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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life" Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor- Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor -Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

#AtoZ Meets #WW: Z for Zombies!


I worry about my daughter.


She wears too much makeup.



Plus, she's been chasing after men.



I think she's in with the wrong crowd.



Sunday, April 28, 2013

#AtoZ Meets Musical Monday Y for Yankovic Sings YODA

Humor blogger I am, hmm. Now day Y it is so an old favorite by Weird Al Yankovic, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda I present.



Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
--YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace



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Saturday, April 27, 2013

#AtoZ X for eXpelling Gas

My son summed it best in eight grade when he said, "When I was in sixth grade and someone farted, it wasn't funny, but now it's hilarious!"

What is it about eXpelling gas, a normal function of the human body, that make so many chuckle? The average person farts ten times a day. That's average. Of course statistically, one could find a range of 287, so to be accurate, wouldn't we need to know the mode and median too? For example, although the mean is ten, maybe most
people only fart nine times per day; however, the day of the count, Rush Limbaugh farted 264 times. Would he be considered an outlier or did he mess up the whole dang curve?

Is there an Institute of Fartology? If so, who works there?

"My name is Dr. Jones, and I count farts for a living." I bet he's the life of the party! A real gas if you know what I mean.

Furthermore, do these statistics count dead guys? A friend who's an undertaker told me that dead people constantly eXpel gas; however, this gas doesn't just exit from below. It could sneak out of a joint causing a sudden flip of a wrist or foot twitch. I wonder, does cadaver gas smell better, worse, or the same as living farts? I'll have to ask my friend. It just goes to show, we still have a lot of research to do in this scientific field.