School Projects

Mustachio Bashio

After raising three kids, we experienced many years of school projects. The dogs and I are grateful to be past those days, since the poor pooches often became the victims subjects of study and I struggled to help kids pull these together. Once, Daniel shaved his hair and the dog's to see whose mane would grow back the quickest?

Answer: The dog's, of course; however, fourteen years later, the kid has plenty of hair.

Then there's the time I found a patch of fur missing from the golden retriever's tail.

"What happened to the dog's tail?" I asked.

"I needed fur for the fox on my poster, so I cut it."

Poor silly looking animal! Good thing Erica didn't need something that doesn't grow back.

RIP - You were a perfect subject!

Through the dog's participation, sometimes with free treats, we became better educated. We now know not to buy bottled water for our dogs. We get their water from the good old faucet, even though that's not the favored drink. Serving muddy rain water is the best way to please your pup.

We also learned not to stare at wild horses. You may think you know when someone is looking at you, but you don't. For a third grade science fair project, Judy stared at people for a set amount of time and recorded how many individuals realized she was looking at them. Most humans did not notice; however, animals always knew they were being watched intensely. For a good time, stare at zoo creatures, especially the big baboon. HA!

Judy - Grade 3

Disclaimer: Staring at animals should be done at your own risk. I am not legally liable for broken glass on cages, refunding admission prices once you get kicked out of places, or removing tusks from your backsides as you run from irate zoo animals.

Wordless Wednesday: Let's Bounce

After the kids left the four year old's birthday party, the real fun began. Ever see old people jump on a moon bounce in the rain?

"And You Are. . . ?" Blog Hop

I'm participating in the "And You Are...?" Blog Hop on Emily R. King's site. You may join the "And You Are . . .?" Blog Hop by clicking the link (or David Spade's picture) and answering the questions below. So hop on by, link up, and be eligible for prizes.

1. How many speeding tickets have you gotten?

I'm married to a lawyer; so if I happen to get a ticket, someone knows how to fight them. I've had a few, but I don't have any points.

2. Can you pitch a tent?

Absolutely! I spent a lot of summers camping in the Colorado Rockies. We also used to go camping as a family. I even made tents by tossing blankets over chairs as a kid. When it comes to tent pitching, I'm a pro. . .  that is as long as my husband helps me.

3. What was your worst vacation ever?

We never had a totally horrible vacation, but we did have some bad situations within great vacations. Like the time both Daniel and Judy threw up on Erica in the backseat of a rental car.

4. What was the last thing you bought over $100?

We bought a Volt, which costs a little more than one-hundred dollars, but we have yet to spend a penny on gasoline.

5. We're handing you the keys to what?

I'll take the keys to health, happiness, and a good life.

6. What was the last meal you cooked that made even you sick?

My meals don't make people sick.

7. Fill in the blank: Oh my gosh! Becky, look at her butt! It is so big. She looks like  ____?

she needs a stair master for Christmas. Please, Santa. Help her out because I'm sure she's a good person who just has a problem with her butt. Nice enough for the good list?

8. What was your first car?

Technically my first car was a Chevy Chevette, but in reality I drove a rental car because the Chevette never worked. Once while driving a rental car, I got caught in a vicious hale storm. Giant ice rocks made the rental car look like it had chicken pocks. Having the car in the shop all the time had a plus that day.

9. Your best friend falls and gets hurt. Do you ask if he/she's okay or laugh first?

Ask if she is okay, of course.

10. What's the worst song ever?

There is nothing worse than "I Know a Song That Gets on Everybody's Nerves." You may listen to it, but I guarantee it won't be for long.

Silly Sunday: Wacky Packages

Koduck

Fright Guard

When I was a kid, we dashed to the candy store, paid our nickels, and got packs of Wacky Packages. I had a thick stack of stickers after collecting for awhile, but somehow they've disappeared over the years. I wish I still had them because these vintage cards are going for several dollars a piece on Ebay. Some for a several lot of dollars.

Beanball

Drowny

It's funny to reflect on the goofy topics that appeal to kids. At my ten year high school reunion, my grade school classmates and I reminisced about how easy it was to make our sixth grade selves laugh. All we had to do was whisper, "Underwear," and everyone within hearing distance would laugh so hard they'd have to cross legs to keep from peeing.

Why don't these things make us laugh anymore? Adults take life too seriously. 

Does anyone else remember these?

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Theme Thursday: Sunshine

In honor of the theme "Sunshine" I'm sitting in my den during a vicious night time rainstorm, while hoping our power doesn't go out again. Here are some ridiculous songs that sing about the impossible and expect us not to question it.

