Motherly Advice Before Mother's Day

Baby Escapes Papoose for Dad Time!

I've always been told I'm a good mother. Of course that's not what my kids say. They think I'm embarrassing, but I'm just enjoying payback. How many times do or did your kids make you want to hide under a store clothing rack? Sometimes they'd humiliate me so much that I'd loudly announce, "Aunt Joyce is going to return you kids to your mama!"

Little did I predict, they now occasionally call me Aunt Joyce when in public.

Since my kids grew up to be fine adults, I'm allowed to give free parenting advice. First of all, the baby stage is the most important time for human development. Each day, I'd get up, get dressed, and strap my baby into a snuggle sack. I'd walk around all day with that baby attached to my chest like a papoose. While wearing my baby, I'd hug, kiss, and stroke a little back. This gave the young one security that let them know they were loved and cared for. That way, later on when I screwed up, they had the self esteem to handle it.

Later, I broke my back, probably from years of strain from constantly carrying babies, but I'd do the same thing all over again . . .  with regular visits to the chiropractor.

Another free tip: it is crucial for parents to be the adults in the family. I get so frustrated

Control your kids!

when I see moms or dads give in to whining or crying kids. For example, two years ago, a three or four year old ran onto a stage and disrupted a school talent show. The daddy chased that bad boy across the stage before catching him because the brat would not mind by coming when called. How appalling to be back stage and hear Dad repeatedly apologize to the kid because he couldn't be on stage! WTF? If he were my kid, he'd be in serious trouble for not listening. 

You're probably thinking I'd tear his butt up, but you're wrong. I never spanked or hit any of my kids. We used to press their noses against a wall for time out, take away toys or privileges, or worst of all, not let them brush their teeth! Actually, we only threatened to take away toothbrushing. That was scary enough to get the kids to do what we wanted without having to carry out the punishment.

These are only a few free tips, I have more, but posts should be short. So in conclusion, kiss those babies until their cheeks turn red, be the boss over your kids, and enjoying embarrassing your adult children. After twenty-one years of putting up with their crap, you'll have earned it.

#WW Wordless Wednesday Meets the Wiener Man

The royals were not the only visitors to Memphis this week.

Meet Sam the Wiener man!

And his amazing wiener mobile.

♭♬♩Oh. I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener. ♪♫♩

Monday Music Moves Me, Puts Me in the Mood, and Feels So Good

Monday Music Moves Me theme is something jazzy. Post anything with brass and you're dancing!

Back in my college days, I was part of the Jazz, Blues, and Folk Committee where we'd bring big names to campus and see them back stage. I remember BB King walking in with his big bucket of KFC and a nasty manager who wouldn't let us near him; Pat Metheny giving us a private piano concert while we cleared his stage; and Leon Redbone's deep voice. But my favorite of all was Chuck Mangione. Here's one that Feels So Good.

Here's another fun one with lots of brass.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

The A - Z Challenge

Hurry. Hurry. Post each day.

We post each day until it's May.

I done it once,

I done it twice,

I definitely have done it thrice.

Maybe I've even done it four.

It's got me shouting, "No more! No more!"

It's not that A to Z isn't fun.

It's a game to be played by everyone.

However, now that I've had my fun each year.

The time has come to make it clear . . .

I'm done.

It's hard to believe on my first year,

Daily April posting was so dear.

I had so much fun that I must say,

I posted Z - A in May.

I guess I'm getting older, folks.

Not enough time to read your jokes.

To not visit another blog,

makes me feel like an A-Z hog.

So my mind's made up on this day,

I'm through with this April game to play.

If next year I should sign the list,

STOP ME!

#WW #AtoZ : Z is for Zip Drive

When someone sends pictures, the little icon says, 

"Do you want to open as a Zip Drive?" 

Here are some old family photos that arrived via zip.

My grandfather, grandmother, infant cousin, and mother (circa 1932).

I think these are my mother's siblings (circa 1920).

Unfortunately, none of the people in the photos are around to ask.

 

#AtoZ : Y is for You

Thank you to all the wonderful people who have been regular visitors to my blog. You make it happen!
Without you, I'd be another frustrated comedian wanna be with no audience. Yet, you visit my blog and tell me I'm funny. That makes my day.

On another Y note, we visited an aunt who is 91 years young. She told me I am pretty. Her daughter told us, she's been speaking a lot of nonsense . . . although not in that order. Since, I'm beautiful, I took a couple selfies just for you. I think they may be suitable for framing beside your Farrah Fawcett poster.

A kiss for you!

Oh, and please, don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Actually, at the risk of sounding tacky, I may be prettier than Farrah, Marilyn Monroe, and Audrey Hepburn, too. But we can't be sure until someone digs up their graves and checks out how they look. I just might have them beat these days.

#MM & #AtoZ X for Xanadu

Remember Olivia Newton John in Xanadu? 
Great music but movie, not so much.

