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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Summer Fun for Kids

Here in the south, we've been out of school for about a week. Before you get too green with envy, please note that teachers started this school year in July. Luckily, the powers that be got some sense, and we won't see our classrooms until August this next school year.

Being a lover of summer, I never understood the concept of, "I'M BORED!" over the summer; however, we all know kids who yearn for things to do. Why not send your kids off with my Boredom Busters at the end of the school year? Once they take up your text books, you can even keep them happy with these fun puzzles to challenge minds. If you're a parent, here's something to keep your child challenged and entertained.

This booklet is for young minds in grades 1 - 3. It contains three summer themed logic puzzles, a sedoku, a maze, and a quote puzzle. It is targeted to gifted and talented students, and I've marked the price down to $3.95. That's a real bargain since I sell my puzzles individually for $1 a piece.

This booklet is for those older intellectually gifted kids in grades 3 - 5. Inside, you will find three logic problems, a sedoku, a quote puzzle, and a funny story, "Beware of Cooties," that is guaranteed to bring a chuckle. This, too, has a reduced price of $4.25. 

So how about it? 
I'd love for you to stop by and check out 
these products or others at my store.

If logic is your thing, my store is loaded with it!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

End of School Craziness

Perhaps you've seen the owls circulating Facebook.
I am totally the owl on the right; so to celebrate all of us losing our minds, I've created a logic problem about us at the end of the year. It's called Tired Teachers, and it might give your third through fifth grade students a chuckle when they read about what exhausted teachers do in May.
You may purchase this little gem for just $1 
Plus it comes complete with an answer key-a necessity because let's face it,
We're Tired!
If you like logic, please check out my store. I have 
plenty of problems to challenge bright kids.
End of School

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Song That Doesn't Represent my Life

Last Thursday, Suzy asked fellow bloggers to share songs that represented our lives. If I were to do that, you'd probably fall asleep reading my post. I figured it would be more fun to play a song that DOESN'T represent me and to participate in the wonderful Musical Monday on a Silly Sunday!

Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

When I was in third grade, I wore a bikini that actually looked cute covering my undeveloped chest and showing my flat little girl stomach; however, since those days, I wouldn't be caught in one. First off, I'm short wasted and look better in a one piece. Secondly, I've become a prude who doesn't like looking sexy. And finally, when I last wore a bikini, I got myself in trouble. 

I know that sounds hard to believe when we're talking about an eight-year-old, but let me explain. Back in the day, we played a hose game called Filling Station. Kids would dart around in swim suits, wait in line to grab the hose, stick it in swim suit bottoms to fill up the car and continue running again. Sounds like a totally innocent kids' game, doesn't it? It was! Never-the-less, when my brother pulled out the home movies and captured me sticking a hose down my pants, I never heard the end of it.

That's why I switched from bikinis to one-pieces. I didn't want to be tempted to stick a hose down my pants again!

Enjoy this retro song written by Brian Hyland and sung by Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Silly Sunday: Spanish Test

An eighth grader was asked to take a practice probe to help him prepare for achievement tests. After he logged into the program, he raised his hand and said in a condescending voice, "Ah, my test is in Spanish, and I don't speak Spanish." 

Please notice question number one on his test...

Caffe latte, cappuccino, and café au lait are all words or phrases from other countries that mean drinks made with ________________.

a. Chocolate
b. Coffee
c. Sugar
d. Tea

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Silly Sunday: Wacky Packages

Fright Guard
When I was a kid, we dashed to the candy store, paid our nickels, and got packs of Wacky Packages. I had a thick stack of stickers after collecting for awhile, but somehow they've disappeared over the years. I wish I still had them because these vintage cards are going for several dollars a piece on Ebay. Some for a several lot of dollars.

It's funny to reflect on the goofy topics that appeal to kids. At my ten year high school reunion, my grade school classmates and I reminisced about how easy it was to make our sixth grade selves laugh. All we had to do was whisper, "Underwear," and everyone within hearing distance would laugh so hard they'd have to cross legs to keep from peeing.

Why don't these things make us laugh anymore? Adults take life too seriously. 
Does anyone else remember these?

