#AtoZ : The Queen

Her hard, smooth body slides to capture whoever gets in her way. One space, or clear across the board, gives her power unlike the others. She cleverly works with her lower ranks to plan her attack. To lose her makes a win difficult at best for she is the queen.

"When you see a good move, look for a better one."

-Emanuel Lasker

“Strategy requires thought, tactics require observation”

-Max Euwe

“A bad plan is better than none at all”

-Frank Marshall

"Choose your move carefully in Chess as in life."

#AtoZ : Passover (Plague of Blood and Monthly Bloating)

Once I was a slave in Egypt. (If I didn't admit to having been a slave, I'd be the wicked son in the story we tell every year about Pharoah enslaving us.) Moses asked Pharoah to let us go, but he said, "Nada!" 

So God smote the Egyptians with a bunch of nasty plagues. For example Pharoah once in his bed, awoken with frogs on his head; frogs on his pillow, frogs on his toes, frogs on his shoulders, and frogs on his nose. At least that's what the song says. 

He also heard locust––annoying insects hopping around, boils––worse than bad acne, and blood––not the kind that comes each month, but that would have been a better punishment for a guy. I'd have given him cramps, bloating, and moodiness, too. There's many more plagues, but let's keep this short.

Jews aren't supposed to celebrate anyone's hardships, so we spill a drop of wine for each plague, and suffer from less wine. But all is cool. We get four cups at the seder. 

Returning to the story, the Jews left Egypt while baking bread. As a result, it didn't have time to rise and we have to eat tasteless, flat stuff that gives us gas. That's the Joyce's Digest version of Passover.

Your welcome.

#AtoZ : "O" Oh, no! What Happened?

Psych! 

Did I get you?

#WW #AtoZ : Nice Date

Remember prom night in high school? 
You wore your best to a high class restaurant. 
Then, you texted about it throughout dinner!

#AtoZ : Matzah

It's time again to give up real food for flat crackers that give one digestive problems. We can purchase all kinds of derivatives for matzah, such as matzah fartful, too. Oh, yeah, don't forget the Gas-Ex with the Passover supplies. And remember, Moses's line, "Let my people go," takes on a whole new meaning.

It's going to be a great week!

#AtoZ : L Mr. Lansky

Happy Birthday to Mitchell! 

My Favorite Husband

Today, April 13th is not only Thomas Jefferson's birthday, but it is also my husband's birthday. This birthday makes me look like a true cougar. You see, he's been aging backwards ever since he hit fifty. As for me, I prefer to lie upwards. Remember how great I look for 82? So, if I'm 82, and he's 45, Grr!

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#AtoZ : Killer Cookies

I had a craving for cookies. Our cupboards were bare, and I don't eat sweets, anyway. But, to get the satisfaction, I filled a soup mug with pancake mix, an egg, baking powder - spilled, too much vanilla (oops), Splenda, and I added a few decadent chocolate chips. I didn't measure anything, and the batter was too

salty, but with the made up concoction in the oven for eight minutes, we shall see.

I Yi Yi! These taste horrible! I kid you not, even the cookie monster wouldn't want them. Do you think it's the fact that I spilled the vanilla or put too much baking soda in them? Of course, burning these suckers didn't help, either. 

Next time, I'll follow a recipe because even my dog cookies taste better than these. Today, I tossed my cookies!

#AtoZ : Jewish Geography

The Jewish community has always been a tight knit group. If I want to know something about a Jewish guy, I can make two phone calls and learn his life story.

For example, my freshman year of college, I met a young man who asked me out for New Year's Eve. He had told me about his year in college, yada, yada, but I didn't know him at all and wasn't sure if I'd made a smart decision when I told him, "Yes." When my gut told me to do research, I made two phone calls and found out more about him than I should have.

Turned out, the dude had lied to me. He was still in high school and had done some immature and violent things that made it clear that I needed to stay far away. So, I broke our date. I know it wasn't nice, but a girl has to think of her safety first.