 

She sings about walking on sunshine and asks, "Don't it feel good?" Actually, it would hurt. One would burn the heal and toe. How can one walk on sunshine?

 

This actress sings about having a pocketful of sunshine, but I say, "No FREAKING way!" Sunshine would burn a hole right through a pocket and that would never work.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone? Really? One chick leaving is going to make the sun go away? Like that would happen! Of course, "ain't no" is a double negative which means the sun still shines, so I guess this one might work.

Wow! These songwriters must really think we're stupid to believe all that!

 

Which reminds me of one of my favorite movie quotes from Zoolander... 

Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?                                                                Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...                                                                          Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!  

Theme Thursday: What's Cooking? NADA

How ironic to be given a prompt asking, "What's cooking?," the day after my twenty-six hour fast. Yesterday, Yom Kippur––The Day of Atonement, meant a full sundown to past-down-again of reflecting, praying, and empty bellies. 

Each year, I'm amazed to see how easy fasting is for me. In fact, I was so involved with getting my house ready for the break fast, that I failed to watch the clock and went five minutes past supper time! I confess, I did a little evening cooking and baking, but no tasting. If I can go a full day without food or drink, why can't I say, "No" to that second helping or fattening dish? Our minds truly contain the potential to control that thing called our body if we're serious enough to do so.

Last night, a story circulated from one of the Orthodox synagogues in town. A teenage girl fell ill due to lack of food and passed out during the afternoon service. Someone made the mistake of yelling, "Is there a doctor in the house?" 

Practically the entire shul rushed to her aid, with the exception of a couple dozen lawyers pondering, Who pushed her? or Is there a loose tile below her feet that would make a good suit? And of course the temple contained those mentally challenged folks who became accountants. Cool your jets––I'M KIDDING! But in all honesty, we are quite an educated group of people.

The girl was fine. Her ego contained a few bumps and bruises, but no more than those I acquire daily.

If I have offended anyone this year–like accountants, please accept my humble apologies, but also realize I attended Kol Nidre services. This is a most important time when we admit to G-d that we'll probably sin all over again because after all, that's what humans do.

#GBE2: Shenanigans in the Rockies

It's best to be at Shwayder Camp!

Back in high school, I worked as a camp counselor at Camp Shwayder, a Jewish camp nestled in the beautiful rocky mountains of Idaho Springs, Colorado. As staff, we enjoyed the full run of the camp and knew her well. Although always nice to the campers, we were guilty of laughing at some of their shenanigans after the sun went down, such as the story of a little girl called Spacy who tipped over backwards the moment she put on her backpack. She fell in a straight backwards flop without a scream, twitch, or even a facial grimace.

I guess I was the same way on my day off where I made the mistake of falling asleep in a chair with a room full of counselors ready to pull their shenanigans on me. It would have been a lot more fun to watch someone else wake up with a cigarette butt in her hand and an empty bottle of booze under her arm. I am not nor have I ever been a smoker, but I might have drank a little that night since I slept through those shenanigans.

I miss the mountains!

When the camp sessions came to an end, several of us found ourselves in an odd predicament. We wanted to attend a youth group convention a week after camp ended but lived too far to go home for a week. The director gave us an awkward option. We could spend the week at the camp and participate in a program called Youth Tute provided that we be campers. Campers? We had spent the entire summer being counselors, and now we couldn't even wander into our own staff lounge! 

This was horrendous! This was unacceptable! This was... wait a minute, this could be fun. Okay, if they want us to be campers, we'll act like them–and thus–the shenanigans began. Imagine the look on the camp director's face when he found his former staff breaking every rule in the book. We had a blast sneaking out of the cabin, hiding behind the water heater, and raiding the boys' cabins. Shenanigans!

The Writer's Post: Interview

Remember in college when you had that hot date that your friends wanted to check out without being seen? So, they slyly hid behind a pole and peered at the young man as he came to pick you up. That was not the case with Michelle and me. We devised an ingenious plan involving a type of interview and a few hapless men who fell victim to it. 

Dressed in a trench coat, hat, and sun glasses, we'd approach the men as they came to pick up our friends. 

"So, tell me, where are you taking this young lady tonight?" We'd ask as we'd scribble his answers on our notepads. We'd bombard the poor guy with question after question making for a wonderfully awkward scene. Then we'd circle behind him and comment on his cute butt. Finally after receiving a seal of approval, the date would commence. How's that for the topic of interview?

Wordless Wednesday: More Photo Games

Back by popular demand, here we go.
If you have a chance, check out http://www.worth1000.com/. It's a cool site!

