CATCH MY WORDS to find help with teaching strategies, resources, or to enjoy a laugh or music. Blog connected to Catch My Products, the gifted department store with resources for K - 12.
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My humorous thoughts about life.
"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your
Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
With the doctors having a better lot, who else is going to park here? Nothing else is around. The sign must be to stop those trying to exercise by hiking two blocks to the shopping centerrather than park in that free lot.If people work out, they might get better and not need doctors. Selfish jerks!
I love the unexpected in film, whether it's a nerd in the shower or finding a golden ticket in a Wonka Bar. These are the little things that make movies worth watching because who wants to see the expected?
As a youngster, my family visited a quaint little park called Dog Patch USA, located in the Missouri Ozarks. This closed theme park was based on the L'il Abner comic strip and had a cute hillbilly charm about it. I don't remember much at my young age, but I'll never forget the unexpected when opening the door to the men's restroom. I would have used the ladies' room, but a sign told me it was out of order. When I opened the door, a deep voiced man sitting on the pot screamed, "Close the dang door! Doesn't anyone have any decency around here?" Turns out the unexpected man was a statue with a taped message sure to scare the pee out of anyone looking for a restroom. So Dogpatch!
Years later, I remember the unexpected in college. I don't know why the full length poster of George Michael hanging in my room was unexpected because I'm the one who taped it to the dang wall to begin with; however, he scared the begeeze out of me when I spied him standing over my bed in the middle of the night. Little did I know back in the eighties, that handsome man star would have been more interested in my husband than me. Double unexpected.
Now-a-days, the unexpected usually means something bad like the handle falling off the microwave, a tick on the dog, or most recently, a 95 year old man smashing my car door while I shopped inside the target. It's not a good sign to hear over the store speaker, "Will the owner of a black, Volkswagon convertible please come to the service desk?"
It's been two weeks and we're still driving the rental car and waiting for the repairs to be complete. Should it be expected to be without my car for so long? I don't think so. Unexpected was fun as a kid. Now, not so much.
After seeing a headline that made me laugh, I wondered what other ones were out there that could make for good silliness on a Sunday. There are plenty!
I've seen her look better.
Shocker!
I could actually see my city doing this.
Gotta love the obvious.
Good job!
It's Kenny!
How did that happen?
I could hear a kid saying that.
Never make "belittling" remarks to a midget.
And finally, here is the headline that had me laughing hysterically.
The guy can't even be a tourist without making an idiot of himself. I apologize to my British friends for his many gaffs and insults to your country. And I understand our Mid East allies now need an apology too after his visit to Israel. Can you say "Diplomacy FAIL?"
Today I visited the place where connections are made. I waited an hour to be a part of the connection, but that hour went fast because I had Ruta Sepetys' new book "Out of the Easy" about the daughter of a prostitute struggling to escape the New Orleans under world. Although I'm not quite halfway finished, it's already proving to be as amazing as her first book, "Between Shades of Gray." I'm back to revise because of the constant comments about this post, that has nothing to do with the book "Fifty Shades of Gray." Ruta Sepetys did NOT write a sex book. She wrote a young adult historical novel "Between Shades of Gray" that also made the New York Times best seller list. It's about Stalin, not sexual bondage. Yes, I've made a connection with Ruta's book, but that's not the connection I was waiting for.
Finally they brought me into the back office and fitted me into a stunning blue dress. Then the fun began! I placed a part of my anatomy between two plastic plates and finally the two pieces connected with a flat me inside. Until next year...
What are you looking down here for? A picture of me in the machine? Dream on. This is not that kind of humor blog.
What in life has left you breathless? If something did leave you breathless, wouldn't you be, uh, like dead? Living folks are certainly NOT breathless.
I can think of a few situations in which I've left one breathless. Years ago, I took a physiology class where many poor frogs' brains got scrambled by my lab partners. I never pithed a frog because I couldn't bring myself to turn a living creature into a vegetable. As awful as it was for those poor amphibians, one science experiment has stayed with me forever. It left the creature breathless.
Flat Frog Lungs
After pithing the frog, we removed it's lungs and connected them to a compression unit. I believe those flat gray things on the right are lungs; however, they enlarged quadruple the size and became pinkish with a little air pushed into them. Then we'd release the air and watch them deflate leaving the little guy breathless. This, dear readers, is the only time I've left anyone breathless... unless you count the flies I've swatted or spiders I've sprayed with Windex. I'm too scared to get close enough to smash them, so Windex does more than cure pimples.