If you like Catch My Words, please click on the white picket fence or the snippet. Thanks!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: Halloween of the Past!

When you dress up your kiddos for 
Halloween, make sure you take pictures.

Halloween, circa 1994

Here's a fun photo that's been circulating the internet for awhile.

Here's one I just saw this year. 
Don't forget to enter my Halloween Dog Costume contest for the chance to win a $25 Target gift card. 
You have until November 1. 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Silly Sunday: Parenting Advice

As a parent who has successfully raised three wonderful kids to adulthood, I am now qualified to give my readers parenting advice––free of charge.

When I was a young mother, my father said, "Don't ever hit your kids, but don't ever let them think you won't." 

I tried to follow this advice, but I was never able to make my dad's threatening face. It was the one that said, "Shape up, now!" 

True to Dad's suggestion, we never spanked our kids; however, they knew we weren't going to also. As a result, we found successful discipline strategies that came in creative and silly doses. My favorite threat was the one concerning teeth. "If you don't ______________, we're not going to let you brush your teeth!"

Ooooh. This one scared our kids into doing what we wanted because what could be worse than not being allowed to brush your teeth? Furthermore, teeth brushing became a reward, rather than a fight to make them do it. Hint: Start this when the kids are young or it won't work. 

Tee hee.

Another silly punishment we used involved the love seat in our den. If our kids fought with each other, they had to sit on the love seat until they learned to love each other. They had two choices: get along or have the most miserable punishment ever. 

The most important parenting advice I can give is for you to teach your children to take care of themselves. Next time your child has a problem with a coach or teacher, don't be in a hurry to rush in and fix it for them. Make your child deal with the problem his or herself. They should be the one to approach the adult and address their concerns, not you. You step in only as a last resort when their attempts do not work. Knowing how to talk to an adult has been my kids' greatest life skill. Please parents, don't hover!

Don't forget to enter my Halloween Dog Costume Contest!  Contest Link

Sunday, July 29, 2012

#GBE2: Unexpected

I love the unexpected in film, whether it's a nerd in the shower or finding a golden ticket in a Wonka Bar. These are the little things that make movies worth watching because who wants to see the expected?

 As a youngster, my family visited a quaint little park called Dog Patch USA, located in the Missouri Ozarks. This closed theme park was based on the L'il Abner comic strip and had a cute hillbilly charm about it. I don't remember much at my young age, but I'll never forget the unexpected when opening the door to the men's restroom. I would have used the ladies' room, but a sign told me it was out of order. When I opened the door, a deep voiced man sitting on the pot screamed, "Close the dang door! Doesn't anyone have any decency around here?" Turns out the unexpected man was a statue with a taped message sure to scare the pee out of anyone looking for a restroom. So Dogpatch!

Years later, I remember the unexpected in college. I don't know why the full length poster of George Michael hanging in my room was unexpected because I'm the one who taped it to the dang wall to begin with; however, he scared the begeeze out of me when I spied him standing over my bed in the middle of the night. Little did I know back in the eighties, that handsome man star would have been more interested in my husband than me. Double unexpected.

Now-a-days, the unexpected usually means something bad like the handle falling off the microwave, a tick on the dog, or most recently, a 95 year old man smashing my car door while I shopped inside the target. It's not a good sign to hear over the store speaker, "Will the owner of a black, Volkswagon convertible please come to the service desk?"

It's been two weeks and we're still driving the rental car and waiting for the repairs to be complete. Should it be expected to be without my car for so long? I don't think so. Unexpected was fun as a kid. Now, not so much.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Theme Thursday: Inspiring Things

This week's Theme Thursday has given me a blog topic and an array of questions that need my wisdom. Let's give it a try, shall we?

Do you see inspiring things each day?

I'm not sure if I've seen anything inspiring today. Maybe outspiring, or whatever the opposite of that would be. I'd planned to fly to Dayton; however, just like Beth the alien traveler, we humans must also pick up headaches in Atlanta before going anywhere. The plane I was supposed to get on was running late and I was informed that I would miss my connections. So I had a choice... hmm... spend the night in a dumpy Atlanta hotel or reschedule for tomorrow. 

