#GBE2: Please Send Some Clarity

Mick Jagger

Don Knotts

Is it me or do these two celebrities really look alike? I've always seen a resemblance between Mick Jagger and Don Knotts. Now for a good laugh, picture Don Knotts on stage dancing in rock and roll glitter… or Mick Jagger playing Barney Fife or the dentist in The Shakiest Gun in the West.

Now that would be funny.

                       

Above is one of my favorite movie scenes. Don Knotts attempts to become a dentist, but this patient gives him trouble.

 

Mick Jagger's singing is phenomenal, but every time he moves those big lips, I think, Don Knotts. Just ignore the hair, cool threads, and confident swagger while focusing on his face. Then picture Barney Fife ripping off his deputy shirt and tossing it across the police station. Do you see the resemblance? Clarity.

Here's a pair I often confuse. Do you? How about some clarity here?
                                       

Jeff Bridges

Nick Nolte

I guess all these white guys look alike. Is it clear who is who or do you ever watch a movie and ask yourself, Is that Jeff of Nick?

I also confuse these two and need more clarity…

Keira Knightly

Marty Feldman

  
  


 




Just kidding!

Silly Sunday: Redneck Hunting Accident

The Writer's Post: Walking Away

Walking away is normally not tough; but tonight, I just don't think I can manage it. See, several weeks ago, I think I did something to my leg in Mr. Mario's elementary school running group. The PE teacher had us hopping over cones. This is easy peasy for nine and ten year olds but not for old ladies like me. After that workout, the area behind my knee started to ache.

Mr. Mario said, "It sounds like your hamstring."
I told him, "Can't be. I'm Jewish, and Jews don't eat ham."
He didn't buy it.

I've lived with mild pain for almost a month, but it hasn't been too bad; so I've continued running. Sometimes it hurts when I start, other times when I'm in motion, but always after a good run. On Saturday, I ran five miles and felt it after mile four.

Today Mr. Mario had us sprinting the length and width of a soccer field then resting for a minute and a half before going at it again. Turns out some of those little turkeys have been making fun of my great running talent. They must be jealous because I am consistently last, and they haven't learned how to be consistent runners.

It's okay. I have tough skin, but my porkstring, not so much. I guess instead of walking away, I'll have to limp… and you expected a deeply emotional post about "Walking Away?" Pffft.

 Lashana Tova to all my Jewish friends. I'll be out of commission (and the refrigerator) for a good part of the week-end, so I'll catch you later.

#GBE2: Balance

I don't have great balance. In fact, if a cop pulled me over, I might get arrested if they asked me to walk a straight line, even if sober. It's just that balance has never been one of those natural tasks for me.

When I was a Girl Scout, our troop performed a dance in which we jumped through sticks. Being uncoordinated, the leader stuck a grass skirt around my waist and had me wave my arms like a hoola girl. Everyone was jealous that I got that job. Let's hear it for clumsiness!

Way back when, I took taek won do and actually developed some balance. Then I got pregnant, and it was gone. I've never found it again.

Oh. You mean we're supposed to write about having a balanced life? Balancing everything we have to do? Heck! I can't even balance my check book. And as for the serious side of balance, my life is so out of balance, it would make my dancing look good!

Wordless Wednesday: Why Women Live Longer Than Men

 

Any questions?

Silly Sunday Shorts

A fish swims into a wall--Dam!

A man walks into a bar--Ouch!

A blogger posts lame Silly Sunday jokes--D*mn! Ouch!

Please come back anyway. I have my work evaluation on Thursday, the middle section of my novel is due to my instructor on Friday, my house needs to be cleaned for company on Saturday, and I must complete progress reports for my intellectually gifted students who keep dry under the special education umbrella in the state of Tennessee.

Sorry for not visiting as much. Life has gotten hectic--D*mn! Ouch!

Please visit Rhonda at Laugh Quotes to link up to her Silly Sunday blog hop.

Writer's Post: The Road Block to Donuts

Here I am once again facing my biggest road block when I should be working on Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts. Will, my ten year old character, wants to be invited to the weekly donut party at Harrison Zimmerman's house, but to get an invite, he must be part of the in-crowd. For a kid like Wimpy Will, this could happen–like never.

But life changes when along comes Slater, a clever fifth grader with a pointy Mohawk on top of his rounded head. Slater is eager to teach Will how to transform into Knob, the cool tough soldier; but in order to succeed, Will must pass several tests.

He certainly could do this if I'd spend more time on the novel and less time on the blog! So what do you think is my biggest road block?

Below is my opening couple of paragraphs. The first draft manuscript is almost totally complete, but it feels like a young dog: bony and lanky. I need to go back and add some meat.

Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts

by

Yours Truly

            Every Friday after school, Harrison Zimmerman invited popular boys over for a stupid end-of-the-week celebration. His mom would fry up homemade donuts dipped in thick chocolate sauce. My mouth watered as we passed his house and I breathed in the scent of those gooey pieces of dough.   

Mom usually fell into a tantrum at the thought of me swallowing anything slightly junky. She fussed over eating healthy as if my gut would explode if the tiniest bit of sugar or grease tickled my insides. But the real reason I’d never eaten the donuts: Harrison had never invited me. Actually, no one had ever asked me to go anywhere.

Things were about to change.… if my author will get off the internet already. I'm a desperate boy in need of serious help! ARGGGHHH!

 

Wordless Wednesday: When Art Visits America

Michaelangelo's David before visiting America

… and after…

Meet his sponsors:

#GBE2: The Beautiful Legs Contest

Is this a good one?

As a mere elementary student, I was chosen from the audience at a high school carnival to decide which guy had the most beautiful legs. A paper screen covered their faces and torsos while I walked across the stage looking for a great pair of legs. To be honest, I didn't have a clue. What are good legs supposed to look like to someone with an age still in the single digits? Finally, I pressed my finger against some guy's knee and he reveled in his victory.

Today, I'm still not sure what makes a great pair of guy legs. I'm more of a face girl, maybe one who takes notice of a cute butt, but legs never did anything for me. So at a young age I learned that the secret to judging is to set a criteria. I still don't have one, so I'm asking for your help in case anyone else ever asks me to judge beautiful legs.

What makes male legs beautiful?

I'm leaving you with a funny leg clip because nothing is beautiful about a possessed leg!

I don't know why I still ask people to push the Picket Fence button, but go ahead if you want to.

Silly Sunday: Divorced Barbie

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?" 

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95."

The amazed father asks: "It's what? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls."

Thanks to Rhonda at Laugh Quotes. Click the link to find more jokes and fun.

The Writer's Post: Painted Leaf

 

When Jenn posted this leaf photo for our weekly prompt, the humor writer in me thought, what's funny about that?

To find humor, we must compare leaves to people. We're born small, grow large, and then shaky. At times we do things to make our faces turn red, then we plummet to the ground because that much color only comes when drunk or sunburned. 

So in conclusion, there is nothing funny about a color-changing leaf. Now leaf blowers: that's a different story.

Thanks to those who push the Picket Fence!

Wordless Wednesday: The Travelers

My kids are quite the travelers.

Erica enjoyed being on a tropical island.

Judy traveled to the bottom of the ocean … without a diving mask.

My child even visited the moon … without a space suit!

Welcome to another dimension – The Twilight Zone.

Erica even traveled back in time to her grandparents honeymoon!

But Daniel beats all because he's been to South of the Border!

Now it's your turn to travel to the Picket Fence and vote for me. Thanks!