That's me!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

#AtoZ : W for Winning

"We're going to the tournament to have fun. 

The way you have fun is you win!"

                                             ~Richard Bute    

Memphis Futbol Club Soccer Coach

Every year our city celebrates Memphis in May where we honor a country and teach students about a foreign land. This year the country of honor is Panama. I attended a teacher's conference and presented my students with interesting facts about Panama so that they could enter the Memphis in May writer's contest. Not to brag, but I typically have a winner of this contest each year. This year, I was blessed with two winners! 

Second Prize went to Lauren for her story about painting the golden altar in Panama black to keep

pirate Captain Henry Morgan from stealing it from the church. Her story was rich with historic detail and smoothly written; however, other than giving her the background information, I can't take credit for her writing ability. She entered my class a few months ago, so I have not had a lot of time to develop her writing.

Santiago, my first place winner, came to my class close to the beginning of the year and was not the writer he is now, so I'll take credit for his success. His early writing was cluttered with boring "be" verbs that he has learned to replace with his rich vocabulary. This is a kid who reads constantly, and as a result, his vocabulary is better than that of most adults. He has also learned to use multiple senses in his writing and strong descriptive nouns. I am kicking myself for not saving his early work because it would be a great artifact for my professional development evaluation. 

Here is the first paragraph from his winning entry. It's hard to believe that this was written by a fifth grader.

The Hunt

     Crawling close to the ground, I stalked my prey. I got as close as I could. Then I lunged and with a quick snap of my jaws, the bird was dead. It tasted as sweet as the juice that came from a monkey's meat. I padded my way back to my home, a rocky overhang curtained with leaves; my prize hanging from my mouth. As I sprinted my way back home, my spotted coat blended in the shadows caused by the leafy canopy. The sweet fragrance of the star-shaped flowers wafted around me. The meaty taste of prey filled my hunger. I was home.

We enter contests for fun, but it is most fun to win!

#AtoZ "V" for Very Happy About Teachers Pay Teachers #TPT

I've blogged about Teachers Pay Teachers before, but it's time to bring it up again because this site has become a wonderful business for me. I have a store at TPT that contains 246 teaching products, and I am constantly adding more. Every product is for sale with items listing from Free to $15.

These are items that I've made for my students and sell to other teachers. Since joining Teachers Pay Teachers in February, 2013, I've sold 452 products and earned $1,074.72. I use these dollars for groceries, gas, and normal life instead of looking at it as extra income. It's really not extra pay, since I took a pay cut when our school system was part of a hostile take over from the city schools. It's a long story, but to make it short, my earnings from http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Gifted-And-Talented-Materials-By-Joyce-Lansky still does not add up to my pay loss this year.

 So if you're a teacher, I'd love for you to stop by my store and check out my products. I try to keep them inexpensive because I know teachers don't make excessive amounts of money, especially for all of the extra hours we put in.

 

I have many literary units, math lessons, writing activities, logical thinking activities, as well as lessons to go along with holidays. I even have a freshly posted Tired Teachers Logic problem that contains my humor and sells for $1.  And, if you stop by my store between Sunday and the end of April, you'll find all my products on sale for 10% off!

Also, I'd love for you to follow Gifted and Talented Materials By Joyce Lansky at TPT. As a side note, I may start a new blog this summer related to my TPT store. Hopefully, the blog will get the word out.

Remember:
Sunday, April 27 - Wednesday, April 30 = 10% Discount!

#AtoZ : U for Universe

Did you hear the news? Our space program has discovered a planet just like ours and only 500 light years away. I wonder if this planet has intelligent life. I figure the good Lord must have put something of intelligence on another planet because we sure wouldn't want the survival of all life to depend on humans. 

The President in His Royal Limo

Speaking of intelligent humans, have you seen the satirical movie Idiocracy? Luke Wilson plays the most intelligent person in the world when he time travels to a future society where only dumb people have reproduced and as a result, the populace is filled with those of substandard IQs.

Scary stuff, but looking at the stats, we just may be headed that way while geniuses work on their PhDs with no time to be fruitful and multiply.

To further prove my point, "the person may be smart, but people are dumb," here are the latest thoughts of the highly intelligent.

I fear for the future!

#AtoZ Letter "T" #WW The TV is Sick

#AtoZ: I'm Going to Be Sagging Soon!

It's been a long time coming, but I finally can see myself sagging. To really sag a lot, I must spend time around an abundance of food, such as cookies, crackers, fruits, and gels. Maybe, one day I'll sag more than anyone in town.

But I wish I didn't have to sag in the early morning hours. 

Whatever it takes to support Superman as he leads the training for the Century 100 Mile Ride, again. Did you think I was talking about my body sagging? Ha! I'd rather bike than sag, but the cars passing close on the road scare me enough to wet my pants. So I'll just sag.

#AtoZ Musical Tribute Brought to You by The Letter 'R'

Reo Speedwagon

"Ridin' the Storm Out"

Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Right on Time"

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!