Am I supposed to feel inspired by that? Maybe so. I've created the best book characters from the lousiest people I've known and the worst situations too. If you ever treated me poorly, be afraid, be very afraid. And buy my book, after I talk someone into publishing it,  just to make sure you're not in it.

Do you wake up and hop out of bed then hurry to get ready to start your day?

Are you kidding me? This is summer. Why in the world would I hop out of something as delightful as my bed? If anything, I've recently stopped hopping because it sets my head spinning. Instead, I sit at the edge and wait for my blood pressure to rise enough to not get a carpet burn at the tip of my nose from keeling over. I'll leave the hopping to Kangaroo Jack. This movie was pretty bad in the stupid kind of way. I'd say it ties with Solaris. 

Even the actress fell asleep!
Have you seen Solaris? It had one funny scene. Someone asked George Clooney how a lady got on the space ship. He said, "I don't know. I just woke up and she was there."

My sister leaned into me and said, "I just woke up and she was there too." Yes, strangers, that is why we laughed hysterically in the middle of that boring movie.

What inspires you?

You do. Every time I get a comment where someone tells me I made them laugh, I am inspired to do it again. In fact, I am so inspired that I need to talk an agent into representing my book because I guarantee it will make kids laugh. After all, I've used a few of Bruce Coville's magic words in my book. "Fart." "Underwear." "Butt." Yes, folks, slap these words into kidlit and you've got an instant chuckle. If these words made you laugh too, don't admit it! 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

#GBE2: "High" School

You know there's trouble when a school has an open lunch policy, a park next door, and a school full of spoiled rich kids with enough money to buy whatever they want. That was my 1970s high school.

Although I never partook in the afternoon escapes of my high school, I have vivid memories of the aftermath. Each day after lunch, I'd sit in English class and stare at the boy across the room. His handsome face was marred by bloodshot eyes and a faraway expression. He never spoke nor seemed to be a part of the class. Did the teacher not notice his drugged out appearance or did she just not care? It was scary to think someone could be that high in a high school class. It was even scarier to think of a good looking kid being so screwed up.

I know this is a humor blog, and I'm sure there is plenty to make fun of when it comes to high kids. I've included funny pictures because it's better than crying, but it just isn't funny to have recently attended TWO funerals for young men who over dosed. 

I attended "high" school without even a buzz. I survived, as did my stoned classmates, without any red ribbon weeks or "Just Say No" assemblies, so why are today's kids dying? Are the drugs containing dangerous fillers that my classmates didn't encounter? Is it a social class thing? Maybe my classmates bought purer drugs with their abundance of money. 

I know today's schools have a lot more control on kids than my school did. No open lunch policies and no smoking lounge for kids nor teachers. Is that the problem? Has too much restriction caused a youth rebellion? I don't know the answer to this. 

I'd say it's all about good parenting, but the parents mourning their kids are top notch! Seriously. These are wonderful parents who were there for the kids throughout.

I know this is not the direction Beth expected when she wrote "High School," but in lieu of what's been going on in my community it's what on my mind.

I can certainly tell the kids to "Just Say No," but I already did that. They didn't listen. So what now?

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Lessons From the Playground

Back in the early seventies, I was another dumb kid just trying to fit in when I learned a powerful lesson on how to treat people. As a reward for all of our hard work, the school took us on a field trip to one of the best playgrounds in the world–Six Flags.

Being middle schoolers, we radiated cool as we weaved from ride to ride with a large group of boys and girls. All was wonderful until the lead nasty girl huddled us in a group and whispered, "Let's ditch Dan."

Well, okay. Gee, I had no mind of my own, so if she says we're going to do this, I went along with it. At her signal, all of us darted away from poor Dan.

Next, she chose a second victim, and a third. The group continually grew smaller as we ditched one kid after another. Being that this nasty girl was my good friend, it never dawned on me that eventually I would be the one ditched. They ditched me.

Alone and terrified, I shook in the middle of that huge amusement park. Strangers surrounded me as I wandered up and down the paths looking for one, just one familiar face. Why had I gone along with the pack earlier? Why hadn't I had the courage to speak up and say, "Stop! This is wrong" or  "No! I'm not ditching anyone." I'd never even thought about how cruel our stunt was, and if I hadn't gotten ditched myself, maybe I never would have. So I'm glad they left me. And as for my nasty friend... that was the END of that friendship.

