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My humorous thoughts about life.
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This week's Writer's Post topic is Vacation; however, don't you have to take one to write about it? Thanks to our wonderful Veteran's, I'm home today, but it's not a vacation. I'm on staycation. That means I spend my day off blogging.
Bermuda Honeymoon - 1986
Way back before sending kids to college or soccer tournaments, we used to take great vacations. Mitchell and I honeymooned in Bermuda. Nothing like riding a motor bike among the flowers.
After Bermuda, our vacations took a different feel when we added kids to the trip. The favorite game was "Let's Make Dad Mad." You pack the car and kids for a long drive, then listen to squabbling from the back seat until Dad stops the car–before we get off the driveway! We'd sit outside the house with my husband muttering, "We're not going. We're not going." Eventually the tears flooded the backseat and off we went.
We had some notable vacations, such as the time two kids threw up on the baby in the backseat of the van. At least kids can take baths and the car was a rental. Or the one where the daughter got lost in the museum and sent us into panic mode.
It could always be worse. Knock on wood, we never came home with broken bones like my first family did after French Lick, Indiana. I was soooo mad at my brother and sister for cutting our vacation short because they rode a bicycle built for two on the horse trail!
So sad!
Now our vacations come down to visiting the kids, which is awful since they chose boring places to live in. Our poor son lives in a city with nothing to do and horrible weather. He had to buy a boat to sail in the Charleston Harbor. Poor kid! Why would anyone want to live in a place with beautiful people, weather, and those awful palmetto trees all over the place?
At least she gets to play in snow.
Then there's our middle daughter who lives outside a culturally backwards small town. What's she supposed to do on the week-ends? Take a smelly subway to DC and visit museums? Such a boring place for a history major. (In case you didn't know, DC's subways are spotless)
Erica meets interesting people.
I feel sorriest for my baby who chose to go to school in Orlando. Poor kid is forced to ride those scary roller coasters at Universal Studios because the beach is too far of a drive. And the weather, yuck! She never gets to wear a coat or play in the snow.
How can we take vacations when our kids are living them?
We have a most unique challenge with the GBE 2 group, and as a writer, I'm certainly up for this one. Write a 100 word fiction story. I'm all on it, with the exception that I've cheated a little by taking a story I wrote some time ago and cutting it down, but what do you want? I'm vacationing in Charleston. Today, I even tried a paddle boat for the first and last time. After falling into the Charleston Harbor, I decided to swap it for a kayak. Then I went up Shem's Creek where two playful dolphins jumped in front of my boat.
Here is a story that has nothing to do with paddle boating, kayaking, or Charleston, but I hope you like it anyway. It can't be over 100 words, including the title. Really, Beth? "You're killing me Smalls."
Ballymote Castle
Wretched Life
by
Joyce Paull Lansky
Jeremy followed the tour under a familiar tapestry suspended in the banquet hall. He’d been fascinated by fourteenth century Ireland. Now, he was there!
Staring at a cauldron, he felt certain he'd eaten scraps of honey-covered mutton from the Master’s platter. Worse, he'd slept nude on hay-covered dung while the Lord and Lady enjoyed a cozy pallet; but, being naked was better than wearing insect-infested tunics.
After climbing slyly-constructed, irregular steps that circled a stone column, he ducked under the wall's arrow slit. Jeremy cringed from the memory of the arrow that had ended his wretched past life.
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I hit the jackpot when I won Gone With a Handsomer Man by Michael Lee West from http://www.beckypovich.blogspot.com/. This delightful new release tells the story of Teeny Templeton, a young woman in a lot of trouble. When her x-fiance´ is murdered, she finds herself set up as the prime suspect, so she turns to an old high school boyfriend turned lawyer, but the flame's not out. The book is complete with well-developed characters, a multi-layered plot, and the charm of cooking in Charleston.
I just got back from visiting my son in Charleston and getting a first hand peek at what twenty-somethings do for fun. Every Wednesday at 10:00 is Trivia Night at the Kickin' Chicken. I was all over it. Perched on stools around a wooden table we delighted in competing for a $50 bar tab for the winners, $25 for second, $10 for third, and the dreaded syphilis infection for fourth. Competing against a large crowd, we left empty handed; but our team had full beer bellies.
The first task was picking a team name that related to current events, was totally obscene, or preferably both. My son, daughter, and I struggled over a name, but it took my son's twenty-three year old friends no time to come up with the kind of name with words that one would never say in front of someone's mother (AKA - me). I didn't mind the sexual names so much, but Charlie Sheen jokes got old, and Japanese related titles were just plain rude. My favorite team name was: "I don't bungee jump because broken rubber brought me into this world and I don't want to leave the same way."
Equipped with the rare knowledge that Michael J. Fox's middle name is "Andrew," we were ready to begin. . . but they didn't ask that question. Being the night before St. Patrick's Day, a lot of questions related to the Irish. No problem; I've been to Ireland. So why did I report the most southern county as being Limerick instead of Cork? Oh, the pressure!
We knew Sam Houston was the governor of Texas who retired from office rather than take the oath of allegiance to the confederacy (although we almost said, "George Bush"); Florida was the most recent college team to win two championships in consecutive years; and never remove the Cauliflower Ear during a game of Operation.
What we didn't know were the four most popular bands of all times. Beatles and Rolling Stones were the given. What were the two others? Being the old lady who loves to tune into classic rock, how could I have missed it? I was probably the only one in the bar who had been around during these bands' hey days. So, knowing what I know, how could the Grateful Dead not be one of the four? I mean, "dead heads" abound, even though no one understands why a dead person would be grateful. Anyway, I know you're dying for the correct answer . . . the winners were . . . wait for it . . . Led Zeppelin and U2. Really? Yeah!
Although Trivia Night is a blast, it's made for the young. To find out why, reread my second line: "Wednesday nights at 10:00." How could someone over twenty-five get up for work the next day?