A few years later, I was talking to a friend about Jewish Geography. I told him the story about my broken date, and he laughed hysterically because he knew the story from another angle. Turns out this high school kid had bragged about how he was coming to a party with a college girl. When he showed up alone, people asked where I was? When he told them I'd broken the date, they cheered.

I know he wasn't a nice guy, but I wish I hadn't put him through that. I hope he has forgiven me. It would have been better had I never met him.

#AtoZ : I am Not Spoilt!

This morning, my middle child posted a Facebook Buzz Feed Article called,  Were You A Spoilt Child? Readers are asked to tick off everything they owned from Slip 'N Slides to a Darts Board. At the end of the test, the post will tell you whether or not you were spoiled.

The following conversation ensued: 

#WW #AtoZ Hair

Jossie O. has great hair!

Ernest has a cute little daughter. Thanks for lending me her photos for WW.

#AtoZ : G is for Gadget Breakage Problem

My son claims I got mad and ripped the handle off the microwave. If that's the

case, I guess I tore the knob off the refrigerator, too. I also yanked the cord on the vacuum cleaner and broke it. Now, I have an excuse for not vacuuming. Furthermore, late one night, I climbed up on our roof, jumped up and down, and put holes in it. Not to mention the leaking faucet. I shouldn't have forced my fist down the pipe.

I've got to learn to control my gadget breakage problem. On the upside, or down depending on how one looks at it, we replaced the vacuum cleaner, today. Time to pick up dog hairs.

#AtoZ: Favorite Son Returns - Letter F

Happy Birthday to Daniel

My Favorite Son

Me at 26 with Daniel

It's April 6th, and here's the post you've all been waiting for: a recap on my favorite son's lovelife. One year later, and he's still single. Some of you may remember my post on his birthday last year, where I advertised to find him a wife. I actually survived the post and am ready to celebrate his birthday number 26. On my birthday 26, I was married and expecting Daniel. 

On the bright side, Daniel has a girlfriend, and I actually like her. She is blond and beautiful (of course), and she is not afraid of me . . . yet. This girl has a great personality and is fun to talk to. On the Jewish issue, we're halfway there, but it's the Dad half. I wonder if she'd convert? She's also smart. She's working on a Master's Degree at Vanderbilt. And guess what else? She actually reads my blog! So, am I in trouble again this year?

I figure my last year's post wasn't that bad because Daniel has shown it to everyone and their kid brother. If you missed it, you'll have to check it out and see what you think: Last Year's Mom Fail. I'm sure you'll laugh.

On the down side, Daniel's girlfriend has a mustache. I guess it's okay if she doesn't spill food in it when she eats.

Since it's time for Musical Monday, I will leave you with "Danny's Song." We started his Bar Mitzvah video with this very same tune.

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#AtoZ E - Enough Dang Gummit!

In a 5-4 vote, our fair and impartial Supreme Court decided to allow rich people to buy elections. You can just guess how these folks voted. I have lost all respect for the justices on the Supreme Court. 

Now that there is no ceiling on what billionaires can spend on their candidates, two things could happen.

1.) Peggy Lee's vision of the rich getting richer (and the middle class disappearing). Forget about our environment or programs for the have nots. The rich will make sure to elect those to protect their interests and screw everyone else.

OR

2.) Billionaires will waste their money on failed campaigns, and I will laugh!

Let's hope for #2!

D is for Dead, Dead, Deadsky

On Monday, my computer failed to project my lesson to my high-tech Promethean Board; so, I did what we're told to do: I turned off my computer. This would have been great had the machine turned back on. Nope. I poked, tapped, and held the button down for an insane amount of time, but the computer is dead, dead, deadsky. Luckily, I just backed it up last week. Even still, I lost part of today's lesson and had to hustle to rewrite it. Technology is great when it works, but when it doesn't . . .

