Theme Thursday: Mysterious Pepper Fun

sweet male

While shopping at Kroger, I learned that peppers have sexes: four bumps on the bottom is a female pepper, which is firm and good for cooking, while the three bump variety means a sweet male. I never knew vegetables were sexual beings. Of course, the way they dance around the vine, it shouldn't surprise anyone to learn of magic in the field.

So the females have more bumps and curves. Hm? Furthermore, girl peppers carry more seeds that make her

bloated female

heavier, kinda like that time of the month, although they are permanently bloated.

I also have to wonder if sweet males like to hang on vines with other sweet male peppers or do all peppers have fun together? If the males and females hang together, is it like one big vegetable orgy?

Every time I think I've heard it all, I learn more. I guess some peppers grow red after hanging around with their bumpy bottoms showing. 

Woo baby! Wanna hang on my vine?

You'll never think of peppers the same way, will you?

Wordless Wednesday: My Freezer-The Post I Never Wrote

Promote Your Book Bloghop: Meet and Greet

While catching up on blog visits, I learned that I'm signed up for a Meet and Greet blog hop. I don't remember signing up, but then again, I don't remember much these days.

So, listen up Buttercup: since I rarely answer questions about myself, please seize the opportunity to learn secrets about me. I bet you didn't even know I can touch my nose with my tongue and have the rarest common blood type, AB Negative. But no one wants to know that.

This is what was asked . . .

What is your favorite animal?  

My dogs, or course

 

Where have you traveled to (outside of your country), and what's been your favorite destination? 

I'm an American who has traveled to France, Italy, Ireland, Israel, Canada, Mexico, and Bermuda. Each place has been wonderful, so it's hard to choose a favorite. I enjoy warm places with oceans and beaches, but then again history rocks!

How many siblings do you have?
I have one brother and two sisters, and they are all older than me, which means they are REALLY old.

 

Are you a lefty or a righty?

I'm a lefty, which means I'm in my right mind. The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right side of the brain controls the left side, so us left handed people are the only ones in our right minds.

Since picking a favorite book is nearly impossible, who is your favorite author or which one has had the most influence on you in your writing career?

I love Margaret Peterson Haddix and Gordon Korman. Peterson for her heart-pumping action and Kormen for making me laugh. There are many other fab authors. As far as who has most influenced my writing career, it would have to be all of those Midsouth authors who I've met through SCBWI. Josh Adams, Peterson's agent, will be at our next SCBWI conference. Woo hoo!

Joyce Lansky teaches intellectually gifted children, is active in SCBWI, and has completed five novels. In May 2011, she published a story in AppleSeeds magazine, a division of Carus. She currently blogs at Catch My Words. If her blog makes you laugh, please inquire about her MG and YA humor manuscripts that are looking for a home. jlanskyATcomcastDOTcom.

Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

Memphis, Tennessee

Part of Memphis in May is the ever popular Beale Street Music Festival, which brings a plethora of sought after rock stars to entertain the young. Along with the musicians comes thunder storms every dang year, but rain or shine the party continues.

Photo by Judy Lansky

Last night, my girls ventured downtown to enjoy the festivities. My daughter posted on Facebook, "I just fell more in love with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (if that is even possible) #edwardsharpe #iloveyou #bealestreetmusicfest." 

So I asked what every mother of my persuasion asks, "Is he Jewish?" 

She said, "No Mom. That's the name of the band not the singer."

I looked up the band on Youtube and found this must share video. Adorable!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

 

#GBE2 : How To Be A Slob

This week's GBE2's topic is "write a how to post." My freshman English teacher gave

me this same assignment at the University of Missouri. Not knowing which topic to choose, my  roommate and I brainstormed topics. When the idea of, "How to be a slob" came up, I turned to Rhonda (Laugh Quotes) and said, "How do you be a slob? You're so good at it?"

She said,  "I'll show you." Next, she opened my underwear drawer and dumped everything out of it. So I did the same to hers. And the next drawer, and the next . . . before long we were tossing everything in the room into the air, to the point where we'd attracted an audience in the hall who couldn't understand why we were laughing.

That Dear Readers, is how 

 one becomes a slob.

