CATCH MY WORDS to find help with teaching strategies, resources, or to enjoy a laugh or music. Blog connected to Catch My Products, the gifted department store with resources for K - 12.
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My humorous thoughts about life.
"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your
Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.
PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!
Listen
up, ladies. Have I got the guy for you. He's smart, good looking, and
single. Since today is my son's twenty-fifth birthday, it's time to find
him a wife. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he's a
pathetic loser who's short on women, he has plenty of dates. They just
aren't my type.
Daniel likes Barbie
dolls--beautiful, blonde, high-healed women who are definitely not
kosher. I think this obsession with Barbies started in preschool when he
played with his sisters' dolls in the bathtub. He'd grab them by the
waist and fly them through the air while making airplane noises. In the
end, the poor Barbies would crash into the wall and maybe lose their
empty heads. Don't worry, ladies. He's always a gentleman with living women.
Anyway, my son needs a nice Jewish girl with a kind heart,
intelligence, and an excellent sense of humor. She'd have to have one to
fit into our family. Plus, liberal wouldn't hurt! Send me your resume,
that is if I'm still alive after posting letter F, which also stands for
Mom FAIL.
I think this kid just might have my sense of humor too. Plus, he has...
There are a lot of great fields to study, but it would be best to be a dam engineer. Dam people earn a lot of money for dam jobs. Plus, dam engineers gain respect for dam work. I bet they even get dam awards.
Furthermore, dam engineers will help you with your dam property or will construct a dam, unlike others who won't give a dam. Just ask dam scientists for help, and they will draw a dam plan. Plus, they care about dam safety enough to form dam societies. Did you know there are societies for the dam British and the dam Americans?
Unfortunately, sometimes dam construction can interfere with people's lives due to dam flaws; however, I'm sure dam engineers will successfully fix dam problems.
Having put two kids through college and a third currently away, rising school costs are akin to sticking a vacuum hose into a wallet and sucking money out. As a result, I'm always looking for ways to make and save money. Voila! Here is an idea for the student studying french or event management, like my kid. CampusBookRentals.com provides students with the opportunity to save 40-90% off book store prices. They provide free shipping, both ways, allow kids to highlight in books, are flexible about renting periods, and donate to Operation Smile. You can learn more about CampusBookRentals.comby clicking the video below.
Also, check out their rent back program. This new initiative allows students to rent back books they own. A kid could earn two to four times more money than what they'd make through other buyout options.
Finally, here's a college joke in keeping with the spirit of my humor blog: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In
English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some
languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a
negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can
form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah,
right."
After five completed manuscripts and years of writing, I'm thrilled to announce that I found a terrific agent who is howling to represent me and Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts! I'm referring to the wild and wonderful Agent Harold Wolfe of The Wolfe Literary Agency in New York City. Mr. Wolfe has been prowling the book market for several years and, as a result, has sunk his teeth into his own unique style. In fact, he hates query letters, stating that he'd rather talk to someone than read a letter; so, Mr. Wolfe invites authors to call his office (212) 439-6500 and ask for Harry Wolfe. What a rare species he is! He also welcomes visitors, so feel free to stop by his agency from 10:00-5:00 at the corner of: 64th Street and Fifth Avenue New York, New York 10021 For more information about Literary Agent Harold Wolfe, check out his website: http://tinyurl.com/ahfx8nu
What do you get when you cross Catch My Words with the month of April? Answer: The A-Z Challenge.
Starting Monday, 12:01 Central Standard time, I will be
participating in April's A-Z Challenge. This means twenty-six days of
laughs, one for each letter of the alphabet. Please stop by each day, Monday-Saturday.
Is this funny, interesting, or cool? Check
the box below and then hop back for a laugh on Monday.
I want to be very, very small. Not like midget small, kid small, or can't reach the cookie jar small–although that might help me achieve my goal––but size two small; so small I wouldn't weigh enough to donate blood. That way, I'd have no guilt about not giving as often as I should.
I was once small.
Furthermore, everything looks better on skinny people, except for heavy backpacks that knock feather weights to the ground. At a camp in Colorado, a counselor stuck a backpack on a small girl's back. Without an ounce of emotion, she fell over backwards. That girl was small.
Also, it would take a small girl to attract a Christian Grey. Scratch that. I DON'T want a Christian Grey; however, mentioning his name on my blog brings lots of visitors, so CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY. Ha! You got here because you were looking for a hot, sexy guy, didn't you? Fine! Don't get ticked, he's down below.
In answer to the old question, "Would you rather be beautiful or intelligent?" I might go for beauty, as in small and stupid. That way, I'd be too dumb to know what I'm missing. I'd flip my blonde hair into a bun and spend all day at the beach in my very, very small bikini. Which reminds me, Stephen King said, "The road to Hell is paved with adverbs."If that's the case, I'd settle for just being small, like a size six.
Ian Freaking Hot Somerhalder - You happy?
Enjoy this dance from a man who is very, very small.
Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.
PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!
