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Sunday, April 1, 2012

#AtoZ: Abducted by Aliens

Every now and then, there comes a time in a blogger's life when we feel compelled to share something private that we know we probably should keep to ourselves. Here's my story:

Back in the early 1970s, twelve year old me was abducted by aliens. I know you're probably thinking I'm nuts but if you read on, this just might make sense. I was upstairs brushing my teeth when these round red things tumbled out of my ear, grew to my size, and said, "You shall leave this earthy milieu and tailgate with us to our distant territory."

My heart pounded in my chest as I barely squeaked out the words, "Say what?"

They touched each other's digits, that protruded from their hips and said, "Approach with us."

I screamed.

Mom darted up the stairs and banged on the bathroom door, "Joyce! What's wrong?"

Before I could answer, these weird, fat aliens whisked me away in a storm of dull light circulating around me and giving off a scent like strawberries dipped in bleach.  My woozy head turned like Linda Blair's from the Exorcist, yet my vocal cords locked in place.

I landed in their space ship. I think. It didn't hover in the sky nor ground itself on Earth. I shook on a platform in some cave where red water splashed then echoed off its walls.

I've been afraid to speak of this experience because it's kinda embarrassing, especially when I peed my pants in front of the aliens. They made some high-pitched noise that didn't sound like laughing, but maybe it was. Who knows with space creatures? Then they strapped me to a gurney and touched me with their side digits. The moisture from my wet underwear instantly dried along with the tears in my eyes, saliva in my mouth and anything else containing bodily fluid. My fingers looked like prunes and I figured I'd die from dehydration. Next, a being bent down and whispered in my ear, "April Fools."



31 comments:

Claudia Moser said...

The end was unexpected, well done!

Duta said...

Brilliantly written story, relevant pictures and..a surprise ending!

Amy McMunn Schindler said...

AAAHHHahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!

A-bsolutely A-wesome!

danneromero said...

Awesome! You had me me at abducted. Great start!

Jenn said...

What a great story--of course I was looking for the April Fools!! HE HE. Loved it!

Kimberlee Turley said...

I wanted to do an April Fools joke but wasn't sure how I'd fit one into the A-Z theme.

Bravo. So many A- words, this was great to read.

Sandee said...

Very well done. I haven't been up long so the ending took me by surprise too.

Have a terrific April Fools day and Silly Sunday too. :)

Francene said...

SOOO funny. Loved the picture. The first on, that its. And the second one.

November Rain - k~ said...

Oh Joyce, I have so missed your humour! This was a great start off for the blogfest A-Z!

April Fools indeed (laughs again and trails off to see other thangs).

A-Z 2012 (#861)
Bloggit Write A-Z 2012 - Haiku

SharleneT said...

Hello, Fellow Challenger, from #424-Rockin'Chair Reflections! Love it; love it; love it! Love your humor.

Sandra Tyler said...

OMG, LOVED this! Well, not just the April's fools' part but it's SO well written. Love the details; and I was believing you! Can't wait to read tomorrow's B. Hope you'll comee read my A today!

Word Nerd said...

You're a nut. :O)

Marquita Hockaday said...

Ha ha! I was NOT expecting that ending. Bravo--best April Fool's prank I've heard in a while.

Jo said...

Why did I not see that coming? hahahahahahhahahaha

Monkey said...

Coming over from A-Z. :) LOL! I was at first going huh? and then was like duh! Thanks for the laugh. :) Happy April fools!

Kathy said...

Ha ha ha, this was awesome, pure brilliance. Happy April Fool to you too!!

Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

Nick Rolynd said...

Ha ha! This is hilarious! xD Thanks for sharing.

ElizabethSheryl said...

Yay, good job with April Fool's. :D

KarenG said...

Good one! And the cartoon cracks me up. I'm here to say hi and welcome you to the Challenge!

KarenG

Elizabeth Twist said...

You jest, but I'm still stuck here trying to figure out what strawberries dipped in bleach would smell like.

Nice to meet you, Joyce! Looking forward to more funny stuff.

A-Z @ Elizabeth Twist

Jennifer Lane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer Lane said...

Duh, major typo above so I'm trying again.

I can't tell you how pleased I am that you were punking us. When I started reading your post I was thinking "We've got a live one here" LOL. This is only the second April Fools' joke of the day for me--I wonder if I'll get more before bed? Hilarious cartoon. Thanks for stopping by my blog and see ya for "B"!

Margo Dill said...

Cute story. Hysterical cartoon!

Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger said...

Funny story and cartoon!

This is me, Duncan D. Horne, visiting you from the A-Z challenge, wishing you all the best throughout April and beyond.

Duncan In Kuantan

Empty Nest Insider said...

Perfect story for April Fool's Day, and a great cartoon! Julie

Paula Martin said...

Ha ha, fun story - and great cartoon!

Sandra Tyler said...

like your writing enough to come back to read your B, but it ain't up yet! Boo:((

Sylvia Colette Branch said...

ha, did not see that coming - good show Joyce, good show ( in my best British accent )

zongrik said...

i love the cartoon

Bushman said...

I once had neighbors like that! Always showing up when your brushing your teeth. I fruited them!

Arlee Bird said...

Some real jokers those aliens, eh?


Lee
An A to Z Co-Host
Tossing It Out