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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Appreciated!

Here are a few of the Valentine's I received from my students. I teach a pull out program called APEX for Intellectually Gifted kids. I feel super appreciated.














Sunday, February 17, 2013

Musical Monday: Weird Al

It's Musical Monday, so here's a fun song fit for a humor blog.





Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Friday, February 15, 2013

#Dayum!

My friend Kathy from the Giggling Trucker's Wife has asked us to write about what we are passionate about, so I've included a list of these things below.

1.




Dayum!


My daughter says I can't remember anything because I drink diet soft drinks. That must be why my list is blank.



Dayum!


Furthermore, the commercial states that the average person spends the same amount of time in the bathroom as on vacation. I spend more time in the bathroom.



Dayum!


Kathy writes, "If I didn’t pursue my passions, I think life would be pretty dismal.  Pursuing passions makes life worth living and more meaningful." I haven't pursued much recently.






Dayum!

It could be worse. I could be on a broken down cruise ship with sharks, or err lawyers, swimming all around. 

Here's a fitting commercial for Carnival.




Dayum! Dayum! Dayum!


Thursday, February 14, 2013

#GBE2: The Crowd

      
She munches a skinny sprig of celery and then sends it to her personal jacuzzi. 
Or perhaps, she'll pretend to enjoy an apple--a starter food that avoids the crowd as it churns to oblivion before it rains 
                              peanut butter crackers

                  The storm always comes. 

Still trying to stay healthy with a bit of protein, she searches for the perfect snack. 
But a healthy treat is not what she craves--
only a filler to stall a rising crowd in her acid pool

Chips
                                     Dips
Chocolate cookies
Ice cream
Soda pop
M&Ms

                       Doritos
                            Cheetos
                                     Oreos
Oh nos!


There's no turning back once "the crowd" sends her butt to the Lane Bryant store.




Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Bath & Body Works Revisited


Sleep lotions are not all one can find at Bath & Body Works.

You can buy a lotion to give you energy.

or if you want to be sexy for Valentine's Day. . . 


Ooooo, sensual. 


Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Song That Doesn't Represent my Life

Last Thursday, Suzy asked fellow bloggers to share songs that represented our lives. If I were to do that, you'd probably fall asleep reading my post. I figured it would be more fun to play a song that DOESN'T represent me and to participate in the wonderful Musical Monday on a Silly Sunday!

Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

When I was in third grade, I wore a bikini that actually looked cute covering my undeveloped chest and showing my flat little girl stomach; however, since those days, I wouldn't be caught in one. First off, I'm short wasted and look better in a one piece. Secondly, I've become a prude who doesn't like looking sexy. And finally, when I last wore a bikini, I got myself in trouble. 

I know that sounds hard to believe when we're talking about an eight-year-old, but let me explain. Back in the day, we played a hose game called Filling Station. Kids would dart around in swim suits, wait in line to grab the hose, stick it in swim suit bottoms to fill up the car and continue running again. Sounds like a totally innocent kids' game, doesn't it? It was! Never-the-less, when my brother pulled out the home movies and captured me sticking a hose down my pants, I never heard the end of it.

That's why I switched from bikinis to one-pieces. I didn't want to be tempted to stick a hose down my pants again!


Enjoy this retro song written by Brian Hyland and sung by Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.




Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

#GBE2: Dreams

I Dream of Jeannie
The work was completed and the research paper turned in, so we visited the comedy club for drinks and fun. The comedian on stage asked if anyone was celebrating anything. I told him I'd finished my master's paper. After a short pause he said, "I Dream of Jeannie! Get Jeannie a free drink."


Nothing like retro TV to bring back fun memories, but why did Astronaut Nelson dream of Jeanie? Jeannie got him in the most trouble when he was awake. 


Like that would happen!


My guess would be the sad situation of a girl calling her man "Master." After all, isn't every man's dream to have someone as beautiful as Barbara Eden ready to grant his wishes? Of course, if Major Nelson were a real person (instead of a fictional character), the show wouldn't have been rated G.

Television is that dream place where pathetic guys get beautiful girls. Do you think Ginger or Mary Ann would have spoken to the single men on Gilligan's Island had it not been written in the script?


Penny & Leonard

A nerdy professor, a fat captain, and an accident prone idiot usually do not garner the attention of beautiful women. Maybe Gilligan's Island should have been called, "Dream Island" instead. 

But guess what? It's not just retro TV that matches dorks with beauties. Penny dated Leonard on The Big Bang Theory. Don't you love a great fiction story that lets guys dream?




Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Meditation

Photo by Bev Gutmann / Caption from Josh Arcus

I sure hope they clean the end of that pole before tomorrow's shift.


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Silly Sunday: Dog Does Float Trip

"The Swaz" 1998-2011
Year's ago, we took the Swaz on a float trip down a Tennessee river. Our large golden retriever "enjoyed" a day which probably haunted him into old age. First, we paddled through floating grass, but the dog thought it was the real thing as he stepped out of the canoe and dove head first under water. We struggled to pull the front end of this massive beast out of the river because his back legs were lodged in the boat, and he'd drown without our help. That was our warm up.

Later, we tipped in rapids that left us in panic once we brought our heads to the surface. Swaz was nowhere to be seen. Finally, my husband lifted the canoe to find our baby paddling underneath it. Upon seeing Mitchell, Swaz panicked as he climbed on top of Mitchell's shoulders continually trying to get higher out of the water. We should have charged admission to laughing observers on shore. If you decide to take your dog floating, beware.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Writer's Post: Little Things That Make Me Smile

Corinne Rodrigues from the Writer's post is sponsoring this week's topic of "Little Things That Make Me Smile." Perhaps when you see girl scouts outside the grocery store, you'll remember this post and pass a smile forward. 



Memories From The Cookie Sales

Many years ago while helping my daughters sell Girl Scout cookies outside the Kroger store, a slender, well dressed man approached us with a task. He paid for six boxes of cookies but only took three. Bending down so that he was eye to eye with the girls, he said, "I'm leaving three boxes of cookies, and I have something I want you to do." He asked the kids to find three people who looked like they were having a bad day, give them a box, and tell them, “Someone wants you to have these cookies.” 

The scouts spent the next several hours observing every Kroger shopper to decide who needed a pick-me-up and then reveling in the joy of giving away cookies. Thirty minutes after presenting a free box to one woman, she returned with tears in her eyes and money to pay for someone else’s cookies. She told the story of how her car had broken down and she was having an awful day until the troop lifted her spirits with a simple gift.

This pattern of buying and giving continued throughout the weekend and had become a practice of the troop each year. Now that these girls are grown-ups, they still remember the man in the suit and continue to perform random acts of kindness when possible. I dare you to buy an extra box of cookies for a stranger who needs a little thing to make a smile.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: My Baby is Twenty Today

Gasparilla in Tampa: Arghhh. Shiver Me Timbers!


Happy Birthday, Erica Lynn!


You must have been a beautiful baby.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Silly Sunday: Chickens

Two morons were walking down the street. 

The first one says, "Hey! If you can guess how many chickens I have in my bag, I'll give you both of them."

"Three."

"No fair. You peeked!"


Photo from Backyard Chickens.com
For more chicken fun, visit The Backyard Chicken


A farmer graduates from Texas A&M and starts his own chicken farm. He buys three chickens, plants them in the ground feet first and then waters and fertilizes them. Much to his dismay, the chickens die. So, he buys three more chickens and plants them in the ground head first. After water and fertilization, these chickens die even faster. After that, the confused farmer writes his school and tells what happened. 

The next week, a letter arrives from Texas A&M:

Dear Farmer,
Please send soil sample.

 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Music, Rhythm, and Rap

When young, if it wasn't rock 'n roll, it wasn't worth listening to. Although I still prefer rock, especially classic rock, I've found a few gems in other areas.

Take rap. I hate it. Rap is not music but rather some hoods yelling into a mike. Then again, I love this little jewel called, "Rapper's Delight" by Sugar Hill Gang. The full song plays fifteen minutes; however, I've included the condensed version. After six minutes of listening to this catchy beat that is ranked #248 on Rolling Stones Magazine's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time list, I dare you not to at least chair dance.

I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you don't stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat.


I don't have a clue what the dude means, but it's fun to listen to.  Is one supposed to bounce on a hip? Not recommended for seniors. The rapper mentions hippies but weren't they more into peace, love people now, and come together? Either way, I'll jump up and boogie. Although the above part makes no sense, other verses are crystal clear.

Have you ever went over a friends house to eat
and the food just aint no good?
I mean the macaroni's soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood;
so you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin' that you're full,
and then your friend says, "Momma, he's just being polite
he ain't finished uh uh that's bull."
So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate,
and your friend says man there's plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate. 


source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

Here's some "music" that's got plenty of "rhythm." Take a listen and if you're old like me, it will bring back memories. 
If not, maybe you'll enjoy something new.



Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: The Dancing Hot Dog

I don't know why this dude shows up at all the foot races wearing a hot dog suit, but he also came to the MRTC party dressed like this:

Blair Parker - Photographer



I was ready to credit Blair with taking this photo too, but that's him over the hot dog's left shoulder.





Monday, January 21, 2013

Honey Bear's New Collar


Honey Bear is worn out from two runs today, but the collar looks great!
I struck gold when asked to sample and review the Toughhound personalized collar that is available for purchase at the Dog Bark Collar store. This sturdy collar came compete with a personally engraved tag that looks like the engraving is here to stay, unlike some of those cheap, flimsy tags that fade with age. The blue polycoated nylon webbing band also has a strong feel to it that should survive the gnawing attacks from our grand dog Ruby. She totally destroyed Honey Bear's last collar. Come at it, Girlie! She won't be able to chew through this one. 

We've also had to listen to jingly dog chains falling from other collars. This collar's name plate isn't going anywhere the dog doesn't go. Plus, it's quiet. Now, if we could get the dog to be silent too. That's another division of http://www.dogbarkcollar.com/.

Another thing I like about this collar is that I had a lot of choices when ordering it. Such as thirteen different fonts and seven different colors. I had a tough time choosing the color. I originally went with the pretty lime but decided the blue would go better with Honey Bear's fur. However, the Rockwell font was an easy choice for me.

Finally, the measurements are true to size, making this collar a perfect fit. Yay! I'm glad I got to review the Toughhound personalized collar. This one is a definite keeper.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

School Projects

Mustachio Bashio
After raising three kids, we experienced many years of school projects. The dogs and I are grateful to be past those days, since the poor pooches often became the victims subjects of study and I struggled to help kids pull these together. Once, Daniel shaved his hair and the dog's to see whose mane would grow back the quickest?

Answer: The dog's, of course; however, fourteen years later, the kid has plenty of hair.

Then there's the time I found a patch of fur missing from the golden retriever's tail.

"What happened to the dog's tail?" I asked.
"I needed fur for the fox on my poster, so I cut it."

Poor silly looking animal! Good thing Erica didn't need something that doesn't grow back.

RIP - You were a perfect subject!
Through the dog's participation, sometimes with free treats, we became better educated. We now know not to buy bottled water for our dogs. We get their water from the good old faucet, even though that's not the favored drink. Serving muddy rain water is the best way to please your pup.

We also learned not to stare at wild horses. You may think you know when someone is looking at you, but you don't. For a third grade science fair project, Judy stared at people for a set amount of time and recorded how many individuals realized she was looking at them. Most humans did not notice; however, animals always knew they were being watched intensely. For a good time, stare at zoo creatures, especially the big baboon. HA!


Judy - Grade 3



Disclaimer: Staring at animals should be done at your own risk. I am not legally liable for broken glass on cages, refunding admission prices once you get kicked out of places, or removing tusks from your backsides as you run from irate zoo animals.





Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Writer's Post: Masterpiece

I'm participating in a blog hop hosted by Jenn Duffy Pearson, of the blog wine n chat. The topic and prompt for the hop is masterpiece.

As a child I loved to color, even if I'd never been one to stay in the lines. I'd squeeze the wax between a tiny fist, scribble until tired, and then switch the crayon to the other hand. 

"Your child may not enter kindergarten early because she has not established a hand preference," the experts told my parents. As a result, the adults encouraged me to choose the right hand.  I chose left. It would have been fun to be ambidextrous like President James Garfield. He'd show off his classical education by writing in Greek and Latin at the same time. Hmm. Maybe I could have drawn pictures of Fruit Loops with my left and noses with my right, since I didn't have a classical education.

The Clown in The Attic
Creating art with only my left hand did not hamper my abilities to produce masterpieces. In first grade, my clown picture was chosen, from the entire school district, to be framed and hung in the Bracken Building.

The next year, I drew another picture I liked and asked my art teacher where it was. When she said, "On my desk," I thought nothing of getting it and taking it home. Little did I know, the teacher frantically accused the older kids in the school of taking my picture as she searched everywhere for it. I thought it was okay to take it home, why not? Unfortunately, I ripped it while struggling to put on my coat. Maybe another masterpiece would have ended up in the Bracken Building.

Today, I doodle trees while on the phone. That's about it. My early art talent never took off. As a teen, I took an art class for "fun." Apparently, I had too much fun and my art teacher was not happy. Thus, ended my art career. Shucks!