Wordless Wednesday: Erica's Hot Friends

 

Erica is having fun at college partying with her professor and a few friends. She said, "If sexual orientation is a choice, I chose to be straight the first time I saw a six pack!" 

Whoo, hoo! 

Don't get burnt by the hotness around you, Baby.

Silly Sunday: The Monkey Whisperer

 

One of my fifth graders made me this delightful, little sign that proudly hangs in my classroom. Like everything else, there is a story behind it; and yes, it's silly enough for a Sunday.

I started this school year with a fabulous tale about how I spent my summer vacation. Okay, it wasn't really what I did over my months off because kids don't want to hear about their teacher laying around the house after surgery. Instead, I told a stunning lie about my trip to Africa with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 

To make my story believable, I began by showing the kids a picture of young Brad Pitt in my University of Missouri yearbook. Once I had the logical reason of how I know him, I spoke about how Brad and Angelina wanted a pet monkey for their many kids. Furthermore, since I speak to monkeys, they wanted my help with this endeavor. 

To add interest to the story, I did my monkey imitation, which is quite good if I do say so myself. "Hoo, ha, ha, ha, ha." After I talked a monkey out of attacking Angelina, she invited me to California to act in her movie, Jane's Journey, about Jane Goodall the monkey lady.

My great, great, great, great, great, great, great whatever

My students' mouths dropped as they said, "Really?"

I said, "No, but it was a fun story, wasn't it?" 

This led into a writing prompt about "the summer you wish you had," which is a lot better than the boring, "Write about your summer vacation."

In conclusion, the kids have dubbed me a monkey whisperer, and thus the sign. ☺

Theme Thursday: Temptation

I'll never forget that day back in the seventh grade when my classmate placed a cheat sheet under a desk during a test. Although the scrap of paper was in my clear view, I told myself I wouldn't look at it, but oh, the temptation when I came to that one question I didn't know. I took a quick peek before writing the answer. Next came the guilt. No one knew I cheated but God and myself; however, I was so bothered by this one event, that I never cheated on another test again.

Unfortunately, my college classmates did not resist the cheating temptation. The professor broke us into teams and had each group write five test questions to go along with his questions. I studied for that test only to find myself totally shocked when I learned about rampant cheating throughout my class. Apparently, many of my classmates, in helping people professions, passed questions from group to group. My faith in humanity was shattered.

Looking back, maybe I should be glad I broke temptation in that seventh grade class for if I hadn't, perhaps I'd never know how awful feeding into temptation feels.

I know of two people who have misread my actions and believed me to not be of high moral character. How does one convince another that they are totally wrong once the mind is made up? Being one who has always prided herself on having a strong moral character, this is one of the most frustrating and offensive things in my life; however, sometimes people believe what they want to believe whether it's reality or not.

Wordless Wednesday: Who Done It?

We left our jar of sunflower seeds on our kitchen countertop with the lid securely fastened; however, when we got home, we found the jar empty.

The teeth-mark covered lid was close to the empty jar.

We have three suspects to this crime.

Suspect #1. Honey Bear

Honey Bear

Our four year old golden retriever who has never done anything wrong in our years together.

HB's Chompers

Suspect #2 Millie

Silly Millie

Although six year old Millie likes to chew, she is a bit vertically challenged when it comes to countertops. 

Millie's Chompers

 The red top did not fit in Millie's little mouth.

Suspect #3. Ruby (The Logo Dog)

Five-year-old Ruby has a long history of multiple crimes. Her favorite chew toys consist of underwear and Millie. This crazy granddog came to stay with us last month because her master is in the process of moving to Nashville. When the dogs were asked about the crime, Ruby was the lone ducker. 

Ruby's chompers

So I ask you Dear Readers, who done it?

GUTGAA Meet and Greet

I am joining Deana Barnhart's week of fun. To get in on the action, hop over to her blog at GUTGAA. Now for the meet and greet I will give you the rare opportunity to get to know me by answering her questions.

-Where do you write?

Where don't I write? I like to sit at the dining room table, kitchen table, or curled on my love seat, preferably with a little love dog by my side. 

-Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see?

I spy with my little eye a Millie dog stretch on the couch. That's right, she's not on my lap this time.

-Favorite time to write?

I like to write on week end mornings or at night. 

-Drink of choice while writing?

While writing, I'll occasionally sip a cup of coffee (mornings), water, or Crystal Light sweetened water. Currently I have nothing to drink and my mouth is a bit parched. Excuse me while I fetch a cup of water.

Ah. That's better, but now I have to–TMI. My Honey Bear dog likes to push the door open for a little toilet love. 

-When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence?

I'm what you call adaptable. Sometimes I write in silence while at other times the TV drones in the background. If I'm in a serious writing mood or struggling to make progress, I'll dim the lights and wrap my head around a bit of classical music. 

-What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it?

When I was a child, my mother told me to never eat anything unwrapped on Halloween. Being obedient to a fault, year after year I passed up Mrs. Zimmerman's amazing homemade donuts because, yeah, they weren't wrapped. 

