Writer's Post: Celebrate Seeson & Seedaughter

It's December, which means one more week of controlling overly excited grade schoolers who don't wholeheartedly believe in that jolly dude wearing a color that only makes him look fatter. Maybe St. Nicholas should switch his costume to black, since it's slenderizing.    

See how slender Santa looks in black!

The fat guy has been down our chimney once in twenty plus years. He dropped off three Christmas gifts that were addressed to kids with names we didn't recognize. Since we didn't know who these kids were, where to find them, or how to get in touch with the fat man, our kids kept the presents. I hope that was okay.

Santa doesn't celebrate at our house because we're Jewish. Someone once asked how we explained to our kids that Santa is anti-Semitic. However, the kids never saw it that way because we have our own celebration-- Hannukkah, Hanuka, Channakkah, Chanukah. No one knows how to spell it, and many don't know how to pronounce it either.

It's not too different from the other Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat. Chanukkah also means gift giving. My daughter sent me the following e-mail, which I posted on my Facebook page.

 Subject: if someone needs a hanukkah gift for me....

Vintage Sterling Silver Necklace Gold Charm by GiRLStreetVintage

www.etsy.com

In response, my other daughter sent me the following message:

If someone needs a hannukkah gift for me......
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13740099/ns/business-small_business/t/sale-hot-red-ferrari-seller-included/

Notice they each spelled the holiday in a different way.

When it comes to the holidays, I'm happy to see my kids! After all, it's the seeson... and seedaughter! Here's Adam Sandler's take on our holiday.

GBE2: The Truth

When I first met my third graders last week, the four of us played a game to get to know each other. One person states two true facts and a lie. Then everyone has to guess which statement is NOT true.

One darling little boy knew the adorable young girl all too well. After she said she had a cat, he said, "Yep. She does!"

I told him not to answer these out loud or he'd ruin the game for everyone else; so when she said she was a good artist, he smiled from ear to ear and shook his head, "Yes."

Kids can be so truthful, but their truthfulness worked in my favor when someone passed me in the hall and wished me a happy birthday. "How old are you?" The kids asked.

I told them I couldn't say it because it's one of those zero ages, and it's an "F" word.

One little girl said, "I know! You're forty." Got to love her.

Here are my:
 

Two Truths and a Lie

(1) I was born in Memphis.

(2) I have a rare blood type.

(3) I've written five novels.

  

Can you guess the lie?

Wordless Wednesday: Chanukah Ham