The Price of a Laugh: A Dog House Story

About ten years ago, I gave my students a writing assignment that looked like fun; so, I wrote along side of them. I enjoyed the prompt so much that I decided I wanted to write a

novel. As of now, I've written five novels, but none are published. In all honesty, I haven't had a lot of time for novel writing or querying recently. Not having a book contract is probably for the best since teaching is so demanding. But I still dream of publication of more than just a magazine story.

Just this week, I wrote another story with my kids. They are working on a Dog Unit so the assignment was to write about one of those wonderful dog expressions such as, a dog-eat-dog world, raining cats and dogs, dog eared, dog tired or the one I chose, in the doghouse.

Here's my fiction story. It hasn't had much editing and I didn't spend a lot of time writing it, but I'll share it any way.

The Price of a Laugh: A Dog House Story

     "I'll only be gone a moment," Mom said as she scooted out the door. She'd left us may times before, but something told me today would be different.

     My little brother, Patrick, tugged on my sleeve. His face gave that I'm-bored-expression, even though Mom had only been gone for four minutes. One of my favorite past times was making Patrick laugh. He had one of those goofy snort giggles that seemed to bring the entire house into his party.

     Without giving it too much thought, I grabbed Mom's Japanese bud vase off the marble end table and balanced it on top of my head.

     "Snor-or-ort!" Patrick fell on the floor and rolled into my leg. Not expecting his body to crash into me, I jerked back causing the vase to crash on the floor.

     "Uh-oh," Patrick giggled.

     A meer uh-oh was not going to solve this problem. Mom had bought that vase back in college when she studied in Japan. She had always talked about what a rare find it was and how she'd never seen one just like it. Now her treasure lay on the floor in 1,652 pieces.

     I reached for the broom and swept up the mess all the while thinking of the trouble I'd be in when Mom came home. I'm in the doghouse for the price of one snort laugh.

    

Wordless Wednesday: Doggy Love



Recognize anyone in the photo? Both are models for this blog.

I wish the kids got along as well as the dogs.

#MM Superstar!

After my last post, it's time to have a little fun with my readers. Talk about irony, here are songs from one of the great musicals, Jesus Christ Superstar.

I also love this little number from the same show.

 

 

Why stop now? I'm on a role.

 

 

I bet you didn't see this one coming. Tee hee.

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Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s">http://javaura.com/">LadyJava’s Lounge

Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.


http://www.inlinkz.com/cs.php?id=498858">
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PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

 

Je suis Jeuf.

I am Jewish. My religious roots go back as far as I know, and I wouldn't want it any other way. If you dislike me because of my faith, then leave my blog. I don't need your visits. Furthermore, I fully support Israel and her need to protect herself from terrorist attacks. I am sick of the United Nations condemning Israel for her acts of self-preservation while having nothing to say about the horrors of ISIS.

Antisemitism is once again on the rise, with an over 300% increase in Europe. As a result, I have no plans to visit this part of the world anytime soon. Antisemitism first showed its ugly head in 586 BCE (Before the Common Era) in ancient Babylonia when Jews refused to worship Khnum, the Egyptian Ram God. Soon after, the first temple was destroyed. This occurred in what is now Israel, long before Palestinians even existed.

Basically, hatred for Jews has followed a repeated pattern of a ruling factor saying, "You will do this."

While Jews replied, "We will not."

Some 400 years later, Egyptians frowned upon Jews who worshipped one God as opposed to multiple Gods. Yet, we Jews refused to give up our practices.

With the antisemitism among the Roman Empire, how in the world do people believe the lie of Jews killing Jesus? Jews had no power and were a small and intellectually divided community. In fact, many Jews were nailed to the cross for refusing to practice the Roman religious ways. Plus, the Romans destroyed the second temple in 70 CE.

Throughout history, Jews have been a convenient scape goat due to our refusal to assimilate. We did not cause the black plague; we just didn't catch the dreaded disease because we kept our houses clean. Or, er, my ancestors did. ;) Nor, have we sacrificed humans in bizarre rituals. However, people believe what they want to believe.

At the beginning of this article, I claimed that I wouldn't want to deny my ancestry. Throughout history, my ancestors have repeatedly had threats to their lives. I am proud to be the child of the survivors. I am also amazed at the persistence of those who try to convert me. My ancestors refused conversion over the threat of death, yet you think you can ring my doorbell and expect me to drop my religion for yours. No apologies to you. I refuse to spit on my ancestors graves.