What do these pictures demonstrate?

Card Shark

 

Gator-Aide

  

 

iPod

King of Pop

Did you do better this week?

 

Wordless Wednesday: Photo Game

Can you guess what the pictures represent?

Dr. Pepper

 Let's try again.

eggplant

You have the idea.

  

 pool table

   

  

  

tap dancers

If you got them all right, congratulations! I'll post more another week.

GBE2: Work

This week's GBE2 writing topic is work. For better or worse, here's my take on it:

For over twenty-five years, I've taught intellectually gifted kids in an affluent suburb of Memphis. I've seen dramatic changes in what and how I teach since the eighties. Don't get me wrong, the kids are great other than the fact that they never grow older. They will always be around nine or ten even though I've aged twenty-five years. Yet their parents have grown younger. When I first started teaching parents were old people, so how did they get so young? Scary!

As for gifted curriculum, it used to be if the kids were happy, the parents were happy, and administration was happy too. I only was responsible for meeting the IEP goals which I wrote. Not anymore. It's all about test scores and achievement.

Gone are the days of paper-mache´ puppet shows, fancy tooth pick bridges, or spending 100,000 fictional dollars on the stock market. Today, teaching is all about curriculum. My math lessons follow closely to what the classroom teacher is doing yet tougher. I teach reading lessons, with reading groups that cover novels. At least they still let me pick my novels–sorta. We have a list of board approved books.

I still love my time with the kids, but I miss egg drop competitions that plummeted raw eggs with goofy faces and silly names down shoots into kid designed landing pads. I can do some of the fun stuff, but by golly I better find an SPI objective before I do.

I used to start each class with a Shel Silverstein poem; now, I begin with Daily Grammar Practice. Sounds awful, but it's not bad. The kids' ability to diagram complex sentences is even impressive.

But teaching means unbelievable pressure. We've heard of teachers cheating to raise their students' test scores. I certainly don't condone this behavior nor would I ever cheat on a test; but honestly, I understand where this is coming from. It doesn't matter if you have a Doctorate degree or how long you've been teaching, it's getting to the point that your students better show growth or you could be out of a job.  Do you know of any other profession where a person's bread and butter is dependent on fickle kids?

In Tennessee, every public school teacher has a minimum of three (was supposed to be four) evaluations every year. These evaluations involve massive time commitments and paper work as administrators who are stretched thin enter classrooms to watch us teach. Plus, the same folks are scouring over value added scores. This is a comparison of students' growth on tests from year to year. Mind you, I teach gifted. This means that even though my students' test scores are already in the upper nineties, I need to show growth! However, when it comes to other measures of student achievement, I'm scored on the performance of the entire school. Ie., kids I don't even teach.

Please remember, I love the kids! I love the delight when they understand something new. And I love hearing them laugh when I inject humor into my lessons. However, I'm ready to retire because I'm tired. Typically, I arrive at school between 7:15 and 7:30 and leave sometime between 5:00 and 6:00 in the evening. Many times, I bring my work home with me once I leave. Sure I just had two weeks of vacation, but I spent several hours of it completing special education report cards, writing IEPs, making flip charts for my Promethean board, grading writing, and re-reading chapters for discussion this week. Unfortunately, the pressure on us is so intense that the fun has evaporated. In fact, when my college age daughter took a career placement test to help her find a major, the counselor said, "Be a teacher."

I said, "Don't you dare!" Those who are eligible to retire are doing so in mass... and this is supposed to improve education? What has the government done to my profession? I know my teachers from the 60s and 70s never worked as hard as I do nor did they get blamed when I misbehaved. We are one of the most disrespected professions and have even been blamed for the weak economy because we have too many benefits. I pay for my insurance, and it's not cheap!

November 1, 2017, that's when I'll be eligible to retire... unless our lovely legislators raise the retirement age.

Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkins

As you shop for your pumpkin, follow my plan… if you dare. Last year, I bought a huge pumpkin at the Farmer's Market for $2. The trick: I waited until Halloween day. The farmers didn't want to lug pumpkins back to Arkansas, so they were practically giving them away. With kids in college, it wouldn't be a tragedy to be stuck without one; however, I found an abundance of quality pumpkins at giveaway prices.

Wordless Wednesday - Silent pictures

Who said Wordless Wednesday has to be still pictures? Enjoy my talented daughter's first movie.

 

... and to think, Erica can't decide what to major in.

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Wordless Wednesday - Kids & Computers

This is what happens when your kids get a hold of your photo and an art program on a computer.