Silly Sunday: ⚡Bar Flys⚡

Wonderful artwork by Kevin Smith. Check out his other illustrations at Creative Spark Studio. Kevin designs lots of cool posters, T-shirts, logos, and even photo restorations. Don't worry, he won't destroy priceless paintings of Jesus. ;)

⚡Bar Flys⚡ 

For just $39.99, you can be a fly on the wall and watch your kids consume massive amounts of alcohol, listen  to conversations (she's just a friend, hmm?), and not let them see you blush.

Does your son really pick up half-dressed women with too much eye-liner? 

Is the elastic at the waistline of your daughter's shirt inching upward while the neckline's slipping down?

Find out the answers today by calling 1-800-Bar-Flys. Down one capsule with a pint of beer and off you'll buzz to the twenty-something scene. Plant your hairy legs on a wall to hear and see all for this one time limitted offer. 

With Bar Flys you can be flying into the bar for only $39.99.

Uses
✦temporarily stops Ωβs, ΠϕΔs, and any other fraternity creeps from hitting on your daughter. Ever try successful flirting with a fly repeatedly landing on your nose, ears, or private parts? 
✦also effective to stop son when he acts like Ωβ or ΠϕΔ 
✦provides light buzz

Warnings
Do not use at ball games, plays, or any other event that contains programs. Accidental swatting may be fatal. Overuse of Bar Flys may result in
✦nervousness
✦jittery movements
✦attraction to sugary substances
✦seeing octuple

 Don't drive a motor vehicle or operate machinery when taking Bar Flys. Accidents can occur when drivers lose human dexterity.

"It works! I've grounded my kids for life," -Eves Drop

 Bar Flys! Get it today through this 

 special offer!

1-800-Bar-Flys

And if you act now, we'll throw in one free Car Ant that will allow you to see if that son really stopped texting and driving.

#GBE2: Behind

Behind, bottom, bum, buttocks, backside, breech and all the other words that Beth had no intention of us using for this topic.

Everyone who visits my blog deserves a visit back, but I'm so behind and only get further so each day.

H iny--that thing we want to be tiny. Kids laugh when one says words that depict this part of the anatomy. If you laughed too, don't admit it... or better yet, you might like the kidlit that I write. :)

I would love to have the time to post stupid stuff everyday, but there is too much to do, and I'm behind!

N ot sure why the red only covered half of the letter. At least the letter is covered on the bottom. Ah, ha, ha, ha!

D errier is the French word for... well, just guess. I am so BEHIND in all I have to do that it's amazing I got a post up tonight!

I hope this isn't too lame.

Wordless Wednesday: SCBWI Conference Photos–A Unique Perspective

At the end of the Midsouth SCBWI conference, I realized I hadn't taken any photos for Wordless Wednesday, so I snapped some quick ones.

The hotel had beautiful carpeting...

and ceilings.

The chairs were also interesting.

The Hilton provided complimentary coffee and ice water.

You expect to see pictures of famous writers, editors, and agents from a writer's conference? Remember, this is a humor blog!

Oh, okay. Here is a homemade movie of the gifted and talented Dan Yaccarino and me.

Don't you hate it when your camera takes a movie instead of a still photo?

Willa's Wild Life is an even better film than the one above.

Seriously, I had a great time at the conference and got a lot more out of it than these goofy snapshots that are good for messing with my readers. Hopefully, I even met someone who will want to take a chance on my humor.