Word of advice: 

BACK UP YOUR COMPUTER, NOW!

#AtoZ: Here's Letter C at Catch My Words

 

I started Catch My Words almost seven years ago to show book agents and editors that I'm part of the internet world and get published. Seven years later, I'm still not published but am in a great position when the time comes for shameless self promotion. I've also made wonderful bloggy friends who I hope will offer arc giveaway contests for my book when the time is right.

Note lower right hand corner: Not actual size

As you can see, my blog didn't really take off until 2009 or beyond. Posting once every six months doesn't bring readers. Also, my current readership is down, but so are my blog visits. It's tough to keep up with visitors while working full time and posting three times a week, or daily in April.

My trick to successful blogging is keeping posts concise, funny, and adding pictures. People don't want to read much, so after writing a draft, I'll cut verbiage.

Finally, I have a few favorite posts that have

Erica's artwork of the Tooth Fairy: Tina Fartingle.

not gotten attention, while others enjoy multiple hits. Maybe it's because of words like "Christian Gray" or "sex." Yep, those two always up the stats. Have a great day, and here are some kisses for you. XXX  Ha, psych! I just attracted some weirdos.

I leave you with a link to a post from March, 2011. It reached a whopping twenty views and four comments! Lunar War?

A-Z Meets Babies with Letter B

Who didn't read my entire post yesterday and congratulated me on my pregnancy?

No woman my age would want a crying pee-shooter keeping her up in the middle of the night. Now grandchildren would be different, you can love on them and then give them back. So, NO. I'm not going in the history books for having a baby after a hysterectomy, although I did read about this happening in rare cases when women kept their ovaries. 

None-the-less, I'd love to have a human grand baby one day, but for now, I have to settle for grand dogs. Don't get me wrong, I love Ruby and Mowgli. They even let me sleep at night when they come for visits, but they aren't human.

However, we have set rules for our kids to follow before giving us grandchildren.
      
         1.  The kids must be married to have babies. 
Although I advertised for a wife last year on my son's birthday, he is still single. Dating a sweet girl, but single, none-the-less.

          2.  The kids must have a college degree to wed.
Two down, one is over halfway through. 

So perhaps we're getting close. Anyone want to marry my beautiful and educated children and make human babies?

A-Z Challenge Begins

It's the beginning of April's A-Z Challenge, which gives me the chance to talk about a most unusual turn of events. Stories say Mary conceived with immaculate conception, so maybe my story can join the history books, too. I'm pregnant!

Yes, I'm married and whatever else goes along with it, but I also had a hysterectomy almost two years ago. Why did I keep those dang ovaries? My doctor said, "I couldn't get pregnant."

She lied! 

For how else would one explain the great bulge that has crept up around my middle this year?  It's big, it's round, and it means my adult children will have a little brother or sister to play with. Maybe it's twins? Heck, I don't know. The bump is big enough for two.

So, I'll keep you posted on my latest development. In the mean time, have a happy April Fools Day.

#MM: Happy Birthday to My Mother-In-Law

 

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday, so I figured I'd play a little Kiss for her. I know this is just the band to write a beautiful ballad for Beth.

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Family Traditions: Let's Make Dad Mad

The Blogging Lounge asked for family traditions from my childhood, but I'd rather tell you about the one from my second family. It was a game my kids used to play before every road trip called, "Let's Make Dad Mad." It would start with kids squabbling in the back seat. Then, my husband would stop the car, usually before we reached the end of the driveway. We would sit in the car for thirty minutes with Mitchell threatening for us not to take the trip. I would plead with the kids to stop fighting, but that didn't happen. Finally, after a long delay, the kids would hush, and we'd start out on our vacation. It happened so often, we considered it a family tradition.

#WW: Us From Mars

The Curiosity Rover captured Earth 

 from the Perspective of Mars. 

#MM: Happy in Memphis

Harding School students put together this 

video showing some notable parts of Memphis.

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!