silly little charm tickled.

The Tin Man visited Scarecrow, who had an incredible brain, and asked him how to fix the problem. Scarecrow suggested he see an auto mechanic in Kansas. They asked Lion to come with them, but he was too scared of the noisy shop, so Tin Man and Scarecrow traveled down the flat roads by themselves.

When they reached the shop, the mechanic pulled out his power tools which sang a cheerful tune while opening the Tin Man like a can of tuna fish. At which time Toto darted into the shop and snatched the charm in his doggy lips. Dorothy pried the furry rat's mouth open until the heart dropped to the ground and broke.

After that, Tin Man not only had a rip in his chest but was also heartless.