Okay, I confess, she is a current Facebook friend; so, do I paste a link to this post in a private message to her? After that day, she didn't seem to understand why I didn't want to be her friend anymore. Would she understand as an adult? Has she ever thought of Six Flags since or is my horrible memory a faded smudge on her bridge. I have found the ability to forgive her, but I will NEVER forget. It was too painful.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Writer's Post: Innocence & Middle School

When I was an innocent twelve year old, my big sister explained all those naughty words we weren't allowed to say but needed to know before entering middle school. When she came across the "F" word, she refused to define it because it was too naughty to talk about. Those with me in those early seventies, now know the bad word: "fifty."

Unfortunately, urban dictionary did not exist yet, and Bev's little vocabulary lesson was not nearly enough.

In the seventh grade, I had a crush on an eighth grade boy who I didn't know and still have never spoken to. Knowing he was Jewish, I needed to let him know that I was/am Jewish too. When we had a fifties day, I wore my earrings. A friend told me that the only people with pierced ears in the fifties were prostitutes. Here was my chance to let the boy of my dreams know I'm Jewish. I loudly said, and repeated multiple times, "I'm not a prostitute, I'm Jewish." Okay, prostitute sounds like protestant, and I didn't know what one was anyway so... oops.

Apparently, my classmates were not as innocent as me. They repeatedly mentioned a catch phrase of, "Sit on it" when at odds with each other. To add even more emphasis to the phrase, they would say, "Sit on it and rotate." Being super naive, I didn't know what this meant but said it anyway when my sister upset me. My mother held the dish soap under my nose and yelled about how she'd wash my mouth out with soap. Dirty? Did I say something dirty? Back in my middle school innocence, I didn't know that phrase was dirty. Oops.

Then came sleepover camp. Late night Truth or Dare with a crowd of boys and girls was the ultimate fun in middle school, until Ruthie asked me, "Are you a virgin?" Not knowing what a virgin was, I sure didn't want to admit to being one, so I said, "No."

Oh my. The faces around me turned white and mouths dropped open because who was not a virgin at age 13 in the seventies? Of course, I didn't know why I got their strong reaction to my answer. Ruthie explained to me that a virgin is someone who has never had sex.

Oh! A virgin! I thought you said, "Virgo." I'm a Sagittarius.

Monday, November 14, 2011

GBE 2: Surprise

Funny that this week's topic should be about surprises because my husband is planning my surprise birthday party right now. We've been invited to Vic's Dirty Santa party on December second (close to my big 50). Although my husband claims this is Vic's annual party, we've never been invited to it.

He said, "Oh, sure. He's invited us before. I just never wanted to go." 

Yeah, right.

Mitchell threw me a surprise birthday party when I turned 30 and 40, so I figure it's time again. Of course, I'm a stink pot when it comes to these things, so he might not want to plan one for 60 (or this year). Ten years ago at the last minute, I told him I was sick of the restaurant we were headed to and wanted to go somewhere else. My bad. I don't deserve him.

I of course, threw surprises for him on his 30th, 40th, and 50th too. The most recent was quite fun. My mother-in-law bought airline tickets to bring our two older kids to town. Without telling my husband, I took the afternoon off and picked up the kids. Later––when I'd normally be home, I called him at work and told him he had to come home because the upstairs toilet was over flowing and I didn't know what to do. When he said he was in the middle of something, I faked anger in my frantic state and told him he HAD to get home now.

Mitchell rushed to the rescue and proceeded to inspect the perfect toilet. "I don't see anything wrong with it," he grumbled.

"Me neither," our son said from behind him. The look on Mitchell's face was priceless, but the picture didn't come out well. :(

I'll let you know how my surprise birthday party goes--or maybe I'll be surprised when it doesn't happen. NAH! By the odd chance that it's not on the second, I'll just figure it's going to be late since the kids can't make it to town until after Christmas.

Here's a funny YouTube clip about a surprise birthday party.