#WW The Kiss

You know what would make this 

girl even happier than 

when she received this kiss?

 

If you'd make a donation to help her reach her dance marathon goal.

Even a dollar donation would be

AWESOME!

Please do it "for the kids" by clicking the link below.

Children's Miracle Network

http://www.blenza.com/linkies/styles/default.css

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#WW Famous TV Theme Songs

Here's a song that outdid its goofy TV show. I watched

"The Greatest American Hero"

a few times but got into the song way more than the show.

 

Here is one of the best TV theme songs ever.

Hurray for Henry Mancini and The Pink Panther!

 

 

I doubt if this last TV theme song ever made it big,

but I liked it. Is anyone old enough to

remember watching "The Banana Splits?"

 

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Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST
here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s">http://javaura.com/">LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.


http://www.inlinkz.com/cs.php?id=496688">
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PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

 

No Wordless Wednesday

My computer is showing red,
If I don't do something it may soon be dead.
So, it's in the shop,
Making me miss the hop.
Good night. I'm going to go to bed.

#MM Barbershop Quartets

I've always loved the barbershop quartet, so here's a 

couple of fun ones to make your Monday musical.

Please welcome Jimmy Fallon, 

Justin Timberlake, and friends.

    

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s">http://javaura.com/">LadyJava’s Lounge
Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.


http://www.inlinkz.com/cs.php?id=494488">
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PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Funny Fail?

I have a knock knock joke.

You go first.

Let's try that again.

Knock knock
Whose their?
Hard.
Hard who?
Hard to be funny with so much on my mind.

I was in the doctor's office two weeks ago, and he diagnosed me with Diabetes. It's a combination between genetics, high levels of stress, and bad eating as a result.

I've had an incredibly stressful year. If all my coworkers were to throw their health problems into a box and shake, the box would explode. That is if they stuck around long enough to watch. One by one, many have quit. Those of us who have stuck it out have suffered from high blood pressure, shingles, and now let's add my Diabetes to the list.

As for the dreaded diagnosis, I've been expecting it for some time. After all, genetics loads the gun and life style pulls the trigger. My dad was diagnosed when he was around my age and under going a lawsuit from his business. In many ways, I am my dad in that I'm a worrier who wants to please. Interestingly enough, I've had a lot of dreams recently that involve Dad being with me. Although he died in 1993, I've never stopped missing him. I guess we never do.

Looking at dream analysis sites, dreaming about one's father hints at a need for protection. This makes sense because Dad was always looking out for me. With me being only 31 when he died, I felt cheated; however, I've since gotten over these feelings by talking to people about their dads. I was better off with my father for 31 years than theirs for 62.

Dad never hit me, but I believed he would. He told me to do that with my kids.

Unfortunately, although we never even spanked our children, we could not pull off the believed fear that we would. As for me, I've only successfully beaten the crap out of fictional characters. Does that mean the violence is in me? I could claim that to scare my kids, but it's too late. They are adults, and I'd have a hard time convincing them that they'll be going over my knee for their insolence. By the way, my kids' favorite thing to do is to tell "You're mama" jokes in front of me, but I'm being ADD, again.

The good thing about my dreams of Dad is that at night he shows up walking. Dad lost both of his legs to Diabetes. Mom, on the other hand, never had severe problems with her Diabetes. I hope to keep the disease under control. I've lost five pounds in the last few weeks and plan to lose more. Plus, I will be eligible to retire in a couple of years. Pray that I can hang in there long enough to receive full benefits for thirty years on the job. It's hard to believe just how close I am.

As a side note, you may look forward to reading about how I abuse my characters after I retire and have time to focus on getting published.

Wordless Wednesday, Why Not?

It's been a rough year,

but I'm home and dinner's in the oven.

I'm thankful for my readers.

This is for you!

#MM: Duets

When I think of duets, I think of these mushy love songs, which isn't my style, so I had to look for something fun.

Here's a song from Annie Get Your Gun: 

"Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better."

Next up, is one I've posted before, but hey, it's a fave. It makes me laugh every time I see it. Once again, without further ado, is King Louis and Baloo the Bear from the Jungle Book: "Swingdance."