This gave me the idea of a child strangled in a cocoon of mother trying to break free into a fun but daring life. Not that my mom was overly protective, she wasn't, but I've known helicopter parents who breed children who can't do a thing for themselves. These kids need a story about too much mother love. Furthermore, a third grader with a spiky Mohawk and lots of personality gave me my main character's mentor and thus MRS. ZIMMERMAN'S DONUTS was hatched.

-What's your most valuable writing tip?

Replace "be" verbs with action verbs. I know it's basic, but I've see many writers ignore this beginning writing tip. Those who learn to strengthen verbs blossom to a whole new level.



 

Silly Sunday: Knock Knock Jokes

Would you like a knock knock joke this week?

Okay.

You go first.

 

For more fun, click on the link to 

Knock Knock Jokes.

Theme Thursday: Eyes

I know you think these smiling eyes belong to some great celebrity, and you may be right... but not yet. Mrsupole asks if one can smile with their eyes. I certainly believe it as proven in the above photo, but what do smiling eyes mean? Is the barer smiling because she is up to no good or perhaps she knows a secret that she dare not tell. Wouldn't it be great to be able to pop into anyone's head and know what they're thinking? Or perhaps the thoughts of others might not be so wonderful, especially when they're thinking how weird you are.

I've always been an eye girl. Some women like to stare at male six packs, booties, or beards, but not me. I'll take a pair of sexy peepers any day. As a result, my husband has great eyes. Round, dark pools of warmth snatched me early in our dating. I guess it was his eyes because he couldn't hold a tune even if it were hot glued to his hands. In fact, he sings so badly that his high school music teacher told him to shut up and lip sync. I guess that educator wasn't enticed by beautiful eyes. Neither was the wet fool next to the "malfunctioning" wave pool in the high school science lab. Tee hee.

Do you want to know why the eyes up top are smiling? Okay, I'll tell you. It's the result of repeatedly holding a camera phone to one's own eyes and snapping stupid picture after stupid picture. Glad no one was home to see that one!

Let's end this with a little celebrity eye game. Guess whose eyes and if I don't forget the answers by the time I tally up my responses, I'll tell you if you're right.

A.

B.

C.

#Wordless Wednesday: First Days

My daughter sent me this cartoon, and I could relate to it all too much. How about you?

#GBE2: Peace

In the midst of those noisy screaming matches, I always told my kids, "Parents don't want fair, they want peace." Apparently, we weren't the only ones wanting a little quiet now and then. After a visit to the Chinese restaurant, I found someone else out to get some peace. 

 

Now let's give this some thought, why would a cookie need sleep? They don't have eyes to see kids tugging over the same toy, ears to hear the "She looked at me cry," or even a sense of touch to feel the wrestling kids bump into it.

Cookies are never up late at night worrying about the kid who missed curfew or even bothered by dogs barking at the squirrels outside. Even a pesky fly wouldn't bother a fortune cookie. I'd say they're dead, but doesn't one need to live in order to die?

Throughout this stressful life, I have come to the conclusion that I will never truly be at peace until someone throws dirt over my dead body. If a dirt nap is the only way to truly be at peace, I guess I'll pass.

Watch the Pink Panther in his quest for peace.

Silly Sunday: Designated Drivers

 "Would you date a twenty-year-old?" she asked.

"Sure! That way I'd have a designated driver."

Her face turned crimson while her smile faded.

As if that wasn't enough of a controversy, he continued. "One day I'll get hitched, knock the girl up, and have nine months of a designated driver."

In comes the peanut gallery, "Of course if she nurses, you could have years."

Theme Thursday: Promises

On my honor,

I will try,

to do my duty,

to God and my country,

to help other people

at all times, 

and to obey the Girl Scout Laws.

We recited that promise before every meeting, yet I doubt if any of us truly knew the meaning of what we were saying. 

Honor means to fulfill an obligation when used in this context, but to a kid it means squat. Kids hear about "Honor Roll," that certificate one gets when achieving high grades, or calling a judge "your honor," but what is "on my honor" to a kid? Is that like sitting on a high bench like a judge or meaning you promise to make high grades. Reciting "On my honor" could have been the same as talking about cadavers–beyond kid vocabulary.

When saying I'd do my duty, I always got a chuckle because it sounded like going doo doo. I wonder if any other Girl Scouts giggled over that one. I never even knew what my duty was, so why promise it?

Doing doo doo to God sounds ominous, whereas Doo doo to my country sounds like I'm gonna fight a war. Yep! Little innocent children carried bombs to soldiers during Vietnam. I'm glad us green skirted girly girls weren't called upon to "do our duty." If we're not talking war time, how does a little girl "do duty to her country?"

"Helping other people" sounds like a keeper phrase, but at all times? What if the adult doesn't want help? What if the little girls just get in the way? Is it really necessary to help other people at all times?

Finally, we promised to obey the Girl Scout laws. What the heck were those laws? I don't think I ever knew.

Since this little promise is pointless, I'm going to present my own.

I promise

to try

to listen to the troop leaders

and not be a brat at meetings,

to help other people when they want my help,

and to learn the Girl Scout Laws. 

Then I'll find the lameness of them too and have more fun.