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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
Showing posts with label #AtoZchallenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #AtoZchallenge. Show all posts

Thursday, May 1, 2014

The A - Z Challenge

Hurry. Hurry. Post each day.
We post each day until it's May.

I done it once,
I done it twice,
I definitely have done it thrice.

Maybe I've even done it four.
It's got me shouting, "No more! No more!"

It's not that A to Z isn't fun.
It's a game to be played by everyone.

However, now that I've had my fun each year.
The time has come to make it clear . . .

I'm done.

It's hard to believe on my first year,
Daily April posting was so dear.
I had so much fun that I must say,
I posted Z - A in May.

I guess I'm getting older, folks.
Not enough time to read your jokes.
To not visit another blog,
makes me feel like an A-Z hog.

So my mind's made up on this day,
I'm through with this April game to play.

If next year I should sign the list,


Sunday, April 27, 2014

#MM & #AtoZ X for Xanadu

Remember Olivia Newton John in Xanadu? 
Great music but movie, not so much.

That's me!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Saturday, April 26, 2014

#AtoZ : W for Winning

"We're going to the tournament to have fun. 
The way you have fun is you win!"
                                             ~Richard Bute    
Memphis Futbol Club Soccer Coach

Every year our city celebrates Memphis in May where we honor a country and teach students about a foreign land. This year the country of honor is Panama. I attended a teacher's conference and presented my students with interesting facts about Panama so that they could enter the Memphis in May writer's contest. Not to brag, but I typically have a winner of this contest each year. This year, I was blessed with two winners! 

Second Prize went to Lauren for her story about painting the golden altar in Panama black to keep
pirate Captain Henry Morgan from stealing it from the church. Her story was rich with historic detail and smoothly written; however, other than giving her the background information, I can't take credit for her writing ability. She entered my class a few months ago, so I have not had a lot of time to develop her writing.

Santiago, my first place winner, came to my class close to the beginning of the year and was not the writer he is now, so I'll take credit for his success. His early writing was cluttered with boring "be" verbs that he has learned to replace with his rich vocabulary. This is a kid who reads constantly, and as a result, his vocabulary is better than that of most adults. He has also learned to use multiple senses in his writing and strong descriptive nouns. I am kicking myself for not saving his early work because it would be a great artifact for my professional development evaluation. 

Here is the first paragraph from his winning entry. It's hard to believe that this was written by a fifth grader.

The Hunt

     Crawling close to the ground, I stalked my prey. I got as close as I could. Then I lunged and with a quick snap of my jaws, the bird was dead. It tasted as sweet as the juice that came from a monkey's meat. I padded my way back to my home, a rocky overhang curtained with leaves; my prize hanging from my mouth. As I sprinted my way back home, my spotted coat blended in the shadows caused by the leafy canopy. The sweet fragrance of the star-shaped flowers wafted around me. The meaty taste of prey filled my hunger. I was home.

We enter contests for fun, but it is most fun to win!

Monday, April 21, 2014

#AtoZ: I'm Going to Be Sagging Soon!

It's been a long time coming, but I finally can see myself sagging. To really sag a lot, I must spend time around an abundance of food, such as cookies, crackers, fruits, and gels. Maybe, one day I'll sag more than anyone in town.

But I wish I didn't have to sag in the early morning hours. 

Whatever it takes to support Superman as he leads the training for the Century 100 Mile Ride, again. Did you think I was talking about my body sagging? Ha! I'd rather bike than sag, but the cars passing close on the road scare me enough to wet my pants. So I'll just sag.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

#AtoZ Musical Tribute Brought to You by The Letter 'R'

Reo Speedwagon
"Ridin' the Storm Out"

Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Right on Time"

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

#AtoZ : Passover (Plague of Blood and Monthly Bloating)

Once I was a slave in Egypt. (If I didn't admit to having been a slave, I'd be the wicked son in the story we tell every year about Pharoah enslaving us.) Moses asked Pharoah to let us go, but he said, "Nada!" 

So God smote the Egyptians with a bunch of nasty plagues. For example Pharoah once in his bed, awoken with frogs on his head; frogs on his pillow, frogs on his toes, frogs on his shoulders, and frogs on his nose. At least that's what the song says. 

He also heard locust––annoying insects hopping around, boils––worse than bad acne, and blood––not the kind that comes each month, but that would have been a better punishment for a guy. I'd have given him cramps, bloating, and moodiness, too. There's many more plagues, but let's keep this short.

Jews aren't supposed to celebrate anyone's hardships, so we spill a drop of wine for each plague, and suffer from less wine. But all is cool. We get four cups at the seder. 

Returning to the story, the Jews left Egypt while baking bread. As a result, it didn't have time to rise and we have to eat tasteless, flat stuff that gives us gas. That's the Joyce's Digest version of Passover.

Your welcome.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

#AtoZ : I am Not Spoilt!

This morning, my middle child posted a Facebook Buzz Feed Article called,  Were You A Spoilt Child? Readers are asked to tick off everything they owned from Slip 'N Slides to a Darts Board. At the end of the test, the post will tell you whether or not you were spoiled.

The following conversation ensued: 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

#AtoZ: Favorite Son Returns - Letter F

Happy Birthday to Daniel
My Favorite Son

Me at 26 with Daniel

It's April 6th, and here's the post you've all been waiting for: a recap on my favorite son's lovelife. One year later, and he's still single. Some of you may remember my post on his birthday last year, where I advertised to find him a wife. I actually survived the post and am ready to celebrate his birthday number 26. On my birthday 26, I was married and expecting Daniel. 