Last up, is a fun duet from Paul McCarney and Michael Jackson: "Say, Say, Say."

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Happy Birthday, Baby!

It's been a full year since my baby's much awaited birthday (photo on the left) and now look at her. I blinked, and she's 22.

I've watched my child change from a thumb sucking baby to a full grown and beautiful lady. What's even more amazing is what my kid has asked for on her birthday! Not a car, nor an iPad--she hasn't requested a new computer nor phone. You may have three guesses of what she wants.

1. No. She loved the koala bear in

Australia, but she did not ask for one of her own. Good try, but try again. 

2. Are you nuts? Sure, we had a great time visiting Kennedy Space Center in Orlando, but she did not ask us to send her to the moon.

You have one more guess, so make it good.

3. Of course not. Twenty-two is NOT old enough to want to be a baby again!

If you want to know what my Erica wants, keep reading, but be careful. If you read on, you may find yourself in need of making her birthday wish happen because YOU have the ability to get her what she wants. I will post the letter that she wrote to everyone and ask that you help her out . . . even if it's just $1. Hey! If everyone who reads my blog gave even $1, she'd meet her dance marathon goal.

Here's her letter:

,

Dear Friends and Family,

With my birthday less than a week away I wanted to do something extra special for it. Instead of asking for gifts or fun Facebook posts, I would love if you could donate to the Children's Miracle Network instead. Most of the money raised for this great organization is raised one dollar at a time and that is all I am asking. If all of my friends donated one dollar, then we could raise over a thousand dollars for the Children's Miracle Network. All donations are tax-deductible and directly go to where these local hospitals need help the most.

This year on March 28th and 29th, 2015, I will be participating as staff in Knight-Thon, UCF’s dance marathon and largest philanthropy benefiting the Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. At Knight-Thon this year, we will be standing for 20 hours and hope to raise at least $500,000 for the Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. We are standing to show love and support for the children that CMN Hospitals treat. 62 children enter a CMN Hospital for treatment every minute, and 1 in 10 children in North America are treated at a CMN Hospital every year. Every dollar truly does count. Below is a link to my donor drive where you will be able to donate to this phenomenal cause.

http://www.helpmakemiracles.org/index.cfm…

Thank you very much for your time and support. It means so much to myself and to the children and families that benefit from your donation. If you’re interested in hearing more about CMN Hospitals, Dance Marathon, or why I’m raising money for this cause, I’d love to talk with you about it! Thank you so much for your time and generosity!

Lots of Love, Erica Lansky  “For The Kids We Are!”

http://www.helpmakemiracles.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participantDonations&participantID=290530

Please help "For the Kids"!

http://www.helpmakemiracles.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participantDonations&participantID=290530

#WW: Another Puppy Pic.

#MM Dance Marathon Time

My daughter Erica will be participating in a dance marathon at UCF in Orlando to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. Won't you help by making a small donation? 

Thanks for your donation. 

You may help to make miracles here!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Armed Robbery

Our peaceful neighborhood has been rocked by three armed robberies in the past week. No, we do not live in the "dangerous" part of town; we live in Germantown. Although Memphis has her fair share of crime, Germantown had been rated as the tenth safest suburb in the country. See for yourself Ten Safest Suburbs in US. So what's going on?

Here is a report of what didn't happen during the first robbery, but I'll use my author's creative rights to change the story.

An elderly woman drove home from picking up dinner. Without warning, a man, wearing a hat, gloves, and ski mask, grabbed her arm and pushed her into her house. As he pointed a gun at her head, he didn't notice her 85 year-old husband who sat at the kitchen table. Being that he had no early Altheimer's and a body as fit and limber as it was in his twenties, he sprung out of his seat, disappeared into the back of the house, and called the police.

Once notified, the police arrived in two minutes. (That's not fabricated.) They pointed their pistols at the robber and told him to drop his gun. When he didn't follow directions precisely, they shot off his white balls, which dripped the last of his testosterone all over the kitchen floor.

Cuffed and booked, Mr. Felon was dragged to 201 Poplar and thrown in jail with a group of sex starved men. He couldn't sleep for fear of one of his fellow prisoners attacking him in the night. 

Not exactly the story, but hopefully they'll catch this thug and shoot his balls off, anyway.