Theme Thursday: Inspiring Things

This week's Theme Thursday has given me a blog topic and an array of questions that need my wisdom. Let's give it a try, shall we?

Do you see inspiring things each day?

I'm not sure if I've seen anything inspiring today. Maybe outspiring, or whatever the opposite of that would be. I'd planned to fly to Dayton; however, just like Beth the alien traveler, we humans must also pick up headaches in Atlanta before going anywhere. The plane I was supposed to get on was running late and I was informed that I would miss my connections. So I had a choice... hmm... spend the night in a dumpy Atlanta hotel or reschedule for tomorrow. 

Am I supposed to feel inspired by that? Maybe so. I've created the best book characters from the lousiest people I've known and the worst situations too. If you ever treated me poorly, be afraid, be very afraid. And buy my book, after I talk someone into publishing it,  just to make sure you're not in it.

Do you wake up and hop out of bed then hurry to get ready to start your day?

Are you kidding me? This is summer. Why in the world would I hop out of something as delightful as my bed? If anything, I've recently stopped hopping because it sets my head spinning. Instead, I sit at the edge and wait for my blood pressure to rise enough to not get a carpet burn at the tip of my nose from keeling over. I'll leave the hopping to Kangaroo Jack. This movie was pretty bad in the stupid kind of way. I'd say it ties with Solaris. 

Even the actress fell asleep!

Have you seen Solaris? It had one funny scene. Someone asked George Clooney how a lady got on the space ship. He said, "I don't know. I just woke up and she was there."

My sister leaned into me and said, "I just woke up and she was there too." Yes, strangers, that is why we laughed hysterically in the middle of that boring movie.

What inspires you?

You do. Every time I get a comment where someone tells me I made them laugh, I am inspired to do it again. In fact, I am so inspired that I need to talk an agent into representing my book because I guarantee it will make kids laugh. After all, I've used a few of Bruce Coville's magic words in my book. "Fart." "Underwear." "Butt." Yes, folks, slap these words into kidlit and you've got an instant chuckle. If these words made you laugh too, don't admit it! 

Wordless Wednesday: I Won!

I entered a contest at Empty House, Full Mind and won this beautiful set of coasters from the Recycled Album Art Shop. I love them so much that I'm wondering who I could buy a set for.

I chose an album that I love!

They take retro albums and turn them into coaster sets which are sealed in a strong coating and placed on wooden blocks with cork pads. The edges have been sanded smooth.

Plus, I got this cool basket made from the album.

Check out their site: Recycled Album Art Shop. I had a blast browsing through their many choices of coaster sets. They also have greeting cards and other cool bowls.

I've always been a STYX fan. Now I have a cool basket and coasters from my favorite album. These are the best of times!

GBE2: Where's Beth?

Our blogging buddy Beth has chosen to remove herself from our internet world due to unknown business she must attend to. Rumor has it she's run off with Johnny Depp, who denies breaking up with his woman. Those of us who have followed Beth for awhile, know this is not what happened. 

Beth says, "Sometimes you have to step away from something in order to see it clearly," but what this really means is her Earth-like eyes must be recharged in order to allow her to continue her clear sight.

Yes, folks. The truth is out. Beth is clearly an alien, and I'm not talking about someone sneaking into the country from Mexico. I mean "alien" as in from another planet.

If you don't believe me, let's take a look at the various posts from Word Nerd Speaks. While swimming with her grand daughter Beth writes, "We peeked up over the edge of the pool, careful to avoid being seen by any humans." Why would she be scared of humans seeing her? Does water cause her to change into her greenish-yellow sixties style skin? There's clue number one about Miss Beth.

You think she's normal and I'm full of it? What about her famous expression, "Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy." She's even written, "Hot-diggity-damn-dog" and "Zippity-Do-Da-DONE" on posts. Who uses these expressions today? Yep. Not only is she an alien, but one who studied old tapes before landing here. 

That's Beth with her grandmother. Grandma had a head of gorgeous white hair. Beth hopes hers ultimately comes in that same color. I hope hers comes in looking human-like.

Beth writes, "My sense of smell is freakishly acute." Smell is very important when visiting other planets. If she didn't have an extremely acute sense of smell, she might accidentally eat something that doesn't agree with her alien body. This is a common trait among visitors from other planets.

Does this person look human?

She even writes about how others see her. "He thinks I’m weird. In fairness to him, he’s not judging harshly. I most certainly am weird." You're not weird Beth, at least I'm sure they don't think that on your planet.

Further proof, look at the searches people use to find her blog: crazy and sexy surgeons (translation - how to look human); pouty breasts (She claims her lips were pouty. It must be hard to get everything right when imitating the human form) ; and finally "my toes" "are" "long" "ashamed" (Ditto. Other alien errors, but it's okay Beth. With your shoe wearing habit, I'm sure your toes didn't give away your alien status).

"What really matters has nothing to do with the exterior," writes Beth in bold. Well, of course. We know that exterior isn't yours anyway. So get your earthy features tuned up and come back to join us soon. What does Beth have to lose? After all, we all know the truth.

All photos were stolen from Beth's blog. Picture swiping is something she despises, so hopefully she won't zap me with her giant ray gun when she returns to our planet.