On the bright side, Daniel has a girlfriend, and I actually like her. She is blond and beautiful (of course), and she is not afraid of me . . . yet. This girl has a great personality and is fun to talk to. On the Jewish issue, we're halfway there, but it's the Dad half. I wonder if she'd convert? She's also smart. She's working on a Master's Degree at Vanderbilt. And guess what else? She actually reads my blog! So, am I in trouble again this year?

I figure my last year's post wasn't that bad because Daniel has shown it to everyone and their kid brother. If you missed it, you'll have to check it out and see what you think: Last Year's Mom Fail. I'm sure you'll laugh.

On the down side, Daniel's girlfriend has a mustache. I guess it's okay if she doesn't spill food in it when she eats.

Since it's time for Musical Monday, I will leave you with "Danny's Song." We started his Bar Mitzvah video with this very same tune.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Friday, April 4, 2014

#AtoZ E - Enough Dang Gummit!

In a 5-4 vote, our fair and impartial Supreme Court decided to allow rich people to buy elections. You can just guess how these folks voted. I have lost all respect for the justices on the Supreme Court. 

Now that there is no ceiling on what billionaires can spend on their candidates, two things could happen.

1.) Peggy Lee's vision of the rich getting richer (and the middle class disappearing). Forget about our environment or programs for the have nots. The rich will make sure to elect those to protect their interests and screw everyone else.


2.) Billionaires will waste their money on failed campaigns, and I will laugh!

Let's hope for #2!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: H for Honey Bear

Enough Honey Bear!

Friday, April 5, 2013

#AtoZ : E - Engineers The Dam Kind

There are a lot of great fields to study, but it would be best to be a dam engineer. Dam people earn a lot of money for dam jobs. Plus, dam engineers gain respect for dam work. I bet they even get dam awards. 

Furthermore, dam engineers will help you with your dam property or will construct a dam, unlike others who won't give a dam. Just ask dam scientists for help, and they will draw a dam plan. Plus, they care about dam safety enough to form dam societies. Did you know there are societies for the dam British and the dam Americans?

Unfortunately, sometimes dam construction can interfere with people's lives due to dam flaws; however, I'm sure dam engineers will successfully fix dam problems.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

#AtoZ: D - Driving Prank

Watch this hysterical video!


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: #AtoZ Bows

Today's Wordless Wednesday is brought to you by the letter B.

Honey Bow Bow

You can do what you want to me because I only weigh 25 pounds.

Tough girl doesn't look so tough today.


Friday, April 27, 2012

#AtoZ : X - Stolen Innocence

B and I were in sixth grade and headed to the playground. On the way down the sidewalk, a man sitting on a stump asked for directions to Wilson School. Harmless enough.

Hot dogs
Next, the man mentioned how it was hot outside and wanted to know if we'd ever seen a man "do this" before. He unzipped his pants and pulled out something that looked like the end of a thick, uncooked hot dog without the ketchup, mustard, or even a bun.

While my friend stood gaping, I took off running. So, if a man ever asks me that question again, I will say, "Yes."

I bet you'll never look at hot dogs the same way again.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

#AtoZ : The Wabbit from Warner Brothers

For W, I came close to writing a post about our former president because there is plenty of humor surrounding him; however, I chose not to upset half my reading population with my politics. So, here's a post about someone more intelligent: The Warner Brother's Wabbit.

Who does not know and love that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny? Although I've always been one who likes to sleep in, Bugs was worth getting up early for on a Saturday morning. Not only do I love his cleverness in escaping Elmer Fudd, but his Bronx accent is the best! They just don't make cartoons like Bugs Bunny anymore. Just think of the greatness America could have achieved, or the horrors we could have avoided, if W was as smart as Bugs Bunny!


If you haven't had enough, here's another good one–short too.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

#AtoZ Meets #WW : wake Up!

U know sometimes U have to push it to write about a letter, but I've done worse. Here's to U.

Wake Up!

Monday, April 23, 2012

#AtoZ : Tattoos

My daughter and her friend got temporary tattoos.

I am thankful for two things: 

(1) My daughter Erica is the girl on the right–no offense Lisa, but you look freaky.
(2) These are TEMPORARY tattoos.

Although I've never had a real tattoo, I have decorated my body with some made from henna. These will last most people two weeks or so. Mine are usually shorter because after a week, I scrub my skin raw to make them fade.

Here's a collection of weird ones I copied from the internet. This would have made a good Wordless Wednesday post–darn it–but with the multitude of pictures, I can always hold out for "Tattoo Two" one day.

If I were bald, I would so have to do this. Teehee.

Prison Gang Tattoo
Kimberly requested three stars on her face then fell asleep and woke up to this.

Yeah. It's pretty bad miscommunication, but would you lend your face to the tatoo artist below? Duh!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

#AtoZ : Shots

Last week, a fifth grader headed into class late. I asked him where he'd been, to which he said, "I got eleven-year-old shots."

I said, "Why'd you get such old shots?"

He said, "Huh?"

"Why'd they give you eleven-year-old shots? Why didn't they give you fresh medicine? Don't the drugs expire after eleven years?"

He caught on and had a good laugh, so I asked him if he cried when he got his old shots? He laughed again. Boys don't cry over shots, do they? I wish I could have been as brave when I was a child.

As a youngster–four, five, or maybe sixteen–I don't remember, the doctor told me I was going to get a shot. Naturally, I did what any chicken would do, I took off running out the door in my underwear. I had a string of nurses and various other folks chasing me through the halls. Finally, they caught me. Yes, kiddies, there's no escaping the shot once the doctor orders it.

Also, as a child, I once told the doctor he was nasty. What did he expect? The man asked me to take off my clothes. But that has nothing to do with those shots that were never worth the sucker.

When it comes to shots, there's only one kind I like.
White Russian: shot vodka, shot kahlua, and milk