#GBE2: Mirror Report

Although mirrors have been around since about 400 BCE, the queen's magic mirror in the Snow White story is one of the most famous of all. In case you forgot, everyday the queen gazed into the mirror and asked who is the fairest one of all. Then that crazy lady would get upset because the mirror said, "Snow White is the fairest."

The Unfair Queen

Now come on! Let's think about this. She cheats at everything she does AND poisons an apple, yet she gets upset when the mirror says she's not fair? When has the queen ever been fair? And why would someone who cons people as much as her expect the mirror to say, "Yes. Your highness, you are the fairest one of all." I bet this lady even killed Snow White's real mom to marry the king. I can't prove it, but she's got those sneaky little eyes like someone who stacks extra aces in her bra every time she plays cards.

Now take Snow White. She's different from the queen. Sure, she broke into the short mens' home, but at least she cleaned up the place. Vacuumed, mopped the floor, cleaned the crumb caked dishes--heck. If someone wanted to break into my house to clean it, I wouldn't complain. Sounds fair to me. She even bakes pies.

However, there is nothing fair about her evil step mother! I bet she never baked a pie for anyone in her life. If she wanted to be called the fairest, all she had to do was–

WHAT? I'm sorry dear readers, but this lady who looks like Jane Curtain keeps interrupting me.

No. My name is not Roseanne Roseannadanna. I have dark frizzy hair, but I'm not her.

What do you mean the word "fairest" means beautiful?

Oh.

Hmm.

B*tch.

I miss you Gilda!

#GBE2: Safe Haven

When I was a little girl, my friends and I would often build mini safe havens in the den. We'd place chairs, TV trays, ottomans or anything else we could find at odd angles and then cover them with blankets to make a mini burrow that we'd crawl through. Next, feeling as if we were in our own private place, we'd play inside the blanketed house. It was great as long as no one farted. ;-)

Safe Haven? Yeah, right!

I don't remember my kids doing this (I'm talking about building tent houses, not farting). In fact, the only time I'd ever seen a blanketed safe haven, other than mine, was in the movie Sixth Sense when Haley Joel Osment tried to escape his ghostly visitors. Ironically, he never felt as safe in his safe haven as we did in ours. Maybe ghosts had filled our blanketed hutch too, but would this be a bad thing? After all, without a body, one cannot pass gas. I would think it would be a blessing to be with ghosts and here's a second reason why.

Friday night, my husband and I enjoyed a community dinner in a sukkah. The story behind the sukkah is that anyone from the past is invited to join us there. With the rabbi's nudging, several guests mentioned who they'd like to invite to dinner. First I wanted to invite my parents, but I also would have enjoyed dinner with Gilda Radner in her Roseanna Roseanna Dana get up. I always liked comical ghosts instead of spooky ones. My parents were also quite funny, so they would have fit right in with Gilda in this sukkah safe haven complete with ghosts. What could be safer than a homemade structure with lost loved ones?