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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Thursday, April 17, 2014

#AtoZ : Passover (Plague of Blood and Monthly Bloating)

Once I was a slave in Egypt. (If I didn't admit to having been a slave, I'd be the wicked son in the story we tell every year about Pharoah enslaving us.) Moses asked Pharoah to let us go, but he said, "Nada!" 

So God smote the Egyptians with a bunch of nasty plagues. For example Pharoah once in his bed, awoken with frogs on his head; frogs on his pillow, frogs on his toes, frogs on his shoulders, and frogs on his nose. At least that's what the song says. 

He also heard locust––annoying insects hopping around, boils––worse than bad acne, and blood––not the kind that comes each month, but that would have been a better punishment for a guy. I'd have given him cramps, bloating, and moodiness, too. There's many more plagues, but let's keep this short.

Jews aren't supposed to celebrate anyone's hardships, so we spill a drop of wine for each plague, and suffer from less wine. But all is cool. We get four cups at the seder. 

Returning to the story, the Jews left Egypt while baking bread. As a result, it didn't have time to rise and we have to eat tasteless, flat stuff that gives us gas. That's the Joyce's Digest version of Passover.

Your welcome.


Anonymous said...

Joyce, this was an amazing version of Passover. Loved it! By the way, Happy Passover!

Suzy said...

Enjoyed the passover frogs jumping everywhere.

mail4rosey said...

I saw a blogger talking about chocolate covered Matzo and how amazing it is. Tried it?

Binky said...

I always enjoy learning things from scholarly sources like you.

J Lenni Dorner said...

Fantastic post. A very good quick summary. I like it.

Stopping by from the #atozchallenge !

(Ancestor of the slaves of Lord de la warr - or Delaware, as history later called him.)

Debbie D. said...

Hahaha! Love your comedic look at Passover. Despite that, I hope you had a good holiday. ☺

LA Botchar said...

LOL - I gotta learn that song. awesome.

Rhonda Albom said...

Now that's a version of the story I hadn't quite heard before.