#AtoZ Meets #WW: Z for Zombies!

I worry about my daughter.

She wears too much makeup.

Plus, she's been chasing after men.

I think she's in with the wrong crowd.

#AtoZ Meets Musical Monday Y for Yankovic Sings YODA

Humor blogger I am, hmm. Now day Y it is so an old favorite by Weird Al Yankovic, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo-Yoda I present.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

--YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

#AtoZ X for eXpelling Gas

My son summed it best in eight grade when he said, "When I was in sixth grade and someone farted, it wasn't funny, but now it's hilarious!"

What is it about eXpelling gas, a normal function of the human body, that make so many chuckle? The average person farts ten times a day. That's average. Of course statistically, one could find a range of 287, so to be accurate, wouldn't we need to know the mode and median too? For example, although the mean is ten, maybe most
people only fart nine times per day; however, the day of the count, Rush Limbaugh farted 264 times. Would he be considered an outlier or did he mess up the whole dang curve?

Is there an Institute of Fartology? If so, who works there?

"My name is Dr. Jones, and I count farts for a living." I bet he's the life of the party! A real gas if you know what I mean.

Furthermore, do these statistics count dead guys? A friend who's an undertaker told me that dead people constantly eXpel gas; however, this gas doesn't just exit from below. It could sneak out of a joint causing a sudden flip of a wrist or foot twitch. I wonder, does cadaver gas smell better, worse, or the same as living farts? I'll have to ask my friend. It just goes to show, we still have a lot of research to do in this scientific field.

#AtoZ: W for Word Verification

Please don't ask me to copy letters I can't read or blurry numbers. Also, I don't want to solve math problems. It's about time Math solved it's own problems and admitted that X left and is never coming back. I'm referring to the infamous captcha that makes me want to leave your blog and never return.

I once used word verification, but at the request of a regular commenter, I took it down. Since then, I've enjoyed an increase in blog comments. I do NOT get spam from a lack of word verification. If you're worried about spam, enact comment approval.

That's a Q, not an O

I hope my blog is easy to comment on. If it moves slowly, I can provide fewer posts on the main page or further clean up the side pictures. Do the fish at the bottom need to go? Did you even know my blog has fish?

Thanks for catching my words!

                                  

#AtoZ: V for Very Special Blogs

I want to highlight three Very Special blogs that I visit regularly.

http://bethere2day.com is a fun place for online randomness. Steve, from London, posts funny jokes, stories, and cartoons regularly that always make me laugh. Please check him out.

I also visit Rhonda daily at http://www.laugh-quotes.com. Rhonda has traveled all over the world and entertains with amazing and humorous stories. She's worth a click.

Finally, Binky and friends make me laugh every Monday & Thursday. These adorable comics, complete with colorful artwork, give a peek into the world of wombats. Find him at: http://www.comics.wombania.com.

I couldn't get through the week without a laugh from these Very Special blogs! Therefore, I am presenting the Very Special Blog award to these bloggers. The rules are to give this award to 87 others and write 98 facts about yourself. Just kidding! You don't have to do anything, but I'd love to know that you saw this post.

#AtoZ: U Urban Dictionary

One can define kid speak with the help of Urban Dictionary. To tap into this wealth of information, just enter a word, and the definition pops up. 

For example, neathage is the opposite of cleavage. I didn't even know there was a word for a woman's boob hanging out from the bottom of her shirt.
  

Or an Introdouche is someone who introduces himself by bragging about useless accomplishments. You can also achieve introdouche status by introducing your girlfriend as a "friend."

 

Furthermore, spend some time with Urban Dictionary, and you'll find gazillion different types of boogers: phantom, bloody, leaf, runaway, happy, ten dollar, ingrown, bat, or cape––the list goes on and on. 

I'm not sure if my kids know all the definitions at Urban Dictionary, but they are upstanding citizens who would never wheez the juice or become illegal gymigrants.

So whether you want to achieve coolness or to understand what your son means when he asks you to text poon to his friend, check out Urban Dictionary.

#WW Meets #AtoZ: T Taunting Squirrels

"This squirrel is a huge jerk!"

Photo and caption by Judy Lansky