I've also made myself almost breathless from running or heavy exertion. I remember doing a runners' series years ago. As depicted in the clip below, I felt like the hippo at the end of the stampede scene from Jumanji. Tired I was, but not totally breathless or I wouldn't be writing this post.
See the fat little hippo trailing behind the fast, fit animals?
That's me on the left.
I wonder if I've ever left a reader temporarily breathless when they laughed so hard they couldn't breath. Hopefully, no one died from reading my blog. Then again, if one laughed that hard, one would eventually pass out, pee one's pants, and life would continue. Whew! Dodged that murder rap. Death by surfing. Whether good or bad, shocking events make me breathmore. If someone were to stick a gun to my head, I'd hyperventilate from fear. Then maybe I'd faint, in which case I'd be breathing less than I had before, but I still wouldn't be breathless. Why did the infamous they define "breathless" as short on breath due to excitement or other strong feelings? It doesn't work that way!
If I caught sight of something magnificent, like the Grand Canyon or a snow-capped mountain, once again, I think I'd go into a state of breathmore with the thrill of it all.
The English language is strange in how we define our words. Next time you see something stupendous, think about it. Does it leave you breathless or breathmore?
This week's topic is distractions. I'd write about it, but I must take a shower first. I think best in water anyway. This is a family friendly blog, so don't even think about looking for a shower photo.
I didn't take a shower, but I folded laundry and watched the end of "While You Were Sleeping." I love that movie! Although I've seen it bagillion times, I still tear up at the final scene. I'd finish this blog post, but I've got to go to the eye doctor and one day this week I need to pop by school and pick up my portable key. If I don't get my room together before school starts, it will be a rough beginning to the school year. Perhaps I'll even stop by Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get coffee cups for my Kerig machine. I have a 20% off coupon. It's expired, but BB&B will take any coupon no matter when the expiration date.
You know what's weird? My computer told me I'd misspelled "expiration." I tried various letter combinations before deciding to look it up. Ironically, when I typed the word into my dictionary, I suddenly knew how to spell it. Why is that? It happens all the time.
Where was I, oh yes. Contacts. I'll finish this later.
I haven't left the house. My husband called. We have an additional guest coming in August. We are housing four boys for the Maccabi event in Memphis. We originally requested four kids but had only gotten three, so an additional visitor is good news. I called his mother and sent an email.
Mitchell is coming home, so I'm not going to head out yet. I put some eggs on the stove and am making egg salad for lunch. The eggs should be about ready so I need to toast some bread. I've been meaning to chop up the celery. I guess I'll do that too.
I'm supposed to write about distractions, but I've decided that's a silly topic that I know nothing about. I have no distractions in my life.
As I listen to my older sister saw logs, I am reminded of the best educational tidbits I've received, all from her. Bev and I grew up sharing an attic bedroom; however, I never snapped a picture of the slanted ceiling, yellow walls, green carpet, or gigantic window overlooking our driveway. This is why our childhood room is only in my mind and not on my blog.
Bev was notorious for talking in her sleep, thus giving me a great education and entertainment. While sleeping, she told me about being in the corner with Rusty. Mm hm. My favorite nighttime activity was the time I told her how she didn't like chocolate then listened to vehement sleep cries that she did. Then with further prompting, she begged me for the nonexistent candy bar.
Bev also educated me during our waking hours. Before I entered middle school, she explained the full list of dirty words and what they meant; however, she refused to tell me the meaning of the "f word" because it was just too naughty to explain. I'm still waiting to find out.
To make sure I never rotted out my lungs with a horrid habit, Bev forced an unfiltered cigarette on me in grade school. Yep! It was nasty enough that to this day I am not a smoker.
I am currently in Dayton because her daughter just had a bridal shower. I passed a naughty bit of lingerie to Bev's daughter. This thing was given to me twenty-six years ago by guess who? ... although sister Barb was just as much to blame. I'd go into detail about it, but knowing that my daughters frequent my blog, I best not inform you about that bit of education. I am, however, happy to say that it is no longer mine.
Ahh, education. I bet you thought my post would be all about my teaching job. Psych!
I love the unexpected in film, whether it's a nerd in the shower or finding a golden ticket in a Wonka Bar. These are the little things that make movies worth watching because who wants to see the expected?
I am currently in Dayton because her daughter just had a bridal shower. I passed a naughty bit of lingerie to Bev's daughter. This thing was given to me twenty-six years ago by guess who? ... although sister Barb was just as much to blame. I'd go into detail about it, but knowing that my daughters frequent my blog, I best not inform you about that bit of education. I am, however, happy to say that it